hopelesshappiness.com

The following paragraph is an excerpt from the work of fiction ‘Dark Eden’ by Chris Beckett; (the character is 15 year old John the day after he stood his ground and killed a leopard, when instead he could have easily hidden in a tree):

“You’re all of you hiding up in trees like Gerry did, I said in my head to all those friendly smiling people, and that’s the trouble with bloody Family. You eat and you drink and you slip and you quarrel and you have a laugh, but you don’t really think about where you’re trying to get to or what you want to become. And when trouble comes, you just scramble up trees and wait for the leopard to go away and then afterward giggle and prattle on for wakings and wakings about how big and scary it was and how it nearly bit off your toes, and how so-and-so chucked a bit of bark at it and whatshisname called out a rude name. Gela’s tits! Just look at you!”

Today the leopard may come because I call it. Tomorrow it may come of its own volition. Yesterday it managed to sneak up on me when my guard was down. Last week it fooled me into thinking it was my friend. Next week I may face it down and run it off. Last month I opened my arms and let it feed on me. This Summer I intend to track down the biggest one I can find and secretly observe it in its natural habitat, in the active hope that I may learn from it and spend less time giggling in the trees.

We will never be friends. No matter how many I kill, there will always be leopards. A leopard’s flesh is noxious and bitter. A leopard’s heart is nutritious and savory. Many will hide in the trees at the sight of a leopard – Some will hide in the trees at the sound of a leopard – A few will hide in the trees at the thought of a leopard – And a few of those, live in the trees.

There are some days when others perceive me as the leopard. On these days I must decide if I will chase them up the trees or simply sing my leopard song to let them know I am here. I must occasionally chase them up their trees so my leopard song will be heard. I must be wary though of other nearby leopards, and of the possibility that what I am chasing may turn out to be a larger leopard. There can only be one leopard in any given moment. Some days it is good to be the leopard.

There are some days when the leopard is inside me. On these days I must decide if I will smother it or leave it to run loose. If the leopard is inside me and I smother it quickly, very little changes. If the leopard is inside me and I let it run, I may learn and grow. The longer I allow the leopard to run inside me, the greater the learning and the greater the possibility it will escape … and then what? If it escapes from inside me, this would be a different leopard than the one that sings and chases others up their trees. This would be a leopard that could as easily turn on me. This would be a leopard that can climb trees. This would be a leopard singing a song of incendiary dissonance. When the leopard is inside me – before it escapes – I must smother it.

Many, many years ago leopards could only sing. Recently leopards have learned to laugh. Many, many years ago most leopards were brightly colored and sang proudly. Today more and more leopards blend into their surroundings and their song can be indiscernibly hypnotic. Many, many years ago our time spent hiding in the trees was considered a sad, but necessary, part of Life. Today, many of us passively accept this time in the trees as normal, often oblivious to the fact that we are even hiding; and those who don’t realize they are hiding are generally more susceptible to the siren song of this new breed of leopard. Many, many years ago most leopards knew they were leopards. Today, more and more leopards believe they are saviors.

I cannot think about where I am trying to get to or what I want to become if I am hiding in a tree. To seek Truth and Wisdom – one must acknowledge the leopards; one must recognize the leopards; one must learn from the leopards; one must live with the leopards; and some days, one must be the leopard. To study the leopard, brings forth Wisdom. The closer one comes to the leopard, the closer one comes to Truth. To glimpse the leopard’s hidden beauty, engenders Peace. And to experience the symbiotic tug between the leopard and its prey, feels a little like (I would imagine) Happiness might feel.

When you meet someone for the first time and ask, "What do you do?" what are you really asking? "What purpose do you serve??" - "Are you a useful member of society??" - "Should I talk to you??" - "Are you worthy??" Or is it truly and simply a conversation starter? But even then, when our intent is innocent and honorable, can one help but to draw conclusions based on the answer?

Carefully consider the following responses to the question "What do you do?" and honestly gauge your instinctive reaction, paying particular attention to the mental image that comes to mind.

"I am a doctor."

"I work at McDonald's."

"I am a writer."

"I am a teacher."

"I am an actor."

"I am unemployed and homeless."

"I am President of a bank."

"I am in construction."

"I am in retail."

"I work for the government."

"I am between jobs."

"I am a police officer."

"I am a church pastor."

"I am on disability."

"I am a philanthropist."

