hopelesshappiness.com

Last week I ended the post 'The Art and Magic of Happiness' with "Magic is a song of fear - Art is a dance of courage." This week I heard that song of fear and I am dancing that dance of courage; it seems though, that so far this week I am not dancing fast enough, and, I have two left feet. It is interesting that some sing the song to others and(/or) some sing it to themselves, whereas the dancers typically dance alone. My impression is that at any given moment there are many more singers than dancers, and the members of the audience far outnumber the entertainers. I believe those who cannot sing well, simply don't; they sit in the audience and listen; (though we all sing in the shower). But there are many dancers who simply must dance, regardless; and it is scary to dance alone. The audience can be unkind. To dance alone often invites criticism and may create some insecurities and uncertainty. Some dancers combat this by adding song to their dance; sometimes their own - sometimes another; this is a mistake; this song of fear (as a reflection of Magic) takes away from the dance. It is best to dance through the insecurities and embrace the uncertainty.

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For a couple of days I have been attempting to ignore uncertainty and I have added song to my 'now-frenzied' dance, all in search of certainty and safety. I feel uncertainty shadowing me; closely.

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I am unable to ignore it, so now I have stopped singing, turned around, once again embraced uncertainty, and we are doing a slow waltz while I catch my breath.

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Three days ago, I felt I had lost my moorings. While it is scary to dance alone, I experienced more fear chasing the siren song of safety and certainty. The quiescence of conformity is stifling. The potential found in this ineffable (perilous?) dance with uncertainty is preferable.

"Magic is a song of fear." Safety and certainty is a sham; a reflection of the singer's repressed fear and an illusion of hope for those listening.

"Art is a dance of courage." A dance with uncertainty; a dance of solitude; a dance of potential.

Magic: A deft manipulation of inattention and misdirection creating an expectant assimilation of myths and symbols; an avoidance of reality.

Art: A deft manipulation of attention and focus, using myths and symbols to create an ineffable awareness of Dark and Light; a confrontation with reality.

We want to believe in magic, but we are better served by art. Magic is mind-numbing; simple; pleasant. Art is thought-provoking; complex; filled with shadows. Magic is a safe-in-your-seat spectator sport. Art is a full-contact, participatory pursuit. Magic is characterized by an unquestioning desire to believe. To appreciate art requires cultivated intuition and intense skeptical scrutiny. Magic is characterized by a bureaucratic herd mentality. To fully appreciate art requires the pain of solitude. Magic is sleight of hand. Art is depth of mind. Magic is showmanship. Art is the (sometimes fluid, more often arduous) meshing of internal and external harmonies. A magician takes credit. An artist gives credit. Magic is exclusionary. Art is available to everyone. Magic takes itself too seriously. Art takes innovative risks. Magic is pedestrian. Art is spiritual. Magic has boundaries. Art is forever. Magic is a song of fear. Art is a dance of courage.

If you could take an anti-aging pill once per day to arrest the process, would you do so? Imagine the cost is minimal (say, a penny per day), and though it would not stop already-acquired advanced illness, nor preclude normal illness (flu, cold, etc.) or accident, let's assume it would take all future life-threatening disease (such as heart disease and cancer) off the table, and it would allow you to retain the overall health and vitality you currently enjoy at whatever age you decide to begin taking the pill. The only question for many would be, at what age do I begin taking this pill?

Some though, may question if they truly want to live forever. If the pill cannot reverse aging (it just stops the process when you begin taking it) then when the pill first comes available, many elderly and/or infirm may opt not to take it. Others may feel that immortality comes in a next life or through a process of regeneration and/or rebirth, and opt out based on personal beliefs. And then there is the question of overpopulation. Would we figure a way to sustain, if the mortality rate suddenly plummeted? Many people would optimistically (narcissistically) think so, and not worry.

But would we truly be happy (or Happy) with immortality? From experience, it feels that everything of value is fleeting. Life is fleeting. Health is fleeting. Happiness is fleeting. If immortality were suddenly thrust upon us, would Living lose some appeal? And some value? And how long before boredom sets in? Additionally, immortality (in this scenario) does not guarantee freedom from pain and adversity. There is no caveat for unlimited wealth; only improved health and vitality. There is no provision for sudden peace and harmony amongst all people. Can we bear an eternity of work, struggle, politics, bureaucracy, conflict, nuisance, the daily grind - not to mention poison ivy and the in-laws? Granted, there are numerous enjoyable, rewarding aspects in Life that for many far outweigh the adversity; but still, eternity is a very long time.

