hopelesshappiness.com

A couple of times this week I have been in the vicinity of that elusive, peaceful, calm center; which (with some effort) I believe is sometimes easier to locate in the midst of upheaval and turmoil. Perhaps due to the contrast.

This week my thoughts have revolved around substance and fulfillment, and I am finding them most accessible through exoteric goodness and by doing the right thing. 'Exoteric Goodness' and 'Doing the Right Thing' sound very close to the same, but I don't believe they are. I believe, to leave Goodness in your wake, one must first decide 'What is the right thing?' And I think that can only be decided with a depth of inner reflection; and even then there is uncertainty.

Exoteric Goodness is felt externally and in its purest sense, is left or passed along anonymously. Doing the Right Thing is formulated internally and in its purest sense, is unattainable. I don't have a system or a method for deciding the 'right thing' but I can tell you (for me) it is often not the easiest thing; nor is it necessarily the most obvious thing, the most popular thing, or the loudest thing. This week I have found it lonely and painful, yet also peaceful; because, while this may not be 'THE' right thing, I feel it is as close as I will come.

I am talking about a significant change in my empirical reality, but (as it should be) through this process I have grown transcendentally. And, from feedback received I believe I have left (at least a little) Goodness in my wake; (I hope as time goes on, this is borne out). As stated above, it is important that the recognition of this not be my motivating factor. I do strongly believe that the most impactful, effective Exoteric Goodness is that which is anonymous. Just as a gift grows with each passing from one to another, so to should Goodness grow as it is passed from one to another; each one adding 'a little something extra' - lagniappe. And as I think this through it is very true that my thoughts, feelings, and actions this week have been influenced and encouraged by many others who have passed their gifts along to me.

... It has been a lonely, painful, peaceful week.

When I cook gumbo, I make a roux. When making a roux, some people use oil; some use butter. I'm in the butter camp. Some people like a dark roux; some like a lighter roux. I'm in the lighter camp. Some people use tomatoes; some don't. I'm in the tomato camp. The day I cook it and serve it hot, it has a very rich, full-bodied flavor. Then, after we've had our fill, I let it cool and I put the leftovers in the fridge. I make sure there are always leftovers. When I take it out of the fridge the next night, the fats (because I'm in the butter camp) have solidified on the top. I can't help myself - I always remove them before reheating; even though I know they will disappear when reheated. Now that I have seen the ugly reality, I have to get rid of it. When facing reality, some people are hiders; some are dealers. I'm in the dealers camp. Some hiders hide reality; some hide from reality; and some are oblivious (as I am on the first day of gumbo). When reality is hidden or misunderstood, I am usually in the oblivious camp. Some dealers deal reality; some deal with reality. I try to make frequent visits to both camps. (Of course, at this point, it should be noted that, as always, it is easier said than done.)

Gumbo would not be gumbo (as jambalaya would not be jambalaya) without bell pepper, onion, and celery; often referred to as the 'holy trinity' in Cajun and Creole cuisine. In gumbo, these raw, chopped vegetables are used to arrest the roux (keep it from burning and getting bitter) once it reaches the desired color; (the celery, onion, and bell pepper serve as a shutoff valve to control excess). If you burn your roux, you must throw it out and start again. Constant stirring and attention are key to the right-for-you roux.

Some people like chicken gumbo; some like chicken and sausage (typically andouille); some like seafood; some like vegetarian; and some like uncommon or even exotic proteins (such as ground meats, turkey, deer, gator, nutria rat - the list is endless). I have pitched my tent in many different protein camps but almost always start with chicken. It is a matter of personal taste and character.

Most people ladle their gumbo over rice; some like it over half a sweet potato; a few like it over potato salad. I am definitely not in the sweet potato camp; the potato salad though is very interesting.

When I am doing something other than a seafood gumbo I like to take some broth from the stock pot and boil some shrimp in a smaller pot, then offer my guests the option of adding a few shrimp to their bowl of gumbo. This is lagniappe - 'a little something extra'.

And I haven't even touched upon the spices, other vegetables (okra is common; corn is controversial), the number of prep/cook/simmer hours, the bread, and the importance of leftovers - (Gumbo is always better the second day).

...One can learn a lot from a pot of gumbo.

We are all individually irrelevant ... unimportant ... inconsequential - it is a harsh fact. So how does one get past this fact and continue to close the gap on Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness? I believe it must begin with inner transcendence.

Transcendental - That which is Beyond.

Inner Transcendence - That which emanates from within and reaches Beyond.

I will backtrack and qualify just a little: in this physical realm, if one is lucky, one shares mutual relevance with a few and may have some consequence in specific settings or sets of circumstances. However, as illustrated in the old analogy of removing your hand from a bucket of water, if one is removed from a setting, a set of circumstances, or removed entirely from this physical realm, this may cause a few ripples, but the medium soon settles and Life goes on. The fact remains that in the grand scheme, we are all relatively irrelevant.

