When an elderly and/or ailing family member comes to a point, we put them in an assisted living facility or a nursing home. When an elderly and/or ailing pet comes to a point, we put them to sleep.

No, I am not suggesting euthanasia for the elderly. Nor am I planning to open an elder care home for pets; (though there are a few in existence). I believe what I am noting this week is that in some families once a member is put in a long-term specialized-care facility, the family's perspective is similar to a pet owner who has made the decision to put an animal to sleep. We suddenly see the ailing elder, (human or animal), as transitioning beyond daily relevance.

There is an intense sadness that surrounds and permeates this process of dying. Death brings closure and, with memories, softens the edges of sadness. But dying is hard. I wonder, (and one day I will come closer to an answer), if dying is easier on the loved one than it is on those that love. Perhaps it is different for each individual.

I can look at my dog and say with confidence that, for him, dying is harder than what death will be. And maybe here is the difference between humans and animals. Humans know enough to fear the unknown. Death is an unknown. No matter living and dying declarations, I believe that for Humans there is and will always be some uncertainty in those final moments. My dog is just going to sleep.

I believe it is important for people to help one another through the process of dying which by default includes the countenance of death. I also believe it is important for people to help their pets through the process of dying, but any consideration of death is selfish and (for the animal) unnecessary. I do not believe my dog is concerned with what is coming. Dying is hard. Death does not have to be. My dog is just going to sleep.

... ... ... ... ...

Yesterday my dog went to sleep. So many emotions... Some people would remind me that he is a dog; and I used to be one of those that did not understand the need to grieve so fiercely for an animal. Elvyn is the only dog I have ever had, and after 14 years of sharing, I now understand. There is a line in a Leonard Cohen song:

"Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died"

Yes, he is a dog; and he is one of the best friends I have ever had. Yesterday he went to sleep. I miss him.