Albert Camus said, "There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living..." The anti-aging scenario presented puts this question in terms that would be relevant to each of us. We would have to make a choice that could be presented in varying ways. Some may say you are choosing between Life and suicide. Others may say you are choosing between narcissistic youth and the wisdom of old age. And still others may look at it as a choice between health/vitality and the potential for an agonizingly slow death. I believe it is this last argument that may sway many of us; at least those under the age of 50.

So what if the pharmaceutical gods that make this pill (legally and by government edict) made 1 out of every 500,000 to induce a deep sleep and a painless, peaceful death. This provision would add some interest to the proposition of potential immortality, and some value to Living. Additionally, it would help with the aforementioned issues of overpopulation and sustainability. And it would force everyone to not only more carefully consider IF they would take it, but also at what age they would begin. If one waited too long they could succumb to an irreversible, natural, life-threatening illness; too soon and they could die young as the one out of half-a-million.

Though it has been consistently predicted to be on the horizon, science and technology have yet to provide an anti-aging pill or freedom from the threat of slow, painful, terminal illness. Some believe it will come. If it does, what decisions will you make?

We aspire to transcendence. But if we were to achieve any of these states of being - complete Transcendence... an ultimate Truth... unadulterated Purity... - we will have also stripped away our Humanity. Humanity (strongly) implies imperfection. This week I have wondered if even stumbling in the general proximity of a perfect state, or somehow achieving some semblance (or even some facade) of a perfect state, may not also take away from the experience of Living Life.

Should one's Humanity be balanced? Or should one more actively pursue an understanding of those aspects that call out?

Could active, diligent pursuit of a particular aspect of one's Humanity truly dismantle one's Humanity? Or does it just appear to others that it does so, while to the aspirant (though adding understanding through complexity and depth) the desired state appears to recede? - (i.e. The more you know, the more you know you don't know.)

Uncertainty and the Unknown are a part of our Humanity.

Fear is a part of our Humanity.

Human Interaction is a part of our Humanity.

Struggle is a part of our Humanity.

A desire for Harmony is a part of our Humanity.

A desire for Power and Control is a part of our Humanity.

Pain and Adversity are a part of our Humanity.

Synergy and Interdependence are a part of our Humanity.

Beauty and Ugliness are a part of our Humanity.

Our search for Truth and Wisdom is a part of our Humanity.

The Dark and the Light are a part of our Humanity.

To pursue a deeper, more complex understanding of all of the above is compulsory; but to achieve Perfect Understanding is not desirable. A contradiction? Perhaps; but that too is a part of our Humanity.

Twas the night before Christmas, some day long ahead

My granddaughter tucking her kids into bed;

The aroma of wood smoke hung soft in the air,

As mamma reached down gently ruffling their hair.

And now that the children were snug in their beds,

Good dreams sensing sleep came to dance in their heads;

And mamma in repose watched with joy and delight

As the dreams settled in to dance through the night.

Then all of a sudden mamma's mind found some clutter

She crept to the hall and started to mutter.

Away to the kitchen she flew like a flash,

Threw open the back door and took out the trash.

Smiling back on her nest, so much Love to bestow

Her bluster a symbol, her face all aglow.

Then, what to her wondering eyes should appear

But a miniature spring bubbling up cold and clear;

With a twisting and turning so lively and quick

She thought for a moment it must be a trick.

With wonder and awe she examined its source

And whistled and shouted, surprised by its force.

Now dashing and dancing and prancing within it!

Like rapids, with ice cubes; could stand but a minute!

To the top of the hill! To the stone-gated wall!

Refreshed! And Renewed! She dashed in a thrall!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

So did mamma becalm and ponder the why.

And up to the house, from its source she did go

With a head full of thoughts and an echoing flow.

And then came an inkling; a sound soft and sweet

The prancing and pawing of children's bare feet.

As she drew in her head and was turning around,

Down the hill came her kids with a laugh and a bound.

They were dressed in their pj's on this warm southern night,

And their legs were a-churning as if to take flight.

A bundle of joys full of zest, zip, and zing,

They ran to their mamma and started to sing.

Their eyes -- how they twinkled! Their dimples how merry!

Their cheeks were like roses, their singing quite airy!

The song from their mouths seemed in tune with the flow

Of the spring as they sang of the things they did know.

The Love of their mamma and each other too,

And their encircled thoughts, and how to speak true;

And how to decide, and avoid all that's smelly,

And how to be grateful for food in their belly.

They sang for their mamma - a right jolly old elf

They sang with the spring, of a strong sense of self;

A wink of an eye and a twist of a head,

And this song, and their gift caused a tear to be shed;

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her spring,

A gift from her children; it spoke everything.

And laying her thinking aside, now she knows

A shared intuition that for-ever flows;

It sprang from its depths; its force made her whistle,

And Love flew around like the down of a thistle.

Then she heard her kids sing, full of sweetness and light;

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT