- Nine weeks ago I discovered some inconsistencies in the calculation of admissions data.
- I found that for 62.8% of the 129 applicants, the result matched pre-calculated Formula A exactly.
- I found that for 24.0% of the 129 applicants, the result matched pre-calculated Formula B exactly.
- I found no pre-calculated Formula for 13.2% of the 129 applicants.
- For more than five weeks now, you have consistently stated that Formula C was used to calculate 100% of the 129 applicants.
- I have not seen Formula C, yet you ask me to have faith. You ask me to believe in Formula C even though Formulas A and B (accounting for 86.8% of the rankings) are the most logical explanation for the rankings.
- If the most logical explanation is true---if we used this blend of Formulas A and B along with some randomly assigned numbers and/or a yet-to-be-disclosed Formula C---(to be blunt) we have either stupidly or purposefully manipulated the data.
- I don't believe the responsible parties are stupid.
- And you still ask me to believe in Formula C.
How can I not feel like I am being showered with shrapnel and told it is a full-body massage?
Question: What is Formula C?
If you are able to show me Formula C and I see that it is a 100% consistent match with the 129 rankings, then I will let this go and move on. But in this scenario I would also appreciate some understanding. Given the logic of the bullet points above, I believe it is apparent why I have felt personally affronted and why I have reacted with anger and sadness. Yet I would still love to see a Formula C that works. Despite my skeptical nature, I really want to believe.
If however, you are unable to show me a consistent match with Formula C, then I have another question:
- Is there a way to move on that
- Serves justice, and
- Is mutually beneficial.
I don't believe I will be allowed to ask or pursue answers to the question above. In this circumstance you appear to be confusing transparency with invisibility. Mutual beneficence (from where I sit) must include a plan for verifiable and measurable progress, and necessary checks and balances to prevent future malfeasance, and you have already told me that I am not allowed to see your concept of justice. I believe you intend to kill the messenger so you are able to live more comfortably in your Fairy Tale.
Don't get me wrong, I like Fairy Tales; especially those that end “Happily ever after...” But in this moment I believe what is logical. No, I don't like messiness; or sharp points, or jagged edges. But I do understand that without these difficulties, Fairy Tale Moments would not be possible, and I do believe in Fairy Tale Moments knowing that they are truly momentary.
In this moment I believe that Formula C is a Fairy Tale Moment that is being stretched and puffed up and polished and decorated to be comfortable and to look pretty. I believe Formula C is a Fairy Tale Moment that some of us are holding onto for dear life. But like every moment, you will ultimately have to let go.
I have come to the realization, (which when stated, seems obvious), that justice is also momentary. Justice is specific to a particular moment and its circumstance. When I move on from this fight for justice, I will come across another injustice that will create another opportunity for momentary justice. There will always be an opportunity for another fight for justice. If I am discouraged by this, and give up the fight, simply because it is never-ending, then I will be relegated to stretching and puffing and polishing and decorating. Today I look around and I see a lot of stretching and puffing and polishing and decorating. Today I look around and I see a lot of believers.
Justice does not always penetrate the stretchy, puffy, polished armor of Fairy Tale Moments. Yet I still believe in justice. Though it is only momentary, if I work very hard at it---if we work very hard at it---perhaps we can string together enough moments of justice to feel a sort-of continuity; which might in turn feel like a sort-of herky-jerky authentic Fairy Tale. Whereas if we allow injustice to predominate, we will be stuck stretching an inauthentic Fairy Tale Moment; and hanging on for dear life.
We will be stuck citing a sunny day as proof that the climate is as healthy as it has ever been.