"I am a waitress."

"I am a student."

It is easy to attach one's purpose with 'what they do', but is it accurate? Is it fair? Or is it simply a shortcut allowing us to judge and compartmentalize so we may move on with our own busy life? It is hard work to know what one does and not judge them by it. It is often hard work to even acknowledge that another may not be as we see them. These types of exercises are not new and (for me) this exercise and others like it clearly indicate the ease with which we stereotype; and its complete lack of accuracy and fairness. And anyone who claims that 'stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason' is contributing to the self-fulfilling prophecy that they become.

But what if the Bank President truly claims to be a Bank President? What if their spouse, family, and friends confirm a consistent persona / identity from work to home to social situations to even their hopes and dreams (sleeping and awake)? I have seen this, and though I cannot speak to the prevalence, from personal experience (in hindsight), it is sad. When one stereotypes oneself, we are unfair to our self and (potentially) to others by judging who we are by what we do, and by applying behaviors suitable for one realm to another.

But ... (some may ask) ... what about crossover traits? What about those characteristics suitable to both what we do and who we are? And I agree. There are some human currencies (see this post and this post) that are indeed beneficial to both. But there are also some expressions of character that are typically not suitable for a casual or first-time encounter, or for the large majority of workplace encounters. Two come immediately to mind: (1) personal spirituality, and (2) counterpart currencies described in this aforementioned post as "including fear, manipulation, disrespect, distrust, cruelty, indifference, disdain, insensitivity, avoidance, scorn, rejection, and the seven (pride, anger, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, and sloth) deadly sins." I believe these two personal expressions are not only unavoidable aspects of one's Humanity, but also critical to 'who we are'. So this means if relationship and circumstance are suitable to allow one to preach personal faith, God, or religion, they should also allow another to brag about drunken exploits, sexual conquests, and other personal excess. Both personal spirituality and counterpart currencies are statements of character that some (including myself) consider private, (at least partially) due to their esoteric nature. Some may argue this point, (especially in the case of personal spirituality), but remember that I am saying these personal expressions are typically not suitable for a casual or first-time encounter, or for the large majority of workplace encounters; the flip side being that they are encouraged as relationships develop and grow, and (I believe) they are mandatory for personal encounters with oneself. Yet still, if we become so wrapped up in what we do, we may disregard these other critical aspects and we may forget who we are.

It is obvious (to me) that I should differentiate between what I do and who I am, though what I do will always have some impact on who I am, and in ideal circumstances who I am should also impact what I do. What is not so obvious is how to avoid superficially judging others. Perhaps "What do you do?" is not the best question for a casual encounter. Yet "What purpose do you serve?" which is the least confrontational of the other questions presented in the first paragraph, is still confrontational. Some other questions that come to mind (such as "what do you hope to accomplish in your time allotted here on Earth?") are probably too deep and invasive for these casual / first-time encounters and most workplace encounters.

So here are some alternatives in the form of 3 'Perhaps': Perhaps #1 - perhaps one should completely avoid the "What do you do?" question and first search for common ground; not by asking what books / movies / TV you have read / seen, but instead by asking have you read / seen... and then naming something of personal interest. The same method can apply to food, drink (coffee / beer / wine), music, sport, hobbies, games, etc. Perhaps #2 - when asked "What do you do?" perhaps one should answer it in an unexpected way such as, "Whatever I feel like" or "With an eye to the future, I learn from the past, to live in the moment." And then follow up quickly with a playful "What do you do?" Perhaps #3 - perhaps instead of "What do you do?" one should ask "Who are you?" and when the other party responds with their name and you have politely reciprocated, inquisitively ask "but who are you at your very best?" This will hopefully encourage (at least) a moment of thoughtful consideration, yet still can be answered simply (ex. 'a parent') without seeming to pry. (Once a relationship has developed - such as the relationship one has with oneself - we should flip the question and ask "Who are you at your very worst?").

Even when these options are exercised, at some point the "What do you do?" topic will come up, and it is still likely to have some impact on one's judgment of another, regardless of the foundation that has been built. And this is the real crux of what I have been thinking about this week; (and it only took about 1000 words). It is not only the question "What do you do?" (or "What did you do?") that has troubled me this week, but also the corollary questions "How did you do it?" - "Why did you do it?" - "Do you think I can/should do it?" - "What should you have done?" - "What should you have not done?" - "Why didn't you do (this)?"

