hopelesshappiness.com

We are often afraid of the Dark. But it seems too, we often avoid the Light. Yet I believe our greatest fear is a fear of nonexistence, or nothingness. We fear this possibility, though we are unable to perfectly define or even imagine such a state. Upon trying, we are always left with consciousness, or empty space, or some other theory of 'something' possible. And if when we attempt to visualize Nothing, we are left with Something, we realize that 'Something + Nothing = Something'.

Last week (and the week before) I maintained that we all (individually and collectively) instinctively seek balance. I ended last week's post with the following: "In a sense, Perfect Balance equates to zero; so in a sense, that search for Perfect Balance - Perfect Stillness - Perfect Peace - is a search for Nothing. And in a sense, in this world Nothing is impossible, and beyond this world Nothing is waiting to be discovered." One recently-read thinker described these word games that treat 'Nothing' as 'Something' as Paradoxical Twaddle. This paradox is (at least in part) due to our empirical inability to define Nothing as anything other than Something. And this lack of comprehension scares the living daylights out of most of us because (though we cannot put it into words) we can feel nothingness as cold, dark, silent, and lonely. Some may claim that this foreboding sense of nothingness is proof enough that Nothing is a very real possibility. I believe this fear can be offset by either a) ignorance, or b) one's active, contemplative search for Happiness. I have chosen the latter.

Even in a vacuum state, which it seems is the closest we can come to replicating our concept of nothingness, there is actually a lot going on. In terms of negative energy, a vacuum state is less than nothing; which makes it something. In the same sense, I can imagine my empirical nonexistence (before birth and after death), but I cannot for the Life (or Death) of me imagine my self-identical nonexistence. From a different angle, the fact that I can identify a 'me' coupled with the fact that I am here, (I strongly believe) means I was meant to be here and I was meant to have an impact; so when I am no longer here (or if I had not shown up) empirical facts will be (or would have been) different. I am not independent of the rest of this world, because (I also believe that) all things in this world that have a self-identity form a synergistic bond creating a whole that is much greater than the sum of its parts. We may not always recognize or acknowledge this synergy, and even when considered many may deny its existence, but for the sake of Balance my existence depends upon our existence. This means that while I am no more or less necessary than anyone else, I am AS necessary, and my impact will live beyond me and by some accounts may have lived before me.

Scientists have now shown with quantum entanglement that the impact of one particle on another can be felt through time and space. Two photons that never coexist in time and are thousands of miles apart can become entangled, having impact on one another. Associating this science with the inexplicability of a self-identical consciousness, how can one not believe that there is some Transcendental Truth (perhaps undiscoverable in this lifetime) that will answer 'Why me - here - now? And, will go on to show the interdependent bond between all things that have a self-identity; even across all facets of time and space.

Yes, this could be (extending a description) Transcendental Twaddle. Yes, this world may just be brute fact. Yes, there may have been Nothing before the brute fact of existence, and there may be Nothing afterward. And yes, I may simply be fulfilling my existential destiny to create an essence from this brute fact.

And yes, I am contradicting my thoughts from last week by now arguing that Perfect Balance - Perfect Stillness - Perfect Peace is not possible, in the same empirical sense that 'Nothing' is not possible. But it is not a contradiction when one considers the very real possibility of a transcendental existence. I still maintain that we all (individually and collectively) seek that Perfect Balance, (but now add to that) instinctively driven by a pure consciousness unencumbered by the trappings of our humanity. In our empirical existence, one's consciousness cannot help but to become intertwined and muddled with one's humanity; yet I still feel (instinctively) the division and purity of that consciousness when I self-identify. When I attempt to imagine 'Nothing' I remain - my consciousness remains; so upon physical death, it seems impossible that my consciousness does not remain. That energy of self-identity must live on in some way.

So Perfect Balance = Pure Consciousness = Empirical Nonexistence. In this world we fear that Empirical Nonexistence equates to Nothingness. I maintain it does not. In this world Nothing is impossible, and beyond this world, driven by Pure Consciousness, Nothing (as Something) is waiting to be discovered.

Consider:

• We know empirical existence, which is a spectrum from chaotic disorder to ordered complexity.
• We do not know transcendental existence.
• Certainty is the antithesis of true faith, and also works against Truth.
• Within our humanity we are saddled with opposing forces or sets of opposites for which we instinctively seek balance.
• We live in an empirical existence of chaos and complexity; we strive for an unknown transcendental existence of balance and simplicity; and while I am not certain, I believe that this transcendental existence abides.

Last week I commented that we (as an individual or as a group) have a natural tendency toward balance. I also defined balance in this sense, as 'The degree to which all the attributes are in harmony, with none either too prominent or deficient.' I would like to explore these concepts further.

Be it physical, emotional, intellectual, or spirtual balance, I believe the conative or volitional instinct toward that balance is (as implied) a natural tendency inherent in us all. There are some who choose to ignore, hide, or even embalm and bury various aspects of this natural importunity, but I also believe one does so (very much) at their own peril. To close the gap on Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness, one must seek balance, while acknowledging that Perfect Balance is unattainable, due to the sometimes chaotic, ever-present complexities of this Lifetime.

I want to think about the mechanics of balance for a moment. Mathematically it could be represented as negative one plus one equals zero; (-1+1=0). Logically it requires opposing forces or opposites. Empirically it often involves excess or scarcity. The 'too much' or 'too little' can apply to specificities such as too much food or drink, or too little exercise, or it can apply (from a larger perspective) to one's balance of character such as too much physical or mental enjoyment characterized by vacuity, or too little intellectual or spiritual growth which in turn perpetuates the vacuity. It can also impact Happiness (one's search for Truth and wisdom) in the sense that if one avoids or ignores the unavoidable and necessary pain and adversity found in one's daily existence, then one will never close the gap on balance; i.e. Happiness.

In this empirical existence perhaps this is the reason we are saddled with our humanity; so that there are opposing forces or opposites creating the challenge to find balance, advance learning and growth, and ultimately close the gap on Happiness; (individually and/or synergistically).

If I were to nominate a spectral candidate to lead a parade of opposities, I believe it would be Good and Evil because of the energy necessary to ride herd on these opposing forces. Free Will allows one to decide which aspect dominates in which circumstance, and (I believe) one should strive for Goodness, but (again) being saddled with our humanity, we are weak and in some circumstances we are Evil; (to ourselves and/or to others). With the strength of Goodness, Evil can be imprisoned within, but its energy is still present, acting on us in other ways. Imagine a heavy spring placed upright on a table, with its top circumference about the size of the palm of your hand. Now imagine pushing down on this spring to hold it at its maximum tension. To suppress Evil is much like suppressing this spring; the tension and potential energy of this mechanism pushing back against your palm, occasionally forces one to let up (at least) a little, thus releasing (at least) a little Evil. The balance resides in the unreleased potential (crouched and ready to spring), thus allowing for the illusionary reality of Goodness and Strength having overcome Evil and Weakness. We have not eliminated, destroyed, or otherwise won a war against Evil; we are simply holding it at bay.

Another empirical spectrum of opposites would include the known and the unknown which in turn encompasses Empirical Truth and Transcendental Truth; I believe Logical Truths would fall along the spectrum between these other two.

A potentially all-encompassing empirical spectrum would consist of the Dark and the Light. Evil and Good are subsets of Dark and Light, but this is different in that though Evil may be Dark and Goodness may be Light, there are times that Dark and/or Light simply happen (as in the case of illness and health), while Good and Evil imply intention and/or controllable strength or weakness; ('controllable' to be defined according to individual standards and expectations).

Another potentially all-encompassing empirical spectrum might be order and disorder. I say 'might' because I believe order and disorder to be (respectively) synonymous with Light and Dark. Some may disagree.

