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I feel a need to expand on a thought from last week.

When I said "faith and ignorance are the basis of spirituality," I mean that faith and ignorance are inseparable and serve (respectively) as thesis and antithesis to the synthesis of spirituality; which then leads back to faith and ignorance and a never-ending quest for (unattainable) Truth and Wisdom. To practice faith without an active acknowledgement of ignorance is common and secular. Faith without an active acknowledgement of ignorance is merely religion.

Religion, (like the fast food of the culinary world), is cheap, gimmicky, accessible, often greasy, and encourages overindulgence.

Spirituality, (like planning and preparing a meal from scratch), is personal, judicious, demanding, nourishing, and requires an investment.

Regardless of the method, in our world one's hunger for answers is never completely or permanently quieted.

If in a particular moment, one believes they have all the answers and/or one believes they have no questions, there will come another moment.

This week it was brought to my attention that science has not extended life expectancy, science has mitigated the potential for premature death. Seventy-year-olds were not unheard of in previous centuries. Galileo died at 77 in 1642; Isaac Newton at 84 in 1727: Michelangelo at 88 in 1564. In recent decades, (as a percentage of the population), childhood mortality, death from infectious disease, and violent deaths are all on the decline. The natural life span of an individual human is much the same as it was several hundred years ago, (and perhaps several thousand years ago), yet average life expectancy continues to increase.

For many, this "progress" has changed the face of fear from an amorphous visage demanding ceremonial dogma to a determined countenance seeking meaningful purpose. Both instances require faith and ignorance; (necessary faith and unavoidable ignorance). This face of fear, (my face and your face and every human face that has ever peered out on Life), has not changed so much for several millennia. We are still searching.

It appears that the principal difference is that we are moving away from searching for meaning in death and moving toward searching for meaning in life. So in turn, as one approaches death, instead of finding solace and peace in the promise of an afterlife, more and more will find solace and peace in their personal legacy of accomplishments and contributions in this life. And though accomplishments and contributions may be somewhat more objective and measurable than esoteric worthiness, import is not. Some measure success by accumulated wealth. Some measure accomplishment by status, position, and power. Some measure contribution by reach and impact. Some measure achievement by perceived knowledge and learning. Some measure fulfillment by talent or looks. Some measure legacy by number of offspring. Yet to gauge actual import and consequence, I must acknowledge an ignorance of what will really matter to far-flung future generations, and I must take a leap of faith that what I choose, really matters. Even when it matters in this moment or in this lifetime to me and to those close by, I still have to choose and then have faith that it will continue to matter beyond my momentary animation.

Many are okay with what matters only in this moment or only in this lifetime. Why worry a pretty or powerful or wealthy or (presumedly) learned little face over far-flung future generations. Many have little or no concept or understanding of how quickly "what matters" changes. (Thirty years ago a large majority of us had never surfed the Web.) For many, what matters now will matter for the foreseeable future, (and for some of these the foreseeable future is this moment and maybe the next two or three), and how can the unforeseeable future matter if we cannot see it? And for one to live consistently in the moment for the moment translates to hasty conclusions based on heedless history perceived as maturity which translates to personal confidence in one's choices which translates to certainty in one's definition of meaningful purpose which translates to perceived (and possibly delusional) import and consequence which translates to "It's all about me" which translates to "head down and full steam ahead" which tramples all over faith and ignorance which are necessary elements of reasoned skepticism which is indispensable to serious consideration of alternative futures which (I believe) is essential to the ultimate survival of Humanity; which is why we must work to foresee the unforeseeable far-flung future generations.

These are our choices: 1) to continue "head down and full steam ahead" on our current trajectory, or 2) to acknowledge the necessity of faith and the inevitability of ignorance in order to consider multiple possibilities, and to perhaps reason, discuss, and choose, (for the moment), which alternative may best address what will really matter to far-flung future generations; and then, in the next moment, to reassess. If we choose skeptical reasoning, we must, (in each moment), determine what we believe will really matter from a plethora of possibilities including health, wealth, equality, subjective well-being, amortality, biodiversity, justice, breakneck technology, critical thinking, synergy, ethical reasoning, compassion, volitional effort, education, perseverance... Some possibilities are geared toward an acquisition of individual traits and skills, while implementation of some may involve a massive restructuring of social and political thoughts and systems, and some would require advanced technology. And I am confident that this is only a superficial analysis of potential requirements, but what is more important for purposes of this written thought is that these requirements and demands must be feasible for whatever combination of choices are deemed, (in a particular moment), important for the future well-being of Humanity.