With very few (if any) exceptions, each one of us experience Life's ups and downs in various ways, for varying lengths of time, and we each react / respond differently to these changes and challenges. When we know someone well, we have probably seen them close to or at their very best, and we have probably seen them close to or at their very worst. I have observed a human tendency to sometimes focus on another's very best traits and characteristics when they are 'up' and their very worst traits and characteristics when they are 'down'; (I am guilty). Perhaps this is indicative of our need for free will and control, helping us to rationalize another's good fortune or to explain the 'spot they've put themselves in'. But it also depends on circumstance. If we feel the circumstance is beyond their control (such as sudden, unexpected good fortune, wealth, illness, or accident), this tendency should not apply; though it may manifest itself as fear or envy.

My question is, does this make sense? Shouldn't we turn this around? When someone is down, shouldn't we work at building them up by reminding them of themselves at their very best. I believe we may often do this especially at the onset of a Life challenge. But if this challenge is prolonged... what then? And sometimes, even at the onset, we may be sincerely encouraging to the individual, but focusing our inner thoughts on what they could have, should have, etc. - in other words, we focus on their worst traits when they are down; and I believe this insincerity is, on some level, discernible. Additionally, as a difficult or challenging situation continues, it is also common to be less and less encouraging (which is perceived as discouraging), and it is not uncommon to share this 'focus on worst traits' with others. It is easy to remember the good in someone when Life is good. It is also easy for some of the aforementioned corollary questions to crowd out those memories of 'good' when Life takes a downturn. This applies to oneself as well as to others, and can (in either case) initiate and perpetuate a downward spiral that becomes more and more difficult to overcome, bringing us back to the self-fulfilling prophecy of stereotypes; (i.e. 'You are a failure').

It is difficult to avoid thinking 'could have / should have' and it is difficult to not voice opinions and advice; but when someone is down (our self or another) perhaps one should simply ask "Who are you at your very best?" in the active hope that we can know that, and hang on...

"Who are 'You' at 'your' very best?"

Last week I discovered a renewed, streamlined Purpose having shed the heft of heavy garments worn to protect me from (what I had perceived as) the cold indifference of other's judgments. I discovered that these judgments (that I believed were cold) were (for the most part) simply an apathetic narcissism on their part combined with a narcissistic uncertainty on my part. Our Humanity dictates a certain level of self-interest to protect and advance one's personal well being, but if one is careless this self-interest may bruise and swell, becoming narcissism.

These thoughts have led me to a better understanding of the purpose of Purpose. Purpose is defined as 'a reason for existence' and also as 'an intended result, aim, or goal' which illustrates how it serves to layer an hour within a day within a month within a year within a decade within a Lifetime within a moment; the most important of these (perceived) time frames, being the moment. I have frequently said, in various ways, one should learn from the past and look to the future to live in the moment. The moment is also the focus of meditation, and (I believe) a key to Inner Peace.

Movement, synonymous with progress or forward movement, is often associated with Happiness. I believe 'forward movement' is redundant in that any movement (that does no harm) is progress. A lack of movement leads to stagnation, making growth impossible. It is up to the individual to determine the line between stagnation and progress. And this line is the minimum standard from which one derives Purpose.

If you imagine this line stretching in both directions further than you can see, this leaves innumerable possibilities for forward movement resulting in growth and helping one to find Purpose. Last week I said that 'intuition is why we pursue Happiness to begin with', and I believe it is also intuition that will lead us to our proper place (or at least its neighborhood) at the starting line that divides stagnation and progress. The starting gun was fired long ago.

In the previous post 'Knowing Unknowable Happiness' I defined and described 'Intuition' as follows:

Intuition is defined as 'direct perception of truth independent of any reasoning process'.

Intuition occurs in that magical (mystical) moment when one has transcended a particular aspect or (in rare moments) the whole of oneself, but has not yet consciously realized it. In this moment, there are no words. Once the moment becomes tangible (known), the magic is gone; and we cannot re-mystify the mundane. Through words though, we can (and do) glorify these leaps that (we feel) pull magic from beyond. These leaps and the effort expended are 'learning', and this magic made tangible becomes personal growth. 'Learning and Growth' is important and (in a worldly sense) magical, but still, once words are applied...

