hopelesshappiness.com

When I think of Happiness as defined and conceptualized on this web site, I don't know the answers to the questions below.

Is Happiness contagious?

Is Unhappiness contagious?

What role (if any) does humor play in Happiness?

What is the relationship between euphoria and Happiness?

How (and how much) does kindness from strangers impact our Happiness?

Is 'Group' Happiness possible?

Is artificially induced Happiness okay?

Are there too many 'Happiness Gurus' on the web, and do any of them (us?) know what they're (we're?) talking about?

Are there certain types of music that increase or decrease our Happiness or Unhappiness to a greater or lesser degree?

Fill in the blank - "Buying (blank) makes me happy." For me, the (blank) is a book. What is the relationship between that material object, or what it may represent, and my Happiness? Or is it the symbolism found in the act of purchasing that contributes to Happiness, and if so, is that Happiness?

Does busyness enrich our Happiness, or does it just keep us from contemplating our Unhappiness?

Sadness is not the same as Unhappiness. Does sadness impact our Happiness, and if so, how?

As my thoughts evolve, any one of these questions may become a future post.

Two weeks ago in this previous post I identified 6 contributing factors to Unhappiness. Several weeks ago in this previous post I identified 8 ingredients for Happiness, and then expanded upon that with the creation of the Periodic Happiness Table of Elements. I've been thinking this week about the holiday season and specifically why and how it impacts our Happiness and Unhappiness, and have identified various factors and elements from the aforementioned posts and pages that may give us more control, if we choose to heed their advice.

I think the 'Why' (though it is connected to various factors and elements) is effectively explained across the board as simply 'unrealistic expectations.' Throughout hopelesshappiness.com we encourage moderation and a perspective grounded in reality. Disappointment when reality does not match up with expectations, certainly impacts Happiness. In some cases the 'Why' may be centered around other's expectations; you can play through some of those scenarios, either from experience or stories, in your head; (if you've never seen the movie Home For the Holidays with Holly Hunter and Robert Downey Jr, it is a great example of clashing expectations). In our materialistic culture filled with narcissistic marketing ('Narketing') the bar is set high, yet it does not take much to drive many of us over the top in this 'Happiest' (tongue-in-cheek) of Seasons. Unfortunately, even for many otherwise well-balanced people, Holiday Happiness can take on a manic vibe; (I think of nutcracker marionettes on speed).

That brings us to 'How' we whip ourselves into such a frenzy, or depression, and more importantly, how we can keep from doing so; which thinking about it is really the same question - just a matter of degree. Of the previously mentioned contributors to Unhappiness and ingredients for Happiness, the usual suspects that wreak havoc this time of year include Worry, Overindulgence, Squandering, too little or too much Human Interaction, and Superficiality (little or no Complexity or Depth). It seems from about a week before Thanksgiving to a week after New Years, Life takes a prolonged cigarette break, and productivity plummets. This year I am going to make a concerted effort to stay balanced between Thanksgiving and New Years, cut back on my 'too much', and look for opportunities to rev up my 'too little'.

Additionally, the 'too much' crowd should seek those whose Holiday Happiness is impacted by 'too little' and transfer some of the 'too much' in their direction. If you look at the Periodic Happiness Table of Elements you will see this listed as Compassion / Altruism; a suggested Guiding Principle that (I believe) enriches Happiness.

So whether you scale back, spread the cheer and wealth, or simply relax more and avoid the hype -

HERE'S WISHING YOU AND YOURS A HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!

"I know everything." Obviously this is not true no matter who makes the claim. Sergeant Schultz in Hogan's Heroes was closer to the truth when he frequently said "I know nothing." This same thought process can be applied to Happiness. While we maintain (here on hopelesshappiness.com) that Consistent Long-lasting Happiness (CLH) is unknowable, we can make a valid argument for its existence as a limiting concept. If it did not exist, then philosophically-speaking we could not pursue it; and just as we pursue higher levels of knowledge, we will continue to pursue higher levels of Happiness.

I have recently been working on wrapping my brain around the phenomena / noumena distinction; or (very) simply defined - sensory reality (phenomena) vs. ideas or thoughts unknowable through the senses (noumena). Kant's 'thing-in-itself' (ding an sich) expands upon this concept, and invites some philosophical controversy and debate, but in-depth explanations are not necessary to understand that Happiness in its perfect form, as a higher-order state, falls outside the realm of sensory reality. If you refer to The Periodic Happiness Table of Elements introduced on this site, you will see some elements that fall within this realm, and others that do not. Of those that at first glance do not, they may ultimately create (or contribute to) a sensory reality that enriches Happiness.

So ...

