hopelesshappiness.com

Pomp and Circumstance:

"An ostentatious display of ceremonial grandeur."

"Histrionics, blatancy, fuss, ostentation, formality, bravado, bravura, showmanship, grandiosity, flamboyance, boastfulness, dramatics, flourish, flashiness, splendor, parade, swaggar, splashiness, garishness, dash, opulence, gaudiness, pomposity, pomp, flagrancy, pageantry, showiness, affectedness, grandiloquence, shamelessness, jauntiness, sensationalism, snazziness, exhibitionism, ornateness, vanity, rakishness."

The definitions above are (respectively) from www.phrases.org.uk and www.synonymfor.com. The quoted definition below, (with some liberties) is from www.dictionary.com.

Magic:

"Allurement, augury, bewitchment, conjury, enchantment, fascination, illusion, magnetism, power, sleight of hand, sorcery, sortilege, trickery, artifice, deceit, distraction, duplicity, pretense, treachery."

Superficial:

Lacking depth; lacking substance; lacking follow-through; ignorant; frivolous; out of touch with reality; cheap.

Cheap Magic:

Pomp and Circumstance.

The relevant irrelevance above, (though irrelevant), is relevant to today's newsmakers and their headlines. Our leaders today apear to care more for news-grabbing action than they do for carefully considered progress. We need more think and less do. We need more verbalogistic conversation and less rapid-fire verbowellistic horseshit.

These last few weeks I have had less time to think because I have had more to do. It has shown in my written thought. I believe thinking is at least as important as doing and maybe, (depending upon the circumstance), somewhat more important. I also believe that there must be some balance. Looking around, it appears we have lost our balance. There are some days in which this loss of balance feels less like an unsteady, slightly drunken stagger and more like out-of-control merry-go-round-inducing vertiginous bouts of eye-popping nausea. However, I would contend that we have always suffered splashy, showy, shameless tyrants, but it is only of late that some of the worst of these pompous know-it-alls have risen (temporarily) to greater heights thus gaining a (temporary) modicum of legitimacy.

As further evidence for my contention that tyrannical showmanship is fairly commonplace, today, sitting in a coffee shop, I was subjected to a nearby young woman's blatherings about the (self) important influence she is exercising at a new job, while (for an hour) her table mate barely spoke. Today I was subjected to a large garish pickup truck with very loud mufflers accelarating unneccesarily for a period of 5 to 7 seconds and 10 to 20 yards. Today I blatantly boasted to a colleague; I won't say about what, because that would only compound the bravado. These are all minor and relatively harmless histrionics; but examples of dramatic swaggar, nonetheless.

I believe, (though my wandering words profess otherwise), that there is a connective thread. It begins with choice of action as described below.

Level 1 Action: Pomp and Circumstance.

Level 2 Action: preceded by verbalogistic conversation and resulting in beneficial productivity.

I believe "verbalogistic" (though not a word) is self explanatory.

In these last few weeks, I have found that in "less-think-more-do" mode some Pomp and Circumstance is unavoidable; and I have (re)discovered that I enjoy some amount of flourish. But, ostentatious ceremony is nowhere near the same zip code as reality. Reality is (at best) relatively unexciting and (at worst) involves pain, whereas flamboyant grandeur is an anesthetic upper. I understand the allure but I believe---(I very, very strongly believe)---that a sense of reality is far, far more important than the sense of entitlement that often encourages and then reinforces Level 1 Action.

This week circumstance has begun to settle and I am working to resituate thinking and doing back into a more advantageous balance; (at least advantageous in terms of verbalogistic reality). And if I take nothing more from this week's written thought than this concept of verbalogistics, I am much better off than before.

When an elderly and/or ailing family member comes to a point, we put them in an assisted living facility or a nursing home. When an elderly and/or ailing pet comes to a point, we put them to sleep.

No, I am not suggesting euthanasia for the elderly. Nor am I planning to open an elder care home for pets; (though there are a few in existence). I believe what I am noting this week is that in some families once a member is put in a long-term specialized-care facility, the family's perspective is similar to a pet owner who has made the decision to put an animal to sleep. We suddenly see the ailing elder, (human or animal), as transitioning beyond daily relevance.

There is an intense sadness that surrounds and permeates this process of dying. Death brings closure and, with memories, softens the edges of sadness. But dying is hard. I wonder, (and one day I will come closer to an answer), if dying is easier on the loved one than it is on those that love. Perhaps it is different for each individual.

I can look at my dog and say with confidence that, for him, dying is harder than what death will be. And maybe here is the difference between humans and animals. Humans know enough to fear the unknown. Death is an unknown. No matter living and dying declarations, I believe that for Humans there is and will always be some uncertainty in those final moments. My dog is just going to sleep.

I believe it is important for people to help one another through the process of dying which by default includes the countenance of death. I also believe it is important for people to help their pets through the process of dying, but any consideration of death is selfish and (for the animal) unnecessary. I do not believe my dog is concerned with what is coming. Dying is hard. Death does not have to be. My dog is just going to sleep.

... ... ... ... ...

Yesterday my dog went to sleep. So many emotions... Some people would remind me that he is a dog; and I used to be one of those that did not understand the need to grieve so fiercely for an animal. Elvyn is the only dog I have ever had, and after 14 years of sharing, I now understand. There is a line in a Leonard Cohen song:

"Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died"

Yes, he is a dog; and he is one of the best friends I have ever had. Yesterday he went to sleep. I miss him.