This all sounds brutal, harsh, and somewhat depressing, but I don't believe it is. I believe it relates directly to previous discussions that have expanded upon the concepts of Exoteric Goodness, Inner Peace, and the thoughts of Epictetus who said that nothing can truly be taken from us. He maintained that inner peace begins when we stop saying "I have lost it" and instead say "it has been returned to where it came from." The world owes us nothing, so when we are able we should take great care of those things the world temporarily allows us to have and we should live each day adding to a legacy that emphasizes anonymous Goodness for the sake of Goodness. This perspective is liberating. It is the embodiment of the transcendental nesting within the empirical. Regardless of one's specific transcendental beliefs, day-to-day existence in this physical realm is given meaning through a dichotomy of harsh reality and ineffable/intuitive spirituality.

Please see this post (Happiness Beyond Words) for a more thorough examination of the process of recognizing transcendental, and this post (Internalizing Happiness) for a more thorough explanation of why I tend to believe that transcendence originates from within.

I have stated several times throughout these posts that I strongly believe one should 'Do No Harm'. Last week I touched on this (rather clumsily), so this week I would like to revisit the concept and refine my interpretation in the context of inner transcendence.

First I'd like to restate that I strongly believe one should 'Do No Physical Harm'. I believe this applies to people, nature, and all things physical of, from, or for this world. One may argue that there may be occasions when one has to choose the lesser of evils (for example harm or be harmed) but I believe that for most of us these occasions are very rare to non-existent and more often serve as an excuse for running roughshod and losing sight of that line (mentioned last week) between personal impact and doing harm.

Secondly I would like to examine the impact uninhibited truthfulness has and differentiate between 'doing harm' (personal, intentional, or vengeful) and the 'potential for harm'. Each one of us can choose our reaction to another's input regardless of the degree of uninhibited truthfulness. Common reactions to outside input include the following:

1. one can analyze and disagree thus eliminating or mitigating harm;
2. one can determine a degree of agreement and work through a reasoned, empathetic process of change;
3. one can simply ignore another's uninhibited truthfulness; or
4. one can become defensive and/or go on the offensive thus creating a potential for harm.

And once one party reacts, the initiating party must then choose their reaction. If one gains a reputation for defensive or offensive reaction (or input) it encourages a mirrored reaction or no reaction at all; which in turn increases potential for harm and decreases potential for learning, growth, change, and progress. Bottom Line - Uninhibited Truthfulness should not be discouraged based on the 'potential for harm' because in so doing the potential for growth is also discouraged and likely eliminated. Still, one must carefully examine and understand their personal motives to ensure they are not intentionally seeking harm in the guise of uninhibited truthfulness.

Next, I want to examine hope, fear, and comfort zones. Everywhere I look, I see roving gangs of hopes, fears, and comfort zones looking for every opportunity to assault our sensibilities and beat down uninhibited truthfulness. Fear of reprisal; fear of the unknown; fear of loss; fear of pain and adversity; fear of fear. Fear is a bully. Hope is debilitating in that it encourages inactivity. Comfort zones lull us to sleep and encourage apathy. Working together they are formidable and they Do Harm. But we can battle back.

French Revolutionary Rabaut Saint-Etienne was credited with saying, "Our history is not our destiny." He paid for his revolutionary thinking with his head; guillotined in 1793. There are times today when (figuratively speaking) one may fear being handed his head and therefore does not speak out. Yet, as stated above, if we do not speak out we are doing a disservice to progress. It was French Philosopher Rene Descartes who initially proposed the idea of 'tabula rasa' or 'blank slate' which encourages/requires rejection of all preconceptions and inherited beliefs deriving from tradition. One should doubt, question, and contemplate/analyze all ideas without distinction. It was also Rene Descartes who said 'Cogito Ergo Sum' - 'I Think therefore I Am.' Hopes, Fears, and Comfort Zones smother independent thought and demoralize individual being.

It feels like there is a lot said in this week's thoughts - from irrelevance to inner transcendence to exoteric goodness and inner peace to 'Do No Harm' to uninhibited truthfulness to doing harm vs. potential for harm to hopes, fears, and comfort zones to the French Revolution, Descartes, and the meaning of existence. I may let this simmer, and expand or refine these thoughts next week.

One final thought ...

To live wholly one must immerse oneself in the harsh reality and ineffable/intuitive spirituality of daily existence by avoiding hopes, fears, and comfort zones through inner transcendence. Easier said than done, I know; but I think it may be pretty important ...

I would be closer to Wisdom if I could perceive me as others perceive me. Therefore, I must be as open and functionally transparent as circumstances allow.

If I err, I believe it should be on the side of transcendent transparency; consequences (impacting me) be damned.