Philosophy and Life Experience teach us that there are certain things beyond our sensory grasp; yet we can intuitively or ideologically reach them with our minds. I believe what this tells us is that we should strive for the unknowable, and as we do so the knowledge we gain will take us ever closer to that boundary between sensory reality and the realm of ultimate Truth.

To know hopelessness is to encourage hope.

Now you too can be Unhappy. We can show you how in six easy lessons. Join the millions who have already unlocked the secrets of dependable, antagonistic, long-lasting Unhappiness. Let our experts help you to master the critical skills needed for enthusiastic inclusion into various elite groups of whiners and complainers. This course is ideal for anyone employed in (or considering employment in) bureaucracies such as the government, banks, insurance companies, or the legal profession. If you have family or friends, this course is perfect for you. If you have no family or friends - even better.

In Lesson 1 we will show you how to Worry. Included in your kit will be 100 blank pieces of paper on which to list all your worries. If you are unable to fill them right away - "Don't Worry" - we have plenty of prompts to get you started. Things like: Was that indigestion, or was my boss scowling at me? And: What is my next car repair going to cost me? And: Do these pants make my butt look big? Thousands of possible worries listed in hundreds of possible interchangeable categories so you can pick and choose topics that are currently applicable, or branch out for variety.

In Lesson 2 we will cover the importance of Blame and how it can contribute immeasurable depth to your Unhappiness. Married? We can show you how to deftly deflect an accusation turning it to your advantage. Employed? We can show you how to subtly shift attention from your minor indiscretions to a co-worker's more obvious mistakes and shortcomings. You can blame others for your problems; you can blame yourself for other's problems; you can blame specifically from the problem perspective, or from the 'blamee' perspective, or from both ends at once; you can blame yourself for your own problems; you can blame others for their own problems; you can even blame yourself for blaming others for blaming you and others for the world's problems. The inculpatory possibilities are endless; and guaranteed to be non-productive.

Lesson 3 will help you to Feel Sorry for Yourself. You will learn in this lesson the art of feeling sorry for yourself with no sympathy from others. This is accomplished by either holding it all in, or constantly blathering on to everyone about how rough your life is. We will assist you in determining which path is appropriate, and when, in order to maximize your misery. (Most often we find it best to blather at work and hold it in at home, but it will depend on several variables.) We often find after lessons 1 and 2 that most of our students don't have a problem finding reasons to feel sorry for themselves, yet we include with this lesson hundreds of additonal prompts applicable to self-pity, as well as blame and worry. Student feedback shows this lesson to be one of the most rewarding in terms of deep-seated, hard-wired learning.

It is human nature to Overindulge. Everybody is doing it, because if a moderate amount of something gives us pleasure, then a larger amount will give us a larger amount of pleasure - Duh! So what is so special about Lesson 4? It is here that you will learn the secret to truly living not just in the moment, but FOR the moment. You will learn that THE MOMENT is all that matters. You have already learned in Lesson 1 how to worry about the next moment, but here you will learn how to replace that worry with other more dreadful worries, thus allowing yourself to come back to THE MOMENT. Why whip cream and a single cherry on top? Why not whip cream and cherries on top of whip cream and cherries? Let's follow the example set by our nation's leaders - let's all overindulge on overindulgence.

In Lesson 5 we will teach you how, what, and when to Squander. For some this is a tough follow-up to overindulgence, but we place it here intentionally so you will be able to clearly delineate the differences between the items encouraged in 'Overindulgence' and the items presented in this lesson that are critical components to a continuing life of Unhappiness. For items such as time and opportunity we will teach you sure-fire methods of procrastination that will allow you to let these things just slip through your fingers almost before you know they are there. We will teach you how to squander regret by making certain you learn nothing from past mistakes, drawing from Blame and Overindulgence concepts previously learned. And money? - though most of our students have this concept well in hand we will give you additional suggestions on how to squander money to assist in adding depth to Blame, Worry, and Feeling Sorry for Yourself; (if you have lots of money, we covered your special circumstances in a section of Overindulgence). We will introduce some new Squander concepts as well, including hypochondria (touched upon in Lesson 3 and expanded upon here), passing the buck, always 'looking' busy, and never volunteering, being friendly, or making eye contact. This is just the tip of your melting iceberg. This lesson includes dozens of other recommendations and suggestions; some of which are absolutely worthless, which further drives home the point that we should all aspire to Squander aimlessly.

And finally Lesson 6. It is a fairly easy leap from the previous five lessons to the penultimate in Unhappiness - here we will help you to see the wisdom in Giving Up. We start slow, encouraging you to Give Up in a small area such as yard care or some aspect of personal hygiene. Then we move to increasingly more complex areas with far-reaching implications into your work and home life. And, as you become more adept at combining these feelings of helplessness with Blame, Worry, Feeling Sorry for Yourself, Overindulgence, and Squandering Aimlessly, not only will you Give Up, but others will Give Up on you. Of course we will also teach you how to avoid complete debilitation as a result of giving up, because if you reach that point you may no longer care that you're unhappy. So we will teach you how to pull yourself back from that brink, time and time again as needed, in order for you to reap the greatest benefits from your unhappiness for years and years to come.

So don't wait. Call now and we'll throw in 2 free bonus lessons - "How to Derail Other's Uncalled-For Happiness" and "What To Do When Happiness Catches You By Surprise." Quantity discounts are available, so consider giving the gift of Unhappiness to friends, family, employees, or total strangers. It is truly a gift that keeps on giving. Operators are standing by.

When I say 'Strategic Leadership' I am not talking about a leader that develops strategy; I am talking about a strategy for leading people. When I say Happiness I am referring to the concepts, methodology, and framework presented throughout hopelesshappiness.com. Specifically I will be drawing from the Ingredients for Happiness as presented in this previous post, and other elements as presented on The Periodic Happiness Table of Elements.

Leaders are meant to inspire and guide us with great vision and ideas. For many it seems to come natural, but for most (even most of the 'natural born leaders') it is a skill learned and improved upon like any other. As you will see below, the same construct that has been presented as a philosophy of hope for Happiness, readily serves as a roadmap capable of providing the feedback and discipline necessary for driving growth and success. As it is with Happiness, regardless of leadership skills, there will be the ever-present constants of good times (light) and bad (dark) that will challenge and create the (hopefully infrequent, yet) unavoidable setbacks and delays; but also like Happiness if we choose principled, sturdy guides and pay attention to the signs along the way, it can be a rewarding trip. The hypotheses, variables, crutches, and basic premise, proofs, arguments, and beliefs as presented in The Periodic Happiness Table of Elements also easily transfer into a strategic leadership framework.

Simply put, whether you are mentoring one individual or leading a large organization comprised of thousands of people and hundreds of units, you can follow the same plan previously suggested for increasing the length and frequency of your RMH (Relative Momentary Happiness). We will focus on the Ingredients:

1. Pleasure / Comfort - For an organization this translates to stability and security. For an established organization this may already be in place, but will still need to be provided for new members as they join your organization. Additionally, (as it is with Happiness) you cannot get too comfortable. Overindulgence is a road leading to disaster; (as illustrated by several so-called business leaders in 2008). Moderate and Stay Sharp.
2. Enjoyment - Don't confuse this with Pleasure. Enjoyment is the realization of the joy of challenge. Think about how you have felt in the midst of or immediately after accomplishing a difficult task or project. As a leader focusing on an individual, you must provide this achievable challenge. The same is true for an organization, with some additional complexities, including analysis, interpretation, and communication of the internal processes necessary for execution.
3. Human Interaction - This seems obvious but it cannot be cursory. Whether talking to an individual or a group, and be they members, prospective members, customers, employees, or any other interested party or stakeholder, you must be sincere. Empathy, compassion, and attentive listening will also enhance beneficial Human Interaction.
4. Learning - Learn from your mistakes and from your victories. Study internal workings, look at yourself and your organization from an objective, external perspective, and benchmark yourself and your organization against similar organizations or undertakings. Understand the big picture.
5. Growth - This can refer to the obvious growth in size, membership, geography, profits, or other measurable results; or it could refer to a more subjective, esoteric internal growth of organizational culture and individual creativity; or ideally it could refer to both. Rapid growth can be problematic; proceed with caution.
6. Attention and Focus - This is a natural outcome of previous stages and should typically include discernment of organizational and/or individual strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities; and from this a leader should guide controlled attention and focus to those areas that will provide the greatest dividends.
7. Complexity - Broadening the organizational and individual perspective will benefit both. It is logical that as we gain stability, handle challenges, communicate effectively, remain open to change and learning, acknowledge growth and improvement, and learn to focus, we will also be able to efficiently organize and handle complexities in a way that will actually clarify goals and vision.
8. Depth - Solidify roots and connections across all facets of your organization or undertaking by cycling through the stages above as needed. Utilize your chosen values and guiding principles to drill down for a deeper understanding.

As stated above it is very important to cycle through the stages in order to reap the greatest benefits from this process, though you should gain some comfort and understanding with each current level before moving to the next. It is not recommended to skip stages. You can step back as needed, but shortcuts are not allowed. You can even stop at or after stage 3 and have some success, though stopping at stage 1 or stage 2 will likely result in failure or (at best) some short-term success. Additionally, as with Happiness and Truth, you will never attain an ultimate complexity or depth. There is always room for three-dimensional growth.

Though it may sound contradictory, you should let thoughtful, intuitive judgment guide you through this Leadership process.