We should be angry. But after a time, we find various ways to let it go; become accepting; and quiescent. I believe this must be a necessary human mechanism that aids in the prevention of heart attacks; and murder. I believe that for most of us, this (agreeable, accommodating, amiable, compliant, conciliatory, obliging, solicitous) mechanism is on a constant cycle, always humming in the background, ready to gear up at the least sign of provocation. Provocation can come from another individual, a group, an organization, a circumstance, or a blend. Many, (if not most), believe that this complaisance is a right and proper state; to be good and kind little children is ingrained (to an extent) in each of us. Even though we should be angry.

I believe knowing that we should be angry, yet having the hum of good and kind constantly in the background, can on occasion create a conflicted state of anxiety difficult to escape. There should always be a degree of uncertainty running alongside the anger to question and temper the anger. But, if a circumstance or an individual or a group delivers an injustice perceived as extreme, I believe one may experience uncertainty of such intensity that they feel compelled to angrily oblige; which is obviously conflicting. In this instance I believe good and kind should be thrown out the window, because good and kind are in the way of moving on.

But if I am able to get past good and kind, how then do I deal with the circumstance? A heart attack or murder are not favorable options, but the anger must be expressed in some manner. If the source of the injustice is an individual within my reach, I may choose rational truthfulness directed at the individual. But if the individual chooses to not listen and/or is unable to comprehend? In this case, the act of expressing truthfulness has helped with forward movement. And if it is an individual, group, or circumstance beyond my reach, I believe that to express rational truthfulness to an empathetic ear will also help in some small measure. And, on occasion, rational truthfulness may find a target and perhaps chip away at injustice.

So far I have simply said 1) throw good and kind out the window, and 2) express your anger verbally and rationally. It seems basic, but since I believe we should be angry, thinking through the process helps me to reconcile various threads of daily anger. This in turn, coupled with a recognition that the source of the injustice is relatively inconsequential to the whole of Humanity, ensures continued functionality.

Some may question the wisdom of daily anger, but if one believes "we should be angry" (as I do), then a process must be implemented to handle that anger. And I would argue that to not understand why we should be angry is to be (at least a small bit) delusional. And I would also argue that rationally processed anger drives learning and adds to wisdom. I would much rather be angry than complaisant.

I believe step 3 is to rationally prioritize. With anger, there will always be a natural emotional prioritization, but while taking that into account I must also consider the potential productivity of a specific thread of anger. This means that on occasion it will appear I have let some things go. This is the process. I am channeling anger toward productive results while actively learning and working toward Truth and Wisdom.

Again, this sounds simple; basic. Yet without these rational reminders, I may find myself in a prolonged state of anxiety lacking productivity, much less learning. We should be angry. And if I recognize this, I must have a process.

Upon reaching...
...stretching
...yearning
I found that the reward
...was ill-named.

Some called it prosperity.

Some called it peace.

Some called it love.

After decades of straining
...and consistently finding it coiled
And ready to strike
I call it
What it is
...Reality

I work part time as a cook at a rehab facility making $9.50 an hour and today a new supervisor came in to check my kitchen at the end of my shift and he was with another supervisor that knows how to talk to people and the new guy started talking about me lumping me in with everybody saying if THEY don't see it they don't clean it talking like i wasn't even there which is disrespectful and i would a lot rather be lumped in with the group he was automatically assigning me to than to be associated with a disrespectful condescending know it all even though it is best to not be lumped in at all so i told him that he had not been with me all day and he did not realize what the day was like and to go look at the freezer i defrosted and cleaned and the storage containers that i cleaned out and the extra day care dishes i did and the outstanding care i gave to our residents because they are the reason we are here and i wanted to tell him to go ask them what they think of the job i am doing and perhaps it would behoove you to actually work a few actual shifts doing what you purport to judge and so what if i missed a few crumbs around the steam table and a few spots on the hand sink and i did not even take a break today partially because the last person did not come down for breakfast until 10:15 and that is wonderful because it gave me more opportunity to talk to the residents and i found out that Charles used to be my bread guy when i managed a convenience store and we have a Jane and a Rachel as residents and my wife and daughter are Jane and Rachel and Amy has a great sense of humor and they are all more than just residents they are people too and i am more than part of THEY i am a people too and your lack of respect and inability to effectively communicate is going to do more harm than the good you believe the lack of a few crumbs will do because you are going to lose a few workers that you see as crumbs and while due to personal circumstance beyond many people's control some may have to smile and keep their mouth shut for fear of losing a job to your power trip i don't because i am only working part time and there are a lot of jobs out there paying a crumby $9.50 an hour so keep up with the ego act and you will be short one more crumb because even though i like working here i don't have to and i have written this entire stream of consciousness in the 45 minutes it has taken me to walk the 2 miles from work to Starbucks and though it may appear to be childish sometimes childish feels good and sometimes truthful may manage to hit a target and somewhere in this 2 mile rant i have also realized that if i were a renter and the new guy was a diabolical new landlord who owned the house i just rented or if i were a below average credit score and the new guy was a creditor or if i were an immigrant and the new guy was Trump then the lesson would still be about how a pretentious narcissistic brute mistakes random circumstance and good fortune as skill and entitlement and exercises power in a heavyhanded oppressive manner reminiscent of unforgiving violent savage days gone by in which might was right and so i guess part of what feels good in this circumstance is that i can be childish and truthful and not worry about being approved or getting kicked out of my house or country so all the new guys out there better watch their step because those you call THEY are gaining in numbers every day bye