A Lifetime is a moment; and a moment is a Lifetime. Neither a moment or a Lifetime though, is enough. Import and consequence must be measured over generations and centuries and millennia. To have advanced from ceremonial dogma to meaningful purpose is progress. To advance from meaningful purpose to skeptical reasoning is a process that has barely begun. To advance from skeptical reasoning to all-inclusive global well-being is what really matters. Unfortunately, all-inclusive global well-being will require multiple intermediate gradations; some very possibly painful. And here we are, stuck on meaningful purpose.

To get unstuck we must again recognize the import and consequence of faith and ignorance.

For as long as we remain organic and sentient beings, we must recognize the import and consequence of faith and ignorance.

To address what really matters, we must recognize the import and consequence of faith and ignorance.

No matter the specifics, faith and ignorance are the basis of spirituality.

We must get right with our God.

To less powerful organic and sentient beings, we are God.

To far-flung future generations, we are God.

We must get right with our Selves.

My years do not qualify me yet as an antique. The adjectives "old" and "obsolete" may sway some to classify me as vintage, but its accompanying connotation of "exceptionally fine" would immediately disqualify that as a descriptor. This same reasoning will also eliminate choice, classic, mature, prime, select, and venerable. And I don't care for worn, haggard, shabby, ragged, stale, weary, or wrung out. So I believe that leaves "used" as the most fitting characterization.

While I accept this rendering, I do have some thoughts and questions.

Is "used" merely a way station between "contemporary" and "used up?" If so, when did I cross the line?  Or have I crossed the line? Is the fluidity of this quandary actual or delusional? If I have crossed the line, am I actually able to cross back? Or is that wishful thinking, and I am actually looking downhill into the Valley of Used Up? Looking over it, it is a pleasant valley; green and lush; inviting; restful. If I am gazing into the quiescence of Used Up, which will come first: Death or the Valley? Or are they one and the same? Have you crossed the line separating contemporary from used? Some days I believe I have crossed that line. Some days, (perhaps many days; maybe every day), I am across that line but refuse to consciously acknowledge that I have crossed that line. I know this on occasion because in one moment I am feeling up-to-date and vital, and then in the next moment, (often in front of a mirror), I take a good look and ask, where am I and how the hell did I get here? And who is that worn, haggard, shabby, ragged, stale, weary, wrung out phiz staring back at me?

I still prefer "used."

I hate to look ahead, and I hate to imagine the possibility that I am so out of touch with reality that I have also, (unbeknownst to me), crossed over into Used Up; but if you believe that you have crossed that line from Used to Used Up, and if you are in the same existential plane as I am, perhaps a conversation would be mutually beneficial. Perhaps I could help you cross back to Used or you could help me to see reality. I do not want to hear from anyone who simply wants to convince me I am Used Up; this includes not only those bureaucrats and bootlickers who make and enforce the rules---those tycoons and tyrants who believe themselves invincible---those phonies and frauds who pretend to be contemporary and in control---those windbags and whippersnappers who can say and do no wrong, but also the in-laws.

I just said "whippersnappers." Perhaps that valley is closer than I thought.

Poor little guy
Husk hanging by a thread
Crisped by and by
Roasted, salted, dead

I split and shelled
Pistachio unbound
Nut grasped and held
Half-shell caught dangling down

Silk strand attached
Connecting catacomb
Brave worm dispatched
Poly to Monochrome

He'd found a home
Burrowed to the meat
No more to roam
Pistachi-ated treat

Though cooked not raw
This nestled worm inside
I latched my jaw
My gut still mortified

Poor little guy
Husk hanging by a thread
Crisped by and by
Roasted, salted, dead

I admit; I have entertained the thought that perhaps one day my brilliant, cutting-edge, witty, indispensable, five-and-a-half year, weekly blog would be discovered. And why not? With only 300 million other blogs out there, and my aggressive "Field of Dreams" marketing strategy, a blog called Hopeless Happiness should pop. Right? I have even had the pompous audacity over this five-and-a-half years to, (on three... no, four... or maybe five different occasions), send a post unsolicited to some writer or expert because I thought it relevant to their current thought and/or writing and/or field of expertise. But in hindsight, (and not surprisingly), these occasions were merely my meandering metacognition misfiring. The only adjective (from above) to adequately describe the actuality of my personal blog is "indispensable"; and now, personal. For that is all this determined attempt to comprehend and appreciate has been---personally indispensable. But I have said this before; (here).