Energetic Uncertainty and Slothful Ignorance are also empirical opposites, again as a subset of Light and Dark.

I am certain I have excluded other opposing forces critical to Happiness, but for now (and in the context of this week's thoughts) this feels like a viable beginning.

In a previous post (Centered Happiness) I contemplated 'Finding Answers' and 'Perfect Balance' and in looking back would like to rethink some of those thoughts. The following passage from that post is central to this week's new thoughts:

"It now makes more sense to think in terms of Perfect Balance. But as previously stated, to know Perfect Balance one must first know the opposite extremes which are unattainable ideals that continue to be pushed further out of reach due to entropy. (Now I feel as close as I've been to understanding why the answer(s) are so elusive.) Imagine a potentially infinite number of teeter-totters evenly spaced and all sharing a single fulcrum placed in the exact center of a circle. Imagine all of this mounted on a circling merry-go-round. Each teeter-totter represents a component or sub-component of Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness. With our mind's-eye we are scrambling over multiple teeter-totters at once, attempting to understand the gravity as it impacts each opposite end (extreme) of each and every teeter-totter in order to find its Perfect Balance and calm or still its disturbing, vertiginous motion. Yet as we scramble, we find we can never reach either end of any of them. So when we've reached as far towards the circumference as we're able, and scramble back towards the center, we then seem to get closer to the balance we seek. Occasionally we get lucky and accidentally land on the exact center (which we are blind to) and for a fleeting moment we know Perfect Balance - for that one component. With a little more effort and luck we may occasionally experience it for more than one component at a time. These teasers may explain why we continue to seek the answer(s) and the entire construct may explain why the answer(s) are so elusive. The constant whirling motion of the merry-go-round by itself will not allow Perfect stillness, and with entropy constantly lengthening the multiple teetering/tottering diameters (thus enlarging the merry-go-round) it appears to be an exercise in futility.

So does this mental construct go beyond an explanation and assist in understanding and bring me closer to answers? I believe it does in that it encourages me to continue scrambling; reaching for extremes and seeking a center. And when I experience that fleeting moment of calm, it drives me to fervently continue my search."

First, I would like to clarify one point made in the passage above. When I said, "Occasionally we get lucky and accidentally land on the exact center (which we are blind to) and for a fleeting moment we know Perfect Balance - for that one component," I should have extended the explanation that (since there is only one fulcrum) the reason one would only know Perfect Balance for that one component is due to limited vision. We may subconsciously feel the Transcendental Truth of that Perfection across all spectrums, but consciously (saddled with our humanity as we are) we are only able to associate it with one or a small handful of the infinite multitude of teeter-totter components within the construct.

Additionally, this week I have realized that Perfection is not the extremes. The extremes represent maximum chaotic disorder or Dark (on one end) and maximum ordered complexity or Light (on the other end), and are the ultimate (unattainable) paths to Perfection. I believe the mistake was in equating maximal with Perfection, but this week I am of a mind that Perfection is the fulcrum.

I would also like to note (which I do not believe I did in the previous post) that the teeter-totters are of varying lengths and weights, as gravity impacts each one (and varying sections of each one) differently.

As implied above, the Empirical Truth of this world is that we will never be able to settle on the fulcrum and experience Perfection; i.e. an ultimate Truth or Happiness. But yet we still search. And I believe we search because on a Grand scale, Perfection (or Transcendental Truth) is an ultimate Peace or Stillness or Balance found at the aforementioned fulcrum which is the antithesis of active empirical existence as we currently know it, and we are instinctively attracted to opposites in order to find balance; and this set of opposites appears to be the 'end-all'.

So in a sense, our search for Wisdom, Truth, and Happiness is one of morbid curiosity. In a sense, Perfect Balance equates to zero; so in a sense, that search for Perfect Balance - Perfect Stillness - Perfect Peace - is a search for Nothing. And in a sense, in this world Nothing is impossible, and beyond this world Nothing is waiting to be discovered.

To be continued ...

Warning! Harsh Truths Ahead! Proceed with Caution!

Are you dissatisfied with any aspect of your current Life situation? Have you recently noticed any dissatisfaction (yours or other's) lurking nearby, waiting to pounce? Has anyone of late expressed dissatisfaction with or about you? If you consistently answer 'no' to these questions or simply don't understand them, WAKE UP! - Or go back to sleep and do not read any further. If you are oblivious to Life's challenges and surrounding discontent - if you have trained your mind to disavow reality - enjoy your rainbows and lollipops; what lies beneath will likely not impact your perspective.

(If you're still with me) when you ponder Life's challenges do you often verbalize vexation to others? Do you often find yourself in the middle of a group gripe or a collective clamor of discontent? And if so, does it help? No, I don't mean does it make you feel better for a little while. I mean, does it move you closer to a resolution? In the midst of these malevolent confabulations do you come to any fruitful, productive conclusions? If not - Why Not? Shouldn't that be the purpose?

1. Identify a problem.
• 1a. Complain; (it is human nature after all, so go ahead).
2. Propose a solution or solutions.
3. Act to improve or resolve.

It is easy to identify problems and whine; steps 2 and 3 above become progressively more difficult. Granted, the outcome of actions taken may be unpredictable and a fear of the unknown is a common human characteristic, but still I believe it better to take action than to passively accept the unacceptable. And as I have gained Life experience I have more than once, in hindsight, second-guessed actions I have taken, thinking perhaps they have left me worse off.

However, this second-guessing is not only fruitless but may also be inaccurate, as I do not know with any certainty the potential outcomes of actions not taken, or of inaction. And additionally, one argument for taking action - one thing I do know - is that because I have taken action (that does not physically, unjustifiably, or inordinately harm others) my integrity is intact...

...This remains true even when the outcome is not what I had hoped.

...This remains true even when others disagree.

Outcomes are unpredictable...

Action trumps inaction...

When I take action, I am (in the moment, for the future) true to myself.

The following passage comes from the recent Pulitzer Prize winning work of fiction 'The Orphan Master's Son' by Adam Johnson. Jun Do (the orphan master's son) on his first visit to the United States is asked by an American, "Do you know what free feels like?" Here are his thoughts and comments:

"How to explain his country to her, he wondered. How to explain that leaving its confines to sail upon the Sea of Japan - that was being free. Or that as a boy, sneaking from the smelter floor for an hour to run with other boys in the slag heaps, even though there were guards everywhere, because there were guards everywhere - that was the purest freedom. ... "Are there labor camps here?" he asked. ... "No," she said. ... "Mandatory marriages, forced-criticism sessions, loudspeakers?" ... She shook her head. ... "Then I'm not sure I could ever feel free here," he said."

As this passage illustrates, if there is an extreme deficiency in an aspect of one's life, that fact intensifies even the appearance (which feels like a prominence) of its opposite, thus creating a greater appreciation and understanding of that particular quality-of-life characteristic. This is so, due to our natural tendency toward balance.

I found a wonderful definition for 'balance' as it applies to winemaking that is equally applicable to a productive individual or group dynamic:

'The degree to which all the attributes are in harmony, with none either too prominent or deficient.'

Translating this definition and the passage from 'The Orphan Master's Son' specifically to a group setting, if the prominence of one or more members of a group is overpowering, this will create a significant deficiency in one or more other members of the group, resulting in disharmony and discord; and potentially creating a greater appreciation and understanding for what is necessary to resolve the issue, at least in those suffering the deficiency. And if and when this point is reached, when our instinct leads us toward a more balanced state of affairs, I believe it is time for planning and action.

It has been a common theme throughout this site that adversity breeds learning and growth, and creates the potential for closing the gap on Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness. However, the stagnant pools of adversity inherent in inaction (while they may build some character and enhance stoical acceptance) do not encourage one to pursue Transcendental Truth. And in a group setting, it is much easier to blithely accept the adverse conditions, with an occasional expression of verbal discontent when you see everyone else wading through the same brackish, dormant, foul-smelling waters and covered with the bites and stings of the same annoying pests and vermin that thrive in this environment. Yes, this is an exaggerated depiction. Most groups are not this extreme, but looking back over my 50+ years, in every group there is (at the least) some seasonal fluctuation in insect populations.

The ultimate point of this week's post is that no matter the dynamic (individual or group) we have a natural tendency toward balance. And, if in a larger group there are overpowering elements, we tend to identify with a subgroup that is more balanced. Working within this subgroup dynamic helps us to feel better but it does not solve the larger dissatisfaction. Acting on proposed solutions to resolve though may create greater discord / dissatisfaction, but inaction will only encourage status quo. Occasionally, a stance of 'wait and hope' will see a problem get resolved, but the 'wait and hope' strategy is typically not a contributory factor; and to see a problem resolved without personally contributing to the solution is a little like winning the lottery.

I've never understood why lottery winners receive congratulations ...

I saw a friend buried this week. Keith walked the walk. I will miss him.

Even when faced with mortality, Happiness (one's quest for Truth and Wisdom) cannot die along with the questions. In other words, one must continue to learn from the exoteric goodness left behind and not allow time to heal all wounds. Death is painful to those of us still learning. As time goes by the pain of a friend's death may subside, but in quiet moments one should remember, and laugh, and cry, and learn - and live.

The process of dying is, in actuality, a definition of Living; and Life is painful; (as it should be). Occasionally someone comes along and shows us how to go through this Life - this process of dying - with character, and strength, and nobility. When that happens we should pay attention, and hold onto the joy they have left behind, and embrace the pain inherent in the loss. In this manner, perhaps we too can Live this Life as it is meant to be Lived.

I will continue to Learn, and Hurt, and Hope, and Grow. Thank you Keith, for helping in this process. I will miss you.

I was accused this week of stealing dreams and sowing seeds of hopelessness and discontent. As it was a drive-by diatribe, I did not have the opportunity to respond at the time, so ...

I did indeed indicate that (in context) we should (when asked) present reality and suggest alternatives. I have also previously stated that without Dark there is no Light, and without an understanding of hopelessness there is no hope. It is up to the individual to determine the reliability of other's opinions and (though we do) one should not allow another's view of reality to discourage or stultify. If I am asked, I will respond truthfully.

Imagine the following scenario: you are in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and it begins to snow, (which though somewhat unusual is not unheard of). After the first few normal flakes fall, suddenly most of the falling flakes are purple instead of white. Being in Baton Rouge and knowing the LSU colors (Purple and Gold) your first thought (after Geaux Tigers!) is probably along the lines of who and how? You might also think that it is a pretty cool stunt, but you probably will not think it is magic or miraculous. I suspect you will be fairly certain that there is a logical, empirical, or scientific explanation for this purple snow. Now imagine you are with a young child who has seen snow and knows it is typically white, but based on this experience proclaims this as magic snow from heaven blessing their beloved Tigers before the big game against the hated Crimson Tide. Do you let the child believe in magic, or do you explain that it is more likely a stunt? And if you let it go for the moment and hear later it was a stunt, do you explain it then? And if not, how long do you let them believe in the magic purple snow? Do you wait for them to ask? Does it make a difference if it is your child, a close or distant family member, or a friend or acquaintance's child? Does it make a difference if they ask what you think? As empirical realities pile on, most children eventually figure out Santa Claus, and though it would be nice to forever believe in Santa Claus and Purple Snow this world does not allow it.

So yes - in this context, and in the world of adults, I am a dream bandit sowing seeds of adversity in order to help others (who have asked for my help) to learn and grow. And if they continue to believe in Purple Snow, that is okay. Perhaps they know something I do not, and perhaps I will learn something from them. And we can always hope it truly will give LSU an extra edge. Geaux Tigers!