hopelesshappiness.com

It is late in the week (Wednesday) for me to begin writing. I am fixing dinner, reading about the philosophy behind immortality, drinking a beer, and listening to music that is claiming "nothing is sadder than the soul of a hard-working man; with no means to help out his family, and nothing to do with his hands." The song goes on to ask the question, "What will become of the hard-working man?" The book describes mysticism as "truth flowing into our soul from its fountainhead like an active force." - (attributed to Henri Bergson). The corn is boiling; (I turned it down). The beer is cold. Marty Stuart is now singing (different song) "We're brothers, though we've never met. We've both known heartache, disappointment, and the pain of regret. The full weight of sadness, Love, and its cost. And without Love, a soul is nothing but empty and lost." The book (a few pages later, eavesdropping on a conversation) says, "you feel the life force in love." Perhaps country music and philosophy are not so far apart.

Now it is Thursday and since I need beer to pull relevant meaning from country music (and I'm on my lunch break from work), I'll think about mysticism and intuition. Intuition is defined as 'direct perception of truth independent of any reasoning process'. We frequently attempt to de-mystify mysticism through words. More than two years of weekly blog posts are built on a mystical foundation of our Lifelong search for (unattainable) Truth and Wisdom. Even knowing it is unattainable, we feel compelled to search. Nearly 100,000 words and I continue to use words, knowing words will never suffice.

Intuition occurs in that magical (mystical) moment when one has transcended a particular aspect or (in rare moments) the whole of oneself, but has not yet consciously realized it. In this moment, there are no words. Once the moment becomes tangible (known), the magic is gone; and we cannot re-mystify the mundane. Through words though, we can (and do) glorify these leaps that (we feel) pull magic from beyond. These leaps and the effort expended are 'learning', and this magic made tangible becomes personal growth. 'Learning and Growth' is important and (in a worldly sense) magical, but still, once words are applied...

Intuition also occurs when one transcends, yet never consciously realizes it. This intuition (I believe) is/(is not) identifiable as a teasing vexation that resonates yet is easily ignored or dismissed. This intuition is like a beautiful butterfly seen fleetingly, yet not captured, pinned down (with words), and put on display. This intuition is elusive, therefore thought by some to also be illusive. This intuition is encouraged by solitude, thoughtful reflection, Love, pain, work, and Goodness; but this intuition can also stop us in our tracks on a crowded sidewalk, or in the middle of a busy workday, or (most rewarding) in the middle of a meaningful conversation, but we only stop momentarily, pause to look all around, and wonder "What was That?" This intuition is fleeting, unknown, and yet, somehow, known.

I have stated previously that 'I know I don't know'. Yet I also realize that (in some intuitive way) I have some knowledge that is unknowable. I remember a carnival ride with open cars on legs extending outward from a central spoke. The cars circled faster and faster making me feel as if one time I would be flung smack into the approaching wall. But by the time I had this thought, the wall was past; until it (or another one) came around again. The only way I would have known the Truth of that wall, is if one time I was flung out of my car. Some cower from the approaching wall. Some are nonchalant spectators. And some reach out for the wall, screaming for its Truth as they pass by. One day, each one of us will be flung face-first into the Truth of that wall. In the interim, we can each choose our approach; and we should each recognize it as 'our' approach.

Now back to Marty Stuart and our 'hard-working man'. It is sad and painful when one (for whatever reason) is denied the opportunity to work to their fullest potential in an occupation of their choosing. Our society has most definitely moved in to the age of the knowledge worker. Crafts and handiwork (for many) have become hobbies, and many (including most country songwriters) lament this fact. What if, though, this change allows us (all of humanity) to steadily improve our intuitive, interpersonal communication skills, thus creating a universal synergy in which the transcendental whole is far greater than the sum of its individuals. What if with this synergy we can begin to advance on the intangible, ineffable, intuitive Truths that (acknowledged or not) each of us spend a Lifetime searching for. This was previously addressed in the post 'Global Happiness' from last March. The additional thought here (thanks to beer and Marty Stuart) is the recognition that for some hard work is defined as sweat-of-the-brow manual labor, and its application can be / is satisfyingly intuitive and spiritual. When one has too much 'time on their hands' words suddenly get in the way. Like it or not, the definition of hard work must change. Like it or not, throughout this Life many of us find ourselves booted from the path we were following, which leaves us (at least a little) lost and confused, forcing us to refocus and redefine. Some see the opportunity and some wander aimlessly. So for many, the question remains "What will become of the hard-working man?"

In this post we have transitioned from that which is intangible and ineffable to that which is empirical and consequential. If we indeed want to advance transcendentally / spiritually we cannot be too harsh. We cannot ignore Exoteric Goodness (as a vital component) by attributing the loss of handiwork/craft and its adherents/artisans as a price we must pay for progress. To ignore this impact would be adding both goodness and malevolence (see last week's post), and the goal is not to break even; the goal is to slide toward goodness.

