It is curious that no matter how much I read, learn, study, write in one week, the next week comes along demanding that I read, learn, study, write even more. I believe there are some who believe they know everything they need to know and don’t want to “waste their time” with more knowledge. Even if reading, learning, studying, writing is a waste of time, (I don't believe it is), I would rather waste time than resources. We live in a world today so rich in relatively easily accessible knowledge, making lifelong learning possible for many (and probably a large majority) of us, why would anyone choose to quit? Why would anyone choose to know with certainty? Why would anyone rest on their self-defined laurels? Why would anyone claim to have expertise when they don't? Why would anyone choose foolishness when they could choose the utilization of resources? We are all fools in varying degrees, but to choose my self over the combined past, present and future intelligence of an entire species is beyond foolishness; it is reckless, it is dangerous, and it threatens our survival.

I got a little sidetracked. I began the paragraph above intending to consider the nature of striving, and the seemingly never ending, inexorable march of days and weeks requiring such effort in the lifetime of a single individual, and the difficulty in continuing to move forward in the face of seeming futility. But perhaps the sideways bunny trail above leading one to certainty and self-congratulations expresses just how difficult it is to move forward. Perhaps the ego is merely waste, vomitus, excrement spewed forth as a result of one being swallowed whole by futility. And perhaps this realization is a first step toward striving toward next week, and a recognition that my days and weeks are numbered, and a strength to continue reading and learning and studying and writing.

I believe that to serve, to contribute, to advance first and foremost requires an awareness of one’s vulnerabilities, which in turn can create an awareness of one’s potential capabilities, which again in turn must always be tempered by an awareness of one’s vulnerabilities in order to hold ego in check. I also believe one must strive to learn within each moment, hour, day, week whether that be through interactive experience, focused effort, or a combination thereof. Ego stunts learning. Those overtaken by ego likely do not expend much focused effort on learning. Those overtaken by ego likely approach interaction as if they know best. Those overtaken by ego cannot serve, contribute, advance.

In a given moment, as a human, any one of us can be overtaken by ego. To strive toward next week and to recognize the definition of my earthly days and to have strength for constant service, contribution, learning, advancement, I must overtake ego. And to survive as a species, we must overtake ego.

We are in a state of disrepair. We are filled with waste, vomitus, excrement that began as ripples of individual fear and has become tsunami waves of pretentious contempt and effluvious malevolence battering us all on all sides. I want to ask, how did we get here? But fear and feelings of futility have always been a thing, so perhaps this is not the question we should be asking. Perhaps we should be asking, how do we get past this debilitating hump of stupidity and ignorance keeping us from an evolution necessary for our survival? I believe comfort is necessary for justice, but how do we find comfort in uncertainty? And how do we find justice in trepidation? I believe those in power should recognize and care for those who are vulnerable, but how do we find compassion in avarice? And how do we find influence in servility? If it is simply a matter of waiting for the old guard to die off, I am not sure we have that much time; today there are many young people in the old guard…

It is curious that no matter how much I read, learn, study, write in one week, the next week comes along demanding that I read, learn, study, write even more; demanding that I ponder, consider, cogitate, wring my hands even more; demanding that I laugh, cry, seethe, scream even more; demanding that I protest, argue, disbelieve, actively hope even more. And the days and the weeks continue to march on; and I believe they will do so even upon my departure; at least for a little while…