Perhaps we are arbitrary because it helps us to deny that we are pedestrian, mundane, ordinary, commonplace, humdrum, plodding, stodgy, unimaginative, mediocre, dull, plain, simple, generic, unremarkable, quotidian, unmemorable, average, everyday, prosaic, ignorant; and lonely. We work so hard to not be these things, we work so hard to prove to others that we are not these things, and in this hard-working waywardness we maintain and perpetuate existing conventions and power structures constantly reminding the hired help that they are all these things. And yet, despite how hard we work, in the end we are all (each and every one) exactly all these things.
There will always be hired help; someone else to whom one can condescend.
I might argue that it is impossible to graciously condescend. I believe that to condescend must be a conscious act because to feel important is a conscious state of mind. I also believe that no single individual is any more or any less necessary than any other single individual. One can be individually important in a specific circumstance and can even force their will / importance in a power dynamic. To be more important is to create more consequence. To be necessary is to be indispensable. And considering the entirety, (past, present, and future), of Humanity, how can one individual be any more or any less indispensable than another? Indispensability is an absolute. So accepting this differentiation between important and necessary, by definition, to condescend is to consciously stoop or lower one's self to the level of another and if it is a conscious act, signals are sent that it is a pretentious act From an important person. The sadness in this dynamic is that the individual being condescended to must, in most cases, be gracious in their appreciation thus reversing the flow and allowing the pretentiousness to be interpreted as graciousness further stabilizing and substantiating the existing power structure.
I have previously suggested that in any process to reduce arbitrary suffering, one must avoid “the siren call of one's ego.” One must also let go of one’s ego to admit to one's mediocrity; obedience; insignificance. I believe one can and should seek excellence in circumstance understanding that the effort is individual and does not, should not, come at the expense of the hired help.
This past week at work, in a new position, I was asked to attend a meeting alongside directors and department heads not for any value in any potential contributions I may have added to the proceedings but to help set up the food ahead of time and to clean up afterwards. I was firmly reminded of my place. Power is a zero sum equation reeking of ego. This was not a surprise but I believe in an environment where one is required to pinch pennies, cost should not justify borrowing and using hired help of one sort or classification or category to an end that merely stabilizes or substantiates existing power structures. In this case I maintain the hired help should not have been invited. And for those who would hold up the “other duties as assigned” requirement as justification, I would answer in two parts:
- That is the very definition of arbitrary; and
- You're missing the point, that point being the delineation, not the task.
I would have come away with a completely different impression and interpretation if all the directors and department heads had pitched in equally. The task itself was not in any way difficult or taxing or demeaning. But no. There was a very clear and definite line drawn between the hired help and the wheels, making me believe that the directors and the department heads would have found it demeaning. As said, it was not a surprise but a disappointment nonetheless.