I am not sure the answer; but I am confident that as a whole we could find a way to mitigate, minimize, or (possibly even) eliminate the malevolent fallout. In the meantime, as I am able, I will support local efforts toward handiwork and crafts. We cannot become so wrapped up in big picture perspectives that we forget about individuals. The 'greater good' is not necessarily the greater good.

Last week I wrote the following:

"(I believe) as individuals, we have the free will to choose which direction we stretch. (I believe) each individual choice toward Exoteric Goodness does not require an equal stretching toward its opposite, (intentional or unintentional malevolence), either by the individual or as a balancing of the whole; ('the whole' being all of humanity). (I believe) as a whole if we stretch toward Goodness, we will move the midpoint in that direction, thus maintaining balance, and changing interpretations. In this manner (I believe) we can eliminate some malevolence."

This week I want to think about malevolence, and determine if I really do believe we can eliminate some malevolence by adding Goodness. Or, if added Goodness simply creates new/different malevolence that we may not (yet) recognize as such, thus maintaining the original balance.

First, a definition for malevolence: actions, occurrences, or events that cause harm or injury to one's everyday (lower-case) happiness, or to one's search for (upper-case) Happiness. Malevolence can have unforeseen, lingering effects. I have previously defined lower-case happiness as everyday cheer and satisfaction, and upper-case Happiness as one's Lifelong search for unattainable Truth and Wisdom. If one's lower-case happiness is consistently thwarted, stunted, or non-existent this impacts upper-case Happiness.

Malevolence may come about as a result of (1) Purposeful Malice, (2) Ignorance (2a. Intentionally Oblivious Ignorance, 2b. Unintentionally Oblivious Ignorance, or 2c. Actively Acknowledged Ignorance), or (3) Acts of Nature, Lady Fortune, or God (depending upon your personal belief).

I would like to think that Purposeful Malice is rare, and limited to sociopaths or psychopaths. I would like to think that all other malevolence that originates from an individual or group of individuals is a function or result of free will choices that involve some aspect/degree of Ignorance and thereby potentially avoidable or mitigated by making better choices - choices that stretch us toward Exoteric Goodness.

I have in previous posts ('here' and 'here') divided Ignorance into two parts - Oblivious Ignorance and Acknowledged Ignorance. Here I am further dividing Oblivious Ignorance into that which is intentional and that which is unintentional; (the intention or lack of intention, of course, then carries over to the resulting malevolence).

Intentional Oblivious Ignorance that results in malevolence comes from those who truly know the potential result of their actions but drive ahead regardless, due to an individual or group agenda, an ego high on power and/or control, or other selfish justifications characterized by a 'greater good' mindset; (often believing the 'greater good' equates with 'what's best for ME'). Some would say that Intentional Oblivious Ignorance is very close to or (in some cases) the same as Purposeful Malice.

Unintentional Oblivious Ignorance that results in malevolence comes from those who truly do not understand the potential result or seriousness of their actions. These individuals do not understand for varying reasons, including but not limited to immaturity (bullying is an example), insecurity (that can lead to groupthink and defensiveness), narcissism, apathy, a subpar work ethic, a lack of critical thinking skills, illogic, excessive emotion, or any combination of these (and other) characteristics that then potentially exacerbate one another creating a multi-headed megalomaniac (often unknowingly) spewing malevolence in all directions.

Sometimes it is difficult to determine if an individual's Oblivious Ignorance is intentional or unintentional; especially when they are of the multi-headed variety. Sometimes (as the spewer) we learn and grow and understand, and then it becomes intentional; and not only too late for most of the already-spewed malevolence, but also very difficult to create new habits.

Typically a group agenda that results in malevolence requires one or more group members to be intentionally oblivious but many (and in some cases, most) group members may remain unintentionally oblivious. Indoctrination and zealotry can give one a sense of belonging, and those who are knowingly, intentionally oblivious take advantage.

In the aforementioned previous posts I identified acknowledged ignorance as preferable to oblivious ignorance. Here I am adding a qualifier to encourage actively acknowledged ignorance. If you know you don't know and ignore that fact, this creates some overlap between acknowledged ignorance and oblivious ignorance, thus potentially magnifying the impact of the resulting malevolence. Even actively acknowledged ignorance can result in malevolence in some circumstances, but due to the openness and compassion inherent in the active acknowledgment, the resulting malevolence is often mitigated in both seriousness and perseverance. I could provide examples, but logic dictates that if an individual is not certain of the 'best' course of action, mistakes are made and malevolence may result; and uncertainty is (or should be) a cornerstone of one's humanity.