Intuition also occurs when one transcends, yet never consciously realizes it. This intuition (I believe) is/(is not) identifiable as a teasing vexation that resonates yet is easily ignored or dismissed. This intuition is like a beautiful butterfly seen fleetingly, yet not captured, pinned down (with words), and put on display. This intuition is elusive, therefore thought by some to also be illusive. This intuition is encouraged by solitude, thoughtful reflection, Love, pain, work, and Goodness; but this intuition can also stop us in our tracks on a crowded sidewalk, or in the middle of a busy workday, or (most rewarding) in the middle of a meaningful conversation, but we only stop momentarily, pause to look all around, and wonder "What was That?" This intuition is fleeting, unknown, and yet, somehow, known.

I think it is important to connect Intuition and Purpose. I look around and too often see one's Purpose dictated by circumstance and/or (worse yet) a parent, a mentor, or an influential other. I have been guilty of dispensing strong advice. Regardless of how one is led astray, and regardless of the circumstantial necessity that may result, one can still follow their gut/heart/spirit to find personal, intuitive Purpose. It is hard work and as discussed last week it will likely not lead to widespread or content-specific validation, but as I am learning, it can lead to personal fulfillment. A simple respect and tolerance is all that is needed from others. The Purpose is mine; and my intuition (as an often-overlooked, vital aspect of my internal essence) has led me here.

The light spread, suddenly. It took many years though for a full appreciation. It began from above and behind as a warm, luminous glow with occasional hazy, humid patches, ultimately graduating to a few silky, white clouds surrounded by seas of brightening blue and the mellifluous bird calls and whistles that accompany good weather. Once the peaceful elements settled in comfortably, the serenity of the sun and sky surrounded all sides like a circle of big fluffy cat tails, creating a pleasant patch of hopeful confidence from where all horizons presented the same promising, ethereal shining closing in not only from all directions, but each distant ray of sun also reaching its radiant fingers overhead in search of its fellow celebrants.

A look at the ground revealed green grass and gentle, rolling hills as far as one could see. On sturdy legs I quickly navigated the solid, narrow path that pledged to keep me safe avoiding hazards and treachery lurking in the infrequent shadows that appeared more flirtatious than dangerous, threatening no more than a slight setback or delay. A veridical rolling righteousness I thought would endlessly carry me through the pastoral countryside of my blissful existence.

It is hard to ignore these blessings intent on soothing the senses - the surrounding harmonious resplendence from above and beyond, and the hypnotic, softly-swaying rhythm from below; it leaves me comfortable and complacent.

A look at my thoughts revealed room for expansion; an opportunity to learn and grow; a chance to explore the shadows and escape the quiescence. I immersed myself in poetry, and literature, and history, and philosophy, and music, and spirituality. I learned to doubt and to ask lots of questions. I found answers that led to more questions that led to more doubt that led to more searching. I found complexity that simplified, and I intuited an unreachable depth that goes on forever. I embraced Dark to better know Light. I discovered the value of work, and I rediscovered the value of Goodness. And once or twice I found an inner peace that validated pain and adversity.

Today, a look into my center reveals active hope tempered by reality. I must acknowledge the current sunshine, warmth, brightening sky, narrow path, and lambency from above, and I must respond by increasing my efforts. I must continue to learn and grow. Thus far I have explored the shadows and I have a newfound urgency; and I feel comfort transitioning to productive vexation. I intend for this journey to grow more arduous. I intend to expand uncertainty which (in theory) will push me to continue searching ...

Today, after several years of considering happiness (and Happiness) I realize two things:

1. I was beyond naive when I first began to seriously contemplate happiness.
2. I am still wide-eyed and gullible in the process of searching for Happiness, if it even exists, and no matter the definition.

Throughout this site I have frequently, rather definitively, claimed that (upper-case) Happiness revolves around one's search for Truth and Wisdom, and (lower-case) happiness refers to everyday cheerfulness and satisfaction. As I write this, I strongly believe it is necessary to continue to differentiate between the two; but I am re-examining the concept to come to a deeper understanding that will perhaps lessen the jarring aspect of the dissonance experienced in the search. I am looking for new thought. And at this moment, this is one of those posts where I will likely ramble some because I have no preconceived notion as to the direction my written thought will take me. The only new thought I have had thus far is that I am looking for new thought.

