Gaming Happiness

Each morning I get out of bed, situate my playing pieces, roll the die, and start moving. Once my playing pieces are in play, I again roll the die and again move accordingly. Sometimes the die roll dictates that I move backward. Most days I talk myself into believing that there is some steady forward progress. I have a lot of pieces in play and sometimes it is hard to track all the simultaneous movement; especially when moving with and/or against the tide of other player's pieces.

Sometimes I land on a space that requires me to draw a card with new instructions; occasionally these instructions are game-changers. Oftentimes instructions dictate interaction with other players - occasionally cooperatively; occasionally competitively, or even adversarially. Sometimes there are disputes over rules interpretation. When this happens, the player whose piece is furthest ahead generally wins the argument. It's a good thing I have multiple pieces in play because a couple seem to consistently lag behind.

Frequently I have to make decisions that I know will influence outcomes both short and long term. I don't always know what is best, but the unforgiving nature of the game ensures that I will find out. Additionally, the random complexity of the game makes it difficult (at times seemingly impossible) to predict outcomes and avoid mistakes; especially since rules interpretation is constantly in flux. The best I can hope for is to recover, learn, and grow, knowing adversity will continue to show up in one or more of my spaces.

Occasionally the scoring system changes with little or no notice, and I wake up (or open my eyes) to a different game than I thought I was playing. Sometimes I keep playing the same game, even when it has become a different game; which is not a winning strategy. Sometimes the most fun is had by successfully anticipating changes and overcoming obstacles and/or other players. Sometimes the object is not to beat other players, but to beat the odds or to stay ahead of the game. Sometimes the object is to beat other players.

There are some days when I feel like I am running a game on Happiness. Over-analyzing / over-thinking just to establish a foothold. Am I 'Gaming' Happiness? ... Or Myself? ... Or is Happiness 'Gaming' me? ... Are we all 'Gaming' one another?

At times, when I attempt to intimidate Reality by staring into its harshest, darkest corners, the resulting shock waves make me understand why Reality is typically ignored. Reality is not a game. The only way to 'Game' Reality is to ignore the dark corners, focus intently on the bright center, and go blind.

But ...

Sometimes when I focus too intently on the deepest, darkest recesses I lose sight of the bright center. So perhaps the place to be is in the fringes; where the Dark and the Light overlap. From the fringes I should be able to see part of the way into the Dark with assistance from the Light; but then sometimes when I move forward for a better look, I find myself stumbling in the Dark. I am drawn to the Dark; I feel I will find more Truth and Wisdom from the Dark; but this could be a siren song ... luring me into the Dark ... to stumble around ... Blindly.

I should qualify 'Dark' as used above - In this context it is simply meant as an unavoidable part of reality typically mainfested as pain and adversity. It is not meant as a negative and as discussed and implied throughout this site, it should be balanced with Light. I am struggling with this balance right now. Perhaps it is because the flow and direction of my uninhibited truthfulness has been predominantly outward; toward others. Perhaps I need to balance this flow with some inner flow, and a greater effort to interpret uninhibited truthfulness flowing from others toward me.

I don't want to carelessly stumble around in the Dark and I cannot / will not be blinded by the Light of rainbows and lollipops. It seems I should adjust my perspective with some inner/outer/directional balance as suggested above, but I am afraid in doing so 'game' advantage will be sacrificed. It seems (as it is now) that in the short term I am less well off, but I strongly believe that in the long term I will more consistently close the gap on Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness by acknowledging and doggedly exploring the Dark.

At this stage in my thought, I am drawn back to 'this post' where I identified 5 essential components necessary to construct parallel tracks (empirical and transcendental) that will support one another encouraging interdependence and mutual (empirical and transcendental) success. These 5 components are:

  1. Uninhibited Truthfulness;
  2. Respect;
  3. Inner Calm;
  4. Persistence;
  5. Skeptical Scrutiny.

I would like to encourage improved empirical balance and I believe this is possible if I first understand the relationship between uninhibited truthfulness and reality. I have stated (paraphrased and simplified) that reality is a mix of Dark and Light while uninhibited truthfulness is conscious recognition of all aspects of reality. Additionally, uninhibited truthfulness implies communication / verbalization of one's interpretation of reality. Once verbalized, if there is disagreement, then how does one define reality? Transcendentally this appears to be a daunting (if not impossible) task. Empirically, if two or more individuals or groups can agree on sensory data, then headway can be made towards an agreeable definition of empirical reality, and one's uninhibited truthfulness can at the least be understood, though may not be internalized. The manifestation of this process through behavior is still determined by individual perspective. Simply put, empirical reality may be interpreted as the same, but uninhibited truthfulness (no matter its origin, flow, or direction) will have varying impacts on each individual.

With all that said, uninhibited truthfulness must be distributed equally amongst (to and from) all players including myself. As stated above, my efforts to this point (in hindsight) seem to have flowed from my perspective/interpretation of uninhibited truthfulness and I have not readily received or interpreted uninhibited truthfulness from others. I am learning that my perspective (from the perspective of some others) is at times considered serious and harsh. But as Popeye says, "I am what I am." I am afraid if I allow too much influence, I may no longer be what I am. So rather than creating a new 'artificial' reality, perhaps I should simply be more understanding of those with different perspectives; I need to understand that their interpretation of uninhibited truthfulness will likely be different from mine; I believe empathy and compassion can be applied to perspectives flowing in either direction, allowing me to stay in touch with reality, even when others choose to disregard it or lessen its impact.

As for the other components I will restate description from the previous post in which they were introduced: "By utilizing the five components above, with (productive) uninhibited truthfulness as the main building block, respect and inner calm as bonding agents, and persistence and skeptical scrutiny to maintain integrity, I believe we have a chance."

At the time I'm not sure I realized it, but I believe the key word above to be 'productive'. In order for uninhibited truthfulness to be 'productive' it must be (as I have noted this week) differentiated from reality by realizing that no matter how harsh, painful, or serious the sensory data presented, one can be blinded by the Light thus mitigating the impact of the Dark. And no matter how painful it may be to see such widespread oblivion, sincere respect must be shown and inner calm must be maintained to enable persistence and to encourage skeptical scrutiny; thus allowing for and creating opportunity to move ahead.

Thanks to individual perspective, uninhibited truthfulness is not the same as reality. Which leads me to ask - Is Reality the same as Truth?

(To Be Continued...)

This entry was posted in Philosophy. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Gaming Happiness

  1. Pingback: Conceptualizing Happiness | hopelesshappiness.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *