Exposing Happiness

I have come to think of active humility as confident uncertainty - One must know when and what they don't know, acknowledge how little they do know, be truthful with oneself and with others, and seek possible answers. As frequently stated, I don't believe we will find an ultimate Truth, but I do believe we can search and move in that direction.

I originally started this post by asking - How does one verbally encourage humility without sounding self-righteous, bitter, divisive, or full of crap? But after puzzling over this question for a day or so, I realize that I have been confusing humility with an arrogant speciousness masquerading as humility - (of which I am guilty); and also with simple feelings of insignificance or inadequacy - (which is not humility, but an enervating ambiguity). With this (seemingly small but critically significant) epiphany, I now feel we can verbally encourage humility by explaining the value of confident uncertainty (learning, growth, trust, respect, progress, truthfulness, Happiness...) as opposed to my normal method of encouraging humility by excoriating Pride (the mother of all sin) and its direct descendants (Ignorance, Fear of Failure, Quiescence, Conformity, Arrogance, Indifference, the Enmity of Us and Them, Narcissism, and Contempt). While our nature may at times dictate a spirited or vengeful denunciation in the course of one's search for Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness, any criticism (constructive or otherwise) can also come across as sounding self-righteous, bitter, divisive, and/or full of crap.

Recently I was at a graduation party and a notebook was passed around where we were asked to write a question for the new graduate. In my arrogant speciousness I wrote "Humility or Confidence?" This question at its best is incomplete, and at its worst is misleading. Humility and Confidence are not opposites. The opposite of Humility is Arrogance and the opposite of Confidence is Uncertainty. And of course any of these four qualities could just be a veiled pretense put on to cover one's birthmarks and scars. As the question was presented ("Humility or Confidence?") one is persuaded to equate Confidence with Arrogance. A better question would have been to ask for a definition of Humility and/or to explain its relationship to (or with) Confidence.

If I were of a cynical nature, at this point I might concede the logic of valuing sincere Humility, but I might also ask - How can one be certain of another's sincerity? I might ask this because... A) Some people are quite good at arrogant speciousness, and B) Some people are sincere but delusional; and if we are going with a working definition of Humility as 'Confident Uncertainty' even the tiniest delusional crumb invalidates the probity of one's sincerity and thereby erodes trust. And this opens up another avenue of questioning and that is How do we determine what is and is not delusional thought? A simple majority will too likely be a vocal majority, and empirical determination would likely leave out meaningful ethical, emotional, and transcendental considerations. Delusional determinations would come down to (and actually have come down to) arguments amongst individuals over gaps and unknowns and systems of belief all of which are unprovable. Many individuals simply avoid discussion or argument by seeking the ease and comfort of other like-minded thinkers and/or inspirational dogma. But as I said, I would only question one's sincerity if I were inclined toward cynicism.

So, if we acknowledge the value of confident uncertainty, and if we acknowledge that every one of us is in some way(s) delusional, then there is only one person that I can potentially trust to practice Sincere Confident Uncertainty. Which also means that there is only one person who can keep me from that practice; which I know on occasion will occur.

It seems I have put forth considerable thought and effort to figure something out that I could have read by searching 'Humility' in any number of 'famous quote' web sites. But that would be a little like the difference between a big pot of Gumbo simmering all day on my stovetop, and a fast food burger grabbed in a drive thru and digested on the road.

This has been an important post for me. These words, this thought, this effort has made manifest a process that I believe will help me to advance on Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness; a process that in many ways (at least for the moment) has turned my arrogance on its head, exposing its insubstantiality formerly hidden beneath its kilt.

...A kilt that made a statement.

...A kilt that was beautifully impressive.

...A kilt of flimsy synthetics.

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3 Responses to Exposing Happiness

  1. Pingback: Minding Happiness | hopelesshappiness.com

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