I first began to seriously consider happiness about the time I first noticed its elusiveness. As I evolved (from precocious and confident to uncertain and angry) I knew I had lost some innocence and began to search for Truth and Wisdom; (though I'm not sure I realized that is what I was doing at the time). I began with happiness gurus, prize-winning fiction, and poetry. I eventually discovered that much of the 'happiness craze' was a delusional scheme, so I added history and philosophy, and found connections from there to (my life-long love of) music, and ultimately spirituality. I am still largely naive and innocent and I am still uncertain and angry, but my naivete is recognized and welcome, and my anger is more focused and productive. So though I continue to evolve, much of my (tongue-in-cheek) 'esteemed and noble' search for Truth and Wisdom remains in the context of happiness (and/or Happiness), because that is still the Holy Grail.

When I questioned above if happiness even exists, I do not believe I meant as an Ideal or Perfection. There are many concepts (such as Truth, Wisdom, Beauty, and Love) that have an unattainable Ideal, and (if it exists) so too does Happiness. What I think I was really (subconsciously?) asking is - Is Happiness or happiness even possible? Or is it a phantom concept that is not simply unattainable, but actually non-existent? Even by its lower-case definition? Or maybe, especially by its lower-case definition? Are those seemingly happy (cheerful, satisfied) people really happy? Or is happiness delusional? In this post three weeks ago I made the case that many emotions can easily carry one into what many would define as abnormal behavior. There are some who define happiness as an emotion. Could it be that (lower-case) happiness is a disease? Does a manic-depressive simply act out more emotional instances of happiness and despair (i.e. a recognition of reality)? If the further ends of this 'reality' spectrum indicate a pathology, then is the entire spectrum an abnormal response to Life? Should we stop pursuing happiness? Why do we pursue it to begin with?

I have spent the last day considering this 'Reality Spectrum' where the left end is 'Deep Despair' and the right end is 'Frenzied Joy' and I ask why in some historical eras the norm was slightly left of center (a harsh reality perspective) while in other eras such as the Enlightenment leading up to Today, the norm is firmly right of center (an 'I deserve happiness' perspective)? This thought has led me to ask - Where is (lower-case) happiness on this spectrum? Is it dead center? If it is dead center, how do we agree on dead center? Or is it a moving target that takes other circumstance (and spectrums) into account? And if it is a moving target, does this then discredit the (happiness guru) claim of 'positive mental attitudes' and 'you too can be happy'? These happiness schemes only seem to work if we train ourselves to ignore surrounding circumstance. I can't do that. I am left of center on this spectrum and I believe it is a moving target. These thoughts have brought me to realize that this is not really pertinent to (upper-case) Happiness nor is it the new thought I am looking for. I say that, still not knowing exactly what I am looking for.

That last sentence could also apply to one's search for Happiness. If one drills down far enough we find that happiness/Happiness is often (if not always) the final factor encouraging specific actions and behaviors;(we work for money to provide comfort to be happy; we make friends, marry, have families to provide comfort and validation, to be happy; we learn and grow to find fulfillment to improve quality of life to be happy); yet we keep searching. Even those who claim a (pathologically delusional?) consistent happiness don't just stop working toward (or at least passively hoping for) a greater happiness. As stated above, Happiness is the Holy Grail and (too) many of us too-readily, too-passively accept and go along with any proposition that promises to fill us with the spirit of Happiness, and then because we are told we are happy, we believe. These thoughts are not new thoughts.

We have now clearly moved into the realm of (upper-case) Happiness.

I still maintain that Happiness is defined as one's search for Truth and Wisdom and (agreeing with some of History's great thinkers) that Happiness can only be judged at the end of one's Life. I have spent considerable effort examining how one can (should?) go about this search, including the Periodic Happiness Table of Elements, an acknowledgement of reality by embracing the Dark and the Light, knowing pain and adversity, Exoteric Goodness, Inner Peace, the Why-Cycle, and choosing work over sloth. These all address Life on this empirical plane, though some of these human qualities (such as Exoteric Goodness) can also serve as a conduit or bridge to a transcendent spirituality. So perhaps the new thought I am looking for is not of this world; and since I have no access to (or certainty of) other worlds or lives beyond this one, perhaps I need to look within.

I do this frequently, but perhaps I am not looking in the right places.

Or perhaps I am looking too hard.