This leaves acts, occurrences, or events whose origins are unidentifiable and result in malevolence. Be it nature, bad luck, or God it often seems we have no control over some circumstance. I would first challenge one to examine the circumstance (and one's personal actions leading to the circumstance) carefully to ensure that 'bad luck' is not (at least partially) one's own doing. Upon examination one should not regret or be too harsh, but we should learn and grow from the experience. If it is truly an unforeseen, (seemingly) uncaused or random event, such as a tornado or brand new brakes failing, it feels our only option is still to learn and grow from the experience; and most importantly, in either case, move on.

And now the big question - Can we eliminate some malevolence by adding Goodness, or does added Goodness simply create a new/different malevolence that we may not (yet) recognize as such, thus maintaining the original balance? An example - many people have benefited from antibiotics but there is some research that claims that antibiotics also kill good bacteria thereby potentially causing obesity, heart disease, and even cancer. An added Goodness (antibiotics) has potentially created some unforeseen, unintentional malevolence. Yet our average lifespan has increased partially due to the Goodness created by the antibiotic; but so (it seems) has our suffering. So we have to judge - did the midpoint slide (even slightly) toward Goodness, or is it an even trade? And if in this case it is deemed an even trade, is this the case every time? I would like to argue that it is not. Technology, for example, has provided ways to forewarn us of impending disasters such as hurricanes, typhoons, tsunamis, etc., thus saving lives. Technology has also built safer automobiles, again saving lives. But it was also that same (simpler, earlier) technology that has brought us to today where we lose (on average, in this country) 100 lives per day in auto crashes. And one could argue that the lives saved from hurricanes (or car crashes) go on to contribute to overpopulation, joblessness, and homelessness. Again, are these even trades, or are we slowly sliding toward greater Goodness?

It is a matter of perspective.

Is there a 'grand' balancing to ensure that the midpoint between Goodness and Malevolence remains stable and set? Ultimately, I am uncertain. Uncertainty is a cornerstone of Humanity. But, I still believe, as individuals we have the free will to choose which direction we stretch. And as long as that is true, I will choose to stretch toward (my understanding of) Exoteric Goodness. I will continue to act as if we will move the midpoint in that direction, thus maintaining balance, changing interpretations, and eliminating some malevolence. I am confident it will not hurt the big picture, and I feel it may help. And no one will convince me that I do not have the power to choose as I please.

Cold winds blow. When cold winds blow, do yours more often blow from your past, or from your future? It is in the moment they are felt; but from where do they originate? These are interesting questions and I believe the answers (at least partially) depend upon individual character, proclivities, and circumstances. I do not believe a cold wind originates in the moment, for the moment, and immediately dissipates, unless... unless it is the proverbial 'chill running down the spine' that is essentially indefinable and unidentifiable. I believe cold winds originate from past or future events and may gain, maintain, or lose momentum as they approach our moment. I believe we may hear their howling before they reach our moment, thereby warning us to hunker down and hold on. I believe once they reach our moment they may travel alongside, occasionally violating our inner sanctity with icy tendrils, and/or (infrequently) picking us up off our feet and carrying us along for a ways. Cold winds blow.

When cold winds blow, interpretations change. When pleasantly warm, tropical breezes blow, interpretations change. Warm tropical breezes cannot be contrived or imagined. Cold winds cannot (should not) be ignored. Cold winds can be perceived as refreshing. Warm breezes can be perceived as muggy. Cold winds typically trump warm breezes. Changing interpretations are often in the context of shifting perspective on consensus standards; (e.g. what was considered 'very good' is now merely'good' based on a new and improved 'very good'). In theory we can layer our interpretations infinitely close together, forever stretching further (in both directions) creating subtle distinction that enriches Life; (in practice, our Humanity imposes some constraints but I believe more so on the infinity component than on the directional component). (I believe) each individual choice toward Exoteric Goodness does not require an equal stretching toward its opposite, (intentional or unintentional malevolence), either by the individual or as a balancing of the whole; (the whole being all of humanity). (I believe) as a whole if we stretch toward Goodness, we will move the midpoint in that direction, thus maintaining balance, and changing interpretations. In this manner (I believe) we can eliminate some malevolence. (I believe) narcissism and bureaucracy detract from the nuance of Goodness but may add to the goodness of nuance, which is why these (and other) iniquities are (to varying degrees) an unavoidable, ingrained part of our humanity. We cannot define active, contributory joy and hope without debilitating despair; but we can choose our actions and reactions. We raise or lower the bar one choice at a time.

There is another wind that (on occasion) blows. This third wind is neither warm nor cold. This third wind is (on the whole) neither pleasant nor unpleasant; though depending on individual circumstance it can be disturbing and/or insightful. This third wind does not appear to come from the past or the future; the origin of this third wind is mysterious / unkown / esoteric and (I believe) personal and unique to each individual. This third wind may be an epiphanous result of fortuitous happenstance or focused study/meditation, or it may come in dream form. These esoteric currents may ebb and flow (seemingly) at random and without regard to other prevailing winds or breezes. Like the 'chill down the spine' this third wind transcends our verbal abilities, but may blow long and/or strong enough to elicit action/reaction. This third wind may impact interpretations, but due to its ineffability one must be wary of acting rashly on those interpretations.

