I am conflicted. On the one hand I am told to follow the rules. On the other hand I am expected to get a certain amount of work done. Yet one of the rules today is no overtime and the amount of work I am expected to complete cannot be completed in 40 hours. Having spent more of my life in salaried positions than in hourly positions, I have more of a salary mindset than an hourly mindset, so I am inclined to get the work done and to hell with reporting overtime. When the demands and expectations are louder, more vocal, more demanding, more expectant, more urgent than the rules that are just quietly sitting there, what am I to do? Granted, many rules are made to sit quietly waiting to pounce on an opportunity to screw the little guy, but with my mindset and the work that needs to be done, I can’t help but to do the work. I am vulnerable. If my immediate supervisors are paying the least bit of attention, they have to know there is no way I am producing what I am producing in only 40 hours per week.
To put someone with a strong sense of responsibility in a position in which they have to choose between getting the job done surreptitiously or failing… For me it is about the job; not the boss, not the supervisor, not the rules, not a few hours here or there, not the recompense, and it is not about me. My email signature includes the words “student support” and in everything I do I am all about process improvement and service; so I am going to do everything in my power to work toward these ends. Shame on the boss and shame on the rules for putting me in this literal damned if I do and damned if I don’t circumstance.
In the book “This Life: Secular Faith and Spiritual Freedom” written by Martin Hägglund, I read the following two sentences: “The problem with capitalism is not that it privileges value and social wealth. The problem with capitalism is that it distorts the meaning of value and social wealth.” (p. 260). Capitalism insists that labor time is the measure of wealth yet pretends to be a democracy in which free time, (time in which one can engage the question of what one ought to do and pursue means to that end), is the objective. To survive, capitalism must gain value, and to gain value capitalism must seek surplus value from labor time; thus, because it insists on eating up free time in pursuit of surplus value in labor, what capitalism pretends, (the objective or end is free time), is impossible within the context of capitalism. Granted, technology (an important aspect of capitalism, utilized to gain efficiencies and temporarily increase profit) in theory creates free time, but due to the nature of capitalism and its need for the sustenance of profit and ever-increasing wealth, this theory ultimately creates a reality of unemployment (when workers are replaced by technology) or exploitation (where workers must constantly and continuously produce more). So, aided by technology and its concomitant unemployment/exploitation dynamic, capitalism becomes a self-perpetuating mechanism in which the means, (monetary value of labor time), has become the end. And capitalism loves a good emergency. Throw crises into the mix and the cycle strengthens. The ratio of living labor relative to non-living production is important for growth, and there is nothing like a good-old economic bust or an all-out war to destroy large amounts of capital and help to increase the ratio of living labor thus arresting the fall of profit and beginning a new cycle of growth and profit. Go Team!
If democracy (i.e. free time in which to engage the question of what one ought to do followed by the means and the freedom to pursue that end), is the gold standard, then why have we taken away the means for so many with the commodification of basic human rights such as childcare and healthcare and education? It appears that everything has become a commodity because the survival of capitalism demands it; thus (again) the means, (acquisition of wealth), has become the end. Capitalism creates inconsiderate priorities because it encourages manipulation of supply and demand in order to privilege “the accumulation of profit over the satisfaction of needs and the provision of resources for spiritual development.” (Hägglund, 2020, p. 298). Capitalism is a coercive system working with all its considerable might to force me to live my life for the sake of profit. Democracy, on the other hand, has no value within the context of capitalism and will always take a back seat because its goals are incompatible with the demands of capitalism and capitalism is the puppet master, pulling the strings of not only individual actors but also those of acquiescent systems; which under the yoke of capitalism is pretty much eventually all other systems.
As a subject – Yea, Verily No – as an obedient, subservient captive of capitalism I am required to give my time to feed the monster. I am fortunate that many of my job responsibilities are compatible with what I believe I ought to do. And though I have the security of some work still to do at the end of the day I am unfortunate in that I also still have some week at the end of the pay. I am contributing to the survival of capitalism and suffering from a severe shortage of democratic principles.
Which takes me back to my conundrum of rules vs ought. I ought to serve people by being productive and creating efficiencies and (in this particular job) supporting students. If I follow the rules, I am failing on two of those three counts. If I buy in to capitalism and believe that financial remuneration is the end that I seek, I am failing on two of those three counts. But if I believe in democracy and do what I ought, then I am working toward the end that I seek on all three counts. Do I do what I ought? – (Democracy and damned if I do). Or do I follow the rules? – (Capitalism and damned if I don’t). This exists as a conundrum because (again) Democracy and Capitalism are incompatible.
I feel like for much of my life I have battled this imaginary construct of money. I bought into “the American Dream” and I (in all sincerity, though misguided at times) sought meaning and purpose in my life always putting rights and ideals and goodness and justice ahead of financial gain. Many capitalists maintain that because I can choose how to survive without anyone telling me what to do, I am free. But just because I am able to make decisions, does not mean I am free if those choices are guided by a system whose end is not my desired end. Capitalism prefers profit; I work every day toward rights and ideals and goodness and justice; guess who is winning, or more accurately who is losing. So, here I am going into my sixth decade and I have many second thoughts. If I wanted to get along with capitalism, I should have done many things differently. I feel bad for my family because they could be more comfortable right now if I had cozied up to capitalism back then. For myself, the sacrifice is maddening and unjust and enlightening and worthwhile; but if I could do it all again, I would have to think hard about what my choices have done to my family. I don’t know. Even if I knew then what I know now, it would be difficult for me to overcome my strong sense of justice. Conundrum.
We are captives captivated by capitalism. Democracy is either an afterthought or just another captive. I don’t believe that redistribution is a long-term answer. I don’t think communism or socialism or any other “-ism” that has lived and died in our past is an answer. I believe that some current systems of democratic socialism around the world may hold some answers, but I also believe they are merely the leading edge of an evolution that must somehow transform capitalism into an eventual nonexistence; I believe it will be a long, slow, arduous transformation. Nonetheless…
The Security of Capitalism: I still have some week at the end of the pay and I still have some work at the end of the day.
The Failure of America: A widening gap, one side filled with despair; the rich and pretentious pretending to care.
The Dream of Democracy: Provided the means to do what I ought, I choose my own path in a life that’s less fraught.