Are there more answers to be found through meditation and Inner Peace? These are areas that must be valid and important, but I have not explored meditation or pursued Inner Peace with the vigor I have given to other areas. The closest I come to a meditative state is when I am able to lose myself in music, and it seems I only trip over Inner Peace when it gets in my way. Meditation seems detached from empirical reality, Inner Peace seems to hinder serious, productive thought, and I am looking for connections leading to growth; these (perceived) factors inhibit my interest. Perhaps this is worth further exploration, but obviously not doable in the next 48 hours. This is a new thought, but one I must put on a shelf for the moment.

Human Interaction is another area that I am not as active in as I could be. This is partly because serious human interaction is difficult. It is difficult in that casual contact, and/or human contact that has time constraints, often does not allow for serious thought-sharing; it is also difficult because many of us prefer happiness over Happiness; and even if we get over these hurdles, it is simply difficult to execute gracefully. Is this elitist thought? When I look within do I see some arrogance? Perhaps I should make a greater effort to build relationships in a way that will enhance both happiness and Happiness. Patience is not my strong suit. While not a new thought, this should be a renewed thought.

I am freestyling now.

What else do I see within?

I see a serious attempt at uninhibited truthfulness with myself, to the extent that one can be truthful to oneself and remain functional. And (in the interest of uninhibited truthfulness with myself) I see a very human need for validation; of late I feel others may see me as rudderless and a little lost. And perhaps I am. I feel the learning and growth I am experiencing (some of which I have shared on this site) is valid and important, but I have not received confirmation of this from anyone; and in fairness, I have not asked. These are not new thoughts; but could either one be a springboard to new thoughts?

Re-reading that last paragraph, I sound somewhat self-pitying, yet I cannot deny my humanity. When I began this web site more than two-and-a-half years ago, I initially included 'Purpose' along with 'Truth and Wisdom' as an integral component of one's search for Happiness. As my thoughts evolved, 'Purpose' became less significant for two reasons: (1) I did not feel the need to justify what I deemed important; and (2) I believed Purpose required (at least in part) a judgment passed down by either an ego high on power and control or a majority opinion skewed by the media-driven, narcissistic consumerism so unnecessarily prevalent today. I should care less... Right? Yet, I do. I think we all care, and without some validation for one's perceived Purpose, it is only natural to become discouraged.

But ...

...justification is a defensive stance and ...validation does not have to be content-specific. In other words, a simple respect and tolerance for what I do is validation and I now realize my attempt to justify was for my own benefit. If one day any specific example of my learning and growth as written thought is in any way substantiated... okay; but until then I should simply keep on. My projected need for self-justification and content-specific validation has grown less urgent.

Could this ('Purpose') be the new thought I am looking for? A thought that I considered and tossed aside more than two years ago and have now reworked to eliminate (or at least reduce) the defensive anger? A thought that originates from my gut as an ineffable grasp of our shared humanity? After all, how many of us really do receive widespread recognition and validation for what we do and who we are? From my perspective (which is firmly grounded in doubt and uncertainty), respect and tolerance for others is a given; and I can only actively hope that those who do not practice a mutual respect and tolerance will either one day understand its importance or simply not care enough to negatively impact / harm those of us who do. It is this active hope that drives my serious nature and my written thought. I do care, and perhaps one day this Purpose will have a positive impact beyond 'me'.

So for the most part it feels like I am fiddling with knobs and dials that are already in place. Granted, some of them in new combinations and from a new perspective, but still... Reviewing:

1. I will dial up a renewed sense of Purpose from within, tuning it to a mutual respect and tolerance, and I will decrease the volume on concern over self-justification and high-handed judgments;
2. I will increase the volume and frequency on human Interactions allowing relationships to develop through mutual experience; and
3. I will unbox meditation, read the instructions, and perhaps find a connection to Inner Peace and from there to Happiness.

At the beginning of this post I asked a lot of questions in rapid-fire succession; some I answered and some were rhetorical. There are two I want to come back to and answer:

1. Should we stop pursuing happiness? - No!
2. Why do we pursue it to begin with? - Intuition. Because we cannot state exactly what we are looking for, we also cannot state why we are looking for it, nor can we stop looking, though we likely will never find it ...(in this lifetime).

Our Purpose is to search for happiness and/or Happiness. It is up to each individual to define the parameters of that search. This week (for me) I clarified some issues, fine-tuned some concepts, and redefined some parameters. I did not find new thought on new concepts, but I did progress by finding new (evolved) thought on preexisting considerations. I am happy (note the lower-case) with my progress.