This feels like a short post but it is important in that it reflects my thought process leading to a decision that will significantly change my day-to-day circumstance.

NOTES:

• Option 1: Don’t Quit.
• Option 2: Quit.

If I choose Option 1:

1. I am not being truthful with others.
2. Others may be harmed by my actions; (I do not want to negatively impact others).
3. I will continue to feel under-utilized and at times accommodated (or even demeaned), possibly leading to a growing resentment. I recognize these feelings as prideful, but I’m not certain I can consistently rise above them.
4. I am not walking my talk.
5. I am playing it safe.

If I choose Option 2:

1. I am being truthful with others.
2. If there is harm it will likely be short term; to think otherwise would be prideful. (The reality is that the others that may be harmed do not include family or lifelong friends; and any potential harm is not overt or intentional, and it is not physical harm.)
3. I will likely continue to feel under-utilized because that appears to be my natural state on many paths, but resentment will be potentially curbed, at least for a time.
4. I am standing on my principles of Goodness and Productive / Efficient Creativity.
5. I may be personally harmed – (from currently simmering in the frying pan to rolled in breading and tossed into the deep fryer); or I may personally benefit – (frying pan to renewable resource); or I may continue to simmer, just in a different frying pan.

FURTHER NOTES:

• Option 2A: Flexible Notice that I am seeking another job and will leave on a mutually agreeable future date.
• Option 2B: Two Weeks Notice upon obtaining another job.

If I choose Option 2A:

• I am being completely open and truthful.

If I choose Option 2B:

• I am being selfish; or (in a kinder light) I am practicing self-preservation in order to increase the potential likelihood of becoming a renewable resource.

END OF NOTES

It is an altogether pleasant morning. Not hot enough for my liking but most would say it is agreeable. I am relaxed, my hands are trembling, there’s a freight train bearing down on me, and for the moment all is good. I am smiling.

It is a good time to objectively consider all the relevant entanglements impacting a looming decision.

At first I thought the choice between Option 1 and Option 2 was a choice that would require me to compromise one of two principles; the principles being (1) Do No Harm, and (2) Promoting Productive / Efficient Creativity. After thinking it through and studying the subsequent notes above, I have discovered that the harm will be short term and any pain (if there is any pain) may actually work toward the second principle. What the choice really boils down to is me playing it safe vs. me taking principled action. When I look at it in these (objectively truthful) terms it is obvious (at least to me) which one I ‘should’ choose, yet my humanity demands a respect for fear of the unknown.

I have recognized and acknowledged the fear, but because these circumstances do not appear to involve any physical or long-lasting harm, I believe I will choose Option 2.

This creates another looming decision.

After again thinking it through and reviewing my ‘further notes’ (also above), this choice between Option 2A and Option 2B appears to be a question of ‘being open and truthful’ vs. ‘selfishness’ or (in a kinder light) ‘self-preservation’. Being open and truthful wins out over selfishness, but if self-preservation truly increases a likelihood of creating a renewable resource situation (as opposed to simple short-term sustenance), then I need to consider this option. If I opt to see Option 2B as self-preservation, then I need to gauge this actual likelihood; and based on the past (which is supposed to be a good predictor of the future) I would put that likelihood at approximately 10 to 20 percent.

So now I have to judge if (even a) 20% chance of becoming a renewable resource is worth compromising my need to be open and truthful with others; and when I see it in these terms, the principle of truthfulness wins out. I will choose Option 2A.

Thank you for listening.