It is difficult to maintain that middle ground between confidence and humility. This week it is more a consideration of ego and doubt; or even fear. I wrote the first paragraph above yesterday, actively hoping to find humor in my struggle. And from an objective or confident perspective, it really is sadly comical to watch someone authoritatively pretend to know something that they do not know. Many examples come to mind; including the fact that more than once I have entertained the thought that perhaps one day my brilliant, cutting-edge, witty...

I understand that 1) the fact that I know what the "Dunning-Kruger Effect" is, and 2) the fact that I have frequently---(okay, at least periodically)---championed and worked to practice skepticism, uncertainty, and more frequent usage of the phrase "I don't know," and 3) the fact that I have questioned former foundational, entrenched beliefs to the point that I now refer to them as "former," should all influence my confidence in a positive way. But, I am here to argue that 1) because I know what the "Dunning-Kruger Effect" is, I see myself as a resulting casualty; and 2) because I practice skepticism and uncertainty, I realize that "I really don't know"; and 3) because my foundation in recent years has shifted so dramatically, I still feel its newness and instability. I understand firsthand, as someone who has been "willing to reconsider," how difficult it is to maintain a degree of confidence sufficient to be taken seriously---by others, or by myself.

But, in working to understand and appreciate this struggle, (as well as innumerable others), I will say again, "this blog has been personally indispensable."

According to the American Philosophical Association Delphi Description:

“The ideal critical thinker is habitually inquisitive, well-informed, honest in facing personal biases, prudent in making judgments, willing to reconsider, clear about issues, orderly in complex matters, diligent in seeking relevant information, reasonable in the selection of criteria, focused in inquiry, and persistent in seeking results which are as precise as the subject and the circumstances of inquiry permit."

Skipping the preliminaries, because I work hard to be a critical thinker, when faced with a multitude of opinions and beliefs so clearly different from my own and certainties so far removed from my own uncertainties, how can I not ask more and more questions and how can I not become more and more uncertain? Because I am still functional, I realize that I may be exaggerating some to make my point; or perhaps I am simply asking, how can others be so unquestioning and certain? But I have asked this before; (here and here).

Also applicable to my struggle is the concept of relevance. This week I have either been sensitive to, or have had more frequent reminders of, my personal insignificance, which in turn has damaged my confidence. When suffering from a lack of confidence, my humility becomes debilitating doubt and/or fear; and when injured in this way I compensate with ego. But then of course, being the skeptical critical thinker that I am, I perpetuate the cycle by questioning my metacognition. And when I come to this point, it helps to remind myself that despite the actuality that I live in a circumstance in which irrelevance is distressingly irrelevant, I strongly believe that irrelevance is exceedingly relevant. But I have said this before; (here and here).

I suppose another part of this struggle and challenge, (that I have probably said before but perhaps not in this way), is that if I want to have a meaningful conversation about the necessity of skepticism and doubt and uncertainty, and the dynamics of relevance, I must find individuals potentially of a like mind, or I must influence individuals to a like mind; yet I am surrounded by a seemingly impenetrable culture of authoritative solipsism. Those in possession of this imposing majority mindset appear to find it very comfortable; and, from where I sit, it also appears that, (both individually and in totality), they would like to remain comfortable. This imperious arrogance attempts to manifest as confidence, (and on occasion, does so), but in actuality it is denial; denial that a questioning skepticism is necessary; denial that certainty is uncertain; denial that irrelevance is relevant; and denial that personal relevance is irrelevant.

This week I am a bit lost. I want to believe that ultimately those entrenched in denial will be overcome with a sense of inevitability, and evolve. And when I think in terms of the inevitability and the necessity of evolution, I do believe this. But this week, this thought is not comforting. This week I need to simply get to next week before I say something I have not said before.