hopelesshappiness.com

We learn at a very young age how a small number of people (often less than 10%) can redirect energy and stymie progress with noisy disruption and irrelevant distraction. And when there is no accountability and there are no consequences for misbehavior, a true leader is no longer a leader, he or she becomes a hostage along with the majority. On occasion a disruptor acquires a position of leadership; a disruptor is never a true leader. Progress requires change. A disruptor acquires leadership when change is scary, cumbersome or merely inconvenient. It seems a majority of us would prefer convenient ignorance over scary (necessary) progress. And we learn this at a very young age.

In today's America I believe opportunity is more equally distributed than in decades past BUT only within each stratum of wealth, and the further one's stratum is from the greatest wealth the more unequal opportunity becomes, and the opportunity gap between the top 10% and the bottom 10% has grown wider and wider and opportunity between the strata has become more and more unequal since the 1980s. I also believe that those in the bottom 10% strategically have very very little to no opportunity, allowing those in the top 10% to point at the bottom 10% and manage the layers in between with the admonition to be grateful for what they have, and those in the layers in between are afraid of saying too much. For the top 10% to narrow the gap by creating more opportunity (which is in their power to do) is inimical to their capitalist creed.

This dearth of opportunity, this refusal by the wealthy, (though a significant distance) is still a direct line from the hot pain of a whip flaying strips of skin from my naked back all in an effort to teach me my place and to be grateful for the pain and the humiliation.

My last day as a bank teller is Monday, August 18, 2025; that is 169 days employed in the position. I have learned a lot.

In my letter of resignation I cited as the predominant reason the fact that we were chronically short-staffed coupled with the constant pressure on the bank tellers to make referrals in an effort to sell customers on additional accounts, loans, credit cards and other bank services. I expressed my frustration over the clash between “Legendary Service” and “sales goals” - both stated objectives that in practice (most especially in a busy branch) are often opposed. I had no idea this would be a go-team, rah-rah kind of job. The other reason I cited as less influential but still noticeably noticeable was ageism; (see this previous post). A day or two after giving my notice I was contacted by my great-grandboss who made a strong and (I believe) sincere effort to retain me. She spoke to my concerns and did reassure me that my performance and what I offered the company exceeded expectations, but in rethinking my resignation I reminded myself of the underlying essential reason(s) for my desire to leave.

Capitalism is a cult…

…and a Cult can range from uncaring to cruel to murderous.

…and a bank (more blatantly than some other institutional followers) promotes and perpetuates.

Drawing from this website (cultrecovery101) which is consistent with other similar sites, if one accepts capitalism as a living breathing leader, (which it is), it hits on every named cult characteristic:

• “The group is focused on a living leader to whom members seem to display excessively zealous, unquestioning commitment.”
• “The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.”
• “The group is preoccupied with making money.”
• “Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.” There is a stigma connected to socialist ideas.
• “Mind-numbing techniques (such as meditation, chanting, speaking in tongues, denunciation sessions, debilitating work routines) are used to suppress doubts about the group and its leader(s).”
• “The leadership dictates sometimes in great detail how members should think, act, and feel.”
• “The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s), and members.”
• “The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality.”
• “The group’s leader is not accountable to any authorities.”
• “The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify means that members would have considered unethical before joining the group.”
• “The leadership induces guilt feelings in members in order to control them.” — Guilt and Shame.
• “Members’ subservience to the group causes them to cut ties with family and friends, and to give up personal goals and activities that were of interest before joining the group.” Goals such as altruism, empathy, and respect.
• “Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.”

This past Monday at the bank our weekly pep rally celebrated our investment advisors. We were reminded that we have a fiduciary responsibility to act in the best interest of our clients who have $50,000 or more, and that includes (per the ‘Wealth Referral Guide’ handout) widening the wealth gap (Investment Management and Financial Planning), perpetuating unequal opportunity (Education Planning), inflating the bank's bottom line (Fee Structure), and minimizing empathy, respect, and necessary services for the poor (Tax Management). And as far as I can see we are not required to act in the best interest of those clients with less than $50,000 and we believe we are doing them a favor (teaching them about Capitalism) by offering them (imposing upon them) our Fee Structure: Non-Sufficient Funds fees, Overdraft Protection fees, Account fees, ATM fees, Check fees, Transaction fees, fees on top of Interest, and more.

In other words, wealth is power; proximity to power is not wealth.

In other words, without wealth the individual counts for nothing.

In other words, we have an ethical responsibility to act unethically.

In other words, we prioritize the best interest of the wealthy over the best interest of Humanity.

In other words, Capitalism is a Cult…

Touchstone: “something that serves as a standard or basis for comparison.”

It is more than that.

For me, a touchstone is larger than a simple benchmark or point of reference.

For me, a touchstone grounds me; it brings me back into myself; it reminds me of how small and temporary I am; it calms and comforts and soothes and claims me; it battles my ego; and it encourages me and inspires me to do better.

• A traditional recipe handed down through generations, perhaps tweaked to reflect a tiny-little-small bit of myself.
• A familiar song or record that always and forever moves my head, heart, and hips.
• A good book.
• A long walk, outdoors.
• A family meal.
• An unexpected laugh.
• Service to others.
• Serious, respectful communication.
• A sense of wonder.
• An appreciation for darkness.
• A thoughtful passage, well-written.
• A job well done.
• A literal stone to touch; one that's been embedded in the earth for hundreds or even thousands of years.

These are my touchstones.

I am in the process of writing a Cookbook. My thoughts in the paragraphs below are written to this specific end.

Writer Norman Maclean on page 161 of his book “Young Men and Fire” makes the claim that “the problem of identity is always a problem, not just a problem of youth.” I wholeheartedly agree. I have spent my entire life working to find myself; I am still trying to figure out who I am. Mr. Maclean goes on to say, “the nearest anyone can find himself at any given age is to find a story that somehow tells him about himself.”

In this cookbook is a story of family and food and friendship and philosophy and music and art and effort and chaos and control. In this cookbook is a story that tells me (quite a lot) about myself. I feel it would be presumptuous of me to set any expectation as to what you may find, but I do actively hope that you will at least find some utility and/or a bit of enjoyment within these pages. If I have set a low bar and if I exceed expectations, so much the better.