Touchstones

Touchstone: “something that serves as a standard or basis for comparison.”

It is more than that.

For me, a touchstone is larger than a simple benchmark or point of reference.

For me, a touchstone grounds me; it brings me back into myself; it reminds me of how small and temporary I am; it calms and comforts and soothes and claims me; it battles my ego; and it encourages me and inspires me to do better.

  • A traditional recipe handed down through generations, perhaps tweaked to reflect a tiny-little-small bit of myself.
  • A familiar song or record that always and forever moves my head, heart, and hips.
  • A good book.
  • A long walk, outdoors.
  • A family meal.
  • An unexpected laugh.
  • Service to others.
  • Serious, respectful communication.
  • A sense of wonder.
  • An appreciation for darkness.
  • A thoughtful passage, well-written.
  • A job well done.
  • A literal stone to touch; one that's been embedded in the earth for hundreds or even thousands of years.

These are my touchstones.

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Cookbook

I am in the process of writing a Cookbook. My thoughts in the paragraphs below are written to this specific end.

Writer Norman Maclean on page 161 of his book “Young Men and Fire” makes the claim that “the problem of identity is always a problem, not just a problem of youth.” I wholeheartedly agree. I have spent my entire life working to find myself; I am still trying to figure out who I am. Mr. Maclean goes on to say, “the nearest anyone can find himself at any given age is to find a story that somehow tells him about himself.”

In this cookbook is a story of family and food and friendship and philosophy and music and art and effort and chaos and control. In this cookbook is a story that tells me (quite a lot) about myself. I feel it would be presumptuous of me to set any expectation as to what you may find, but I do actively hope that you will at least find some utility and/or a bit of enjoyment within these pages. If I have set a low bar and if I exceed expectations, so much the better.

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Large-Scale Inexcusable Complicity

I am a mandated reporter; that is one who is legally required to report suspected abuse or neglect including threat of harm. Last week I completed my yearly training for my substitute teacher certification. I was reminded of the following:

  • Threat of Harm is “substantial risk of harm to [one's] health or welfare.”
  • Neglect is “a failure of caretakers to provide adequate emotional and physical care [including] failing to provide food, clothing, shelter or healthcare that is necessary.”
  • Physical signs of neglect include “Looks undernourished and is usually hungry [and] is consistently dirty and has severe body odor [and] lacks sufficient clothing for the weather [and] lacks needed medical or dental care.”
  • Behavioral signs of neglect include “Begging for or stealing food [and] abusing alcohol or other drugs [and] engaging in risky behavior [and] a poor ability to relate to others.”
  • Mental Abuse “can mean any mental injury which shall include only observable and substantial impairment of [one's] mental or psychological ability to function, caused by cruelty.”
  • Cruelty is to willfully or knowingly cause pain or distress.

In the context of this training, these definitions were specific to school-age children but by leaving out the references to children they translate easily to a much larger picture. So my question is, who do I report us to? As a nation and as a culture we are guilty, and as individuals we are complicit. We knowingly and often willingly cause pain and distress by ignoring the homeless, by allowing the threat of evictions, by attaching a stigma to hunger and food insecurity, by stratifying healthcare, by suffering Capitalism. We talk the talk when it comes to our children, but we don't even do that much for distressed adults. And how much of that fallout lands on our children, often despite the best efforts of one or more parents and/or caregivers? And how can our abused and neglected children grow up to be anything but distressed adults?

There are currently more than 750,000 homeless on our American streets. More than 3.5 million evictions are filed each year taxing our system of Justice demanding that it dole out injustice. More than 18 million households in America suffer from food insecurity, uncertain of where, when, how, or what, and too anxiety-ridden to worry over why. Healthcare, housing, education, sustenance, childcare, employment, and credit are necessities that have been turned into commodities that are subject to the whims of capitalism. Perhaps our ignorance would be understandable if there were no solutions, but the problems could be easily solved and our lack of concern is inexcusable. As stated in a previous post, Pulitzer Prize winning writer Matthew Desmond in his book “Poverty, By America” says “By one estimate, simply collecting unpaid federal income taxes from the top 1 percent of households would bring in some $175 billion a year. We could just about fill the entire poverty gap in America if the richest among us simply paid all the taxes they owed.” (Page 137). Today instead of Equality, Liberty, Individualism, and the Opportunity to Pursue Happiness, we are driven by Threat of Harm, Neglect, Mental Abuse, and Cruelty: America is not a great country.

America is no longer even a good or decent country; and each and every one of us is complicit.

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Soggy

It has been determined that a recipe existing as a list of ingredients and basic instructions is an idea and by definition an idea is in the mind, thus a thought; and according to copyright law you cannot copyright an idea or a thought. You can, however, copyright the tangible expression of that idea. This not only makes sense but is also consistent with my very strong belief that a recipe should constantly evolve. In many instances, ingredients and ingredient amounts are suggestions only, subject to individual taste and whim. Today I might feel spicy - maybe tomorrow, not so much. Even in baking, there are some items that are negotiable. In addition, the tangible expression that accompanies the list of ingredients and basic instructions should reflect the idea's potential, not its unyielding, black-and-white set of demands framed on the page. In every recipe there are aspects that are only ideas; thoughts with potential.

We should take this lesson and apply it to Life. Be it a policy manual at work or a club charter or an edict from on high or childcare or education or healthcare or politics or religion or Justice or Capitalism or just the way we've always done things, we can do better. If we can (as we should) take a recipe and treat it as a thought in order to make it better tomorrow, perhaps we can apply that attitude to today as well - treat today as a thought, an idea, to inspire a better tomorrow. To truly live this though one must also willingly let go of yesterday's fluff carrying forward only those aspects of change that can make the recipe (or today) better. Fluff includes pretense, ego, and power. No matter how much I want it to be right, if the breading on the cauliflower is (even just a little bit) soggy, it's soggy.

Today, the breading on America is (more than just a little bit) soggy.

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Truth

If it weren’t for the truth in lies, the reality of imagination, the character in pretense, the essence of superficiality, I would shrivel up and die.

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