Life is serious. As we make choices and raise or lower the bar, interpretations change, but unattainable Perfections will always remain - this is as it should be.

Q - What then must we do? A - More.

(1) Draw a circle (with a pencil), say, 5 inches in diameter. (2) Write your name, or simply 'ME' inside the circle, large enough to fill the circle. (3) Now carefully erase the circle, leaving 'you' and redraw the circle 10% larger. (4) Now erase your name/'ME'. Now repeat steps 2, 3, and 4... again... and again... and again... ad infinitum. This is what we must do.

The sum of all things is subtle; gradual. The components that make up that sum run the gamut from subtle to a punch in the mouth; or in the brain; or in the heart; or in the gut.

Surprise - Unpredictability - Randomness: these qualities create color, meaning, and three-dimensional growth. The illusion of control stifles and stymies. If Surprise, Unpredictability, and/or Randomness are contrived, they will feel contrived. Spontaneity is often contrived.

We do make comparisons. For the most part they are comfortable, nearby, empirical comparisons. Many of us avoid uncomfortable, large-scale comparisons. Many of us avoid serious, analytical, transcendental comparisons. When it comes to transcendental belief many of us will not wander far from the center-point of our circle. While we may stretch ourselves empirically, many of us stand firm transcendentally.

From Discomfortable Happiness:

"To advance empirically or transcendentally one must choose hardship by learning from the past, consulting with the future, and letting go of both (the past and the future) in order to decide and act in the moment in accordance with the highest ideals of (unattainable) perfection for whatever the challenge. Chasing Perfection is rife with adversity."

Continue to raise the bar and stretch your circle. If one falls too far inside oneself or ventures too far beyond oneself for too long, the subtlety is lost and we are in danger of losing our self.

Dead or dying flowers are a reminder.

"Sometimes a god comes. He brings a new way to do a thing, or a new thing to be done. A new kind of singing, or a new kind of death. He brings this across the bridge between the dream-time and the world-time. When he has done this, it is done. You cannot take things that exist in the world and try to drive them back into the dream, to hold them inside the dream with walls and pretenses. That is insanity. What is, is."
--from THE WORD FOR WORLD IS FOREST by Ursula K. LeGuin.

'Before' is dream-time. 'After' is world-time. 'Now' is not too late. Lost innocence and undiscovered beauty are lamentable. Uninhibited truthfulness applies to world-time. Pure innocence and unsullied beauty belong to dream-time, but can be intuited in world-time. To advance innocence and beauty requires focus on dream-time. To advance Truth, Wisdom, and (upper-case) Happiness requires focus on world-time; (though some may argue). You are a (lower-case) god, and capable of crossing (back and forth) over the bridge between the dream-time and the world-time. Inner peace comes from crossing (back and forth) over the bridge. Dream-time contains many polar opposites. Dark and Light are from dream-time; it is their respective shadow and reflection that are carried into world-time. Shadows in world-time can lengthen and acquire depth. Reflections in world-time can illuminate and acquire color. Shadows in world-time create a sense of foreboding. Reflections in world-time create a sense of lightness. Exoteric Goodness happens in world-time, but can be intuited in dream-time. Pain and adversity are felt in world-time and rewarded in dream-time. Sanity is determined by world-time. If dream-time (as the numerator) is larger than world-time (as the denominator) ... consider the result. You are a god, and capable of determining your own numerator and denominator. Anarchy works in dream-time. Bureaucracy began as a reflection but has been overtaken by shadows. The bridge will always be open and trafficking will always be active. On the bridge, there is no single point of perfect balance; it is different and constantly moving for each individual, and if multiple individuals share a point of perfect balance, it is purely coincidental. To traverse the bridge in either direction exacts a different toll from each individual; the toll is always paid in world-time. When in dream-time, we do not know. When in world-time we feel compelled to know. Words are unnecessary in dream-time. Words are overused in world-time. Dream-time is all about Humanity. World-time is all about me. World-time requires skepticism. Dream-time requires trust. To be a fool in dream-time will advance learning and growth. To be a fool in world-time risks ridicule and scorn. The 'time' in dream-time is an illusion. The 'time' in world-time is a force. It seems that I am more alone in dream-time, but (I believe) the reality is that I am more alone in world-time. Synergy and interdependence are learned in dream-time and applied in world-time. In dream-time, there is no place to hide. In world-time, there are many, many hiding places. 'Before' is dream-time. 'After' is world-time. 'Now' is not too late.