(Qualification - 'Doing Harm' and 'Doing No Harm' in the context of everything below refers to non-physical conflict and disagreement potentially resulting in non-physical pain and/or adversity.)

I believe within the scope of this personal transparency there is a razor thin line between consequences impacting me and consequences doing harm to others. I am more likely to cross this line when I am thoughtlessly being selfish. And I am more likely to have a negative reaction to consequences impacting me when I am thoughtlessly being selfish.

I am selfish.

I believe if I do harm to another it (at least temporarily) casts a shadow on their perception of me, thus (at least temporarily) skewing my interpretation of how they perceive me or eliminating that potential for interpretation entirely. If this happens, the possibilities for mutual learning and growth are stultified. I want to believe that this change from possibility to futility occurs because harming others casts an 'all-encompassing' shadow that filters or blocks Light, and Exoteric Goodness, and Inner Peace, and Truth, and Wisdom, and Happiness. But maybe I believe that futility is merely a warning sign cautioning one to 'stay the path' so as not to be lost; which can also mean disagreement and/or an occasional battle.

Battles can leave casualties.

So under what circumstances do I consider the risk of crossing that line (between personal impact and harming others) worthwhile?

...

At this point it is a challenge for me to remember that the original goal/purpose is to approach wisdom by gaining insight from other's perceptions of me. It is much easier for me to turn a given set of circumstances and make it about others, by becoming condescending and/or judgmental. But if I admit up front that it is possible I could be wrong, and if I battle with 'reason', then I believe there is a better chance that I will not come across as condescending or judgmental.

We all do harm to others. It is the nature of the beast.

Perhaps it is not possible to do no harm when practicing transparency.

Perhaps futility is also a sign that marks a situation in need of adversity.

Change is reality. Adversity is not only unavoidable but also necessary for change and growth.

Perhaps for these reasons it is okay to occasionally cross the line into 'doing harm' territory as long as it is done with reason and respect, and as long as one does not venture so deep into the territory that one loses sight of the line they have crossed.

Great thinkers throughout history have examined dialectics which (based on my limited understanding) is a method of argument, (using reason), for solving disagreement and perpetuating change. Though it is more complex than the description below and (according to many schools of thought) flawed, for my purposes Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel's presentation of thesis (proposition or circumstance), antithesis (reaction), and synthesis (resolution/reconciliation) best characterizes the unavoidable and necessary process of improvement, progress, and change.

If my mind is reasoned, empathetic, and focused on this goal - improvement and progress - then it is not only okay, but also necessary to resolutely pursue synthesis.

Twas the night before Christmas, when I was a kid

Now my memories are stirring; nostalgia undid

My letter was posted to Santa with flare,

With hopes that were eagerly floating on air.

All snuggled in bed, unable to sleep

While visions of joy danced frenzied and deep.

All warm and fuzzy in flannel pj's

I settled and drifted, mind starting to glaze

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter

Away from the top bunk I hit with a crash

Picked myself up and made a mad dash.

The hall light on the crest of my father's bald head

Gave the lustre of midday to objects widespread.

When, what to my wondering eyes did I see

But my brother and an unwrapped gift on his knee.

With a wink and a grin and a nod from my Dad

I knew in a moment, that he wasn't mad.

More rapid than eagles, with gentle aplomb

He picked us up and said "Let's not tell Mom."

Now, Wrapping! now, Ribbons! now Tape and a Bow!

Fold this flap! Tape that flap! Now no one will know!

To the base of the tree! To a hug in the hall!

Now off to bed! Off to bed! Off to bed all!

As three thieves that after wild shenanigans fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, secret and sly,

So with wrapping awry the conspirators flew,

In hindsight, I think that Mom probably knew.

And now, in a twinkling, I am an old man

With grown kids and grandkid; an interstate clan.

As I draw to a 'Night Before Christmas' encore,

My hopes are eagerly floating once more.

They are dressed all in tinsel, and silver, and gold,

Expectancy shining and thoughts that are bold;

A bundle of joys and each day a fresh start,

I look like a grandad just opening his heart.

My eyes -- how they twinkle! My dimples how merry!

My cheeks are like roses, my nose like a cherry!

My droll little mouth, drawn up like a bow

And the beard of my chin, flecked white like the snow;

To the grandbabe held tight, I aim to bequeath

The joy and the hope, and the gumption beneath

A broad sense of goodness, a well-rounded poise

A smile and a laugh, and lots of neat toys.

She's chubby and plump, a right jolly young elf

Yet I know she will grow in spite of herself.

A think back to when my own kids were young

Inspires what's now a new song to be sung.

To speak but few words, and go straight to the heart

We'll all fill our days and we'll all do our part.

And laying the truth alongside of this thought

Some days it is tough and some days it is not.

So spring from your thoughts and to friends give a whistle

And through life we'll all fly like the down of a thistle

But for this one moment we'll bask in this Light;

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT