hopelesshappiness.com

This past week I have derived considerable satisfaction and pleasure on three different fronts: home, work, and family. All three efforts have required much creative planning and organization, two have been in process for months, one for weeks, and all three are coincidentally nearing a point of culmination; though only one will bring closure while the other two will move forward to an advanced stage. I believe it is the accident of simultaneous climax that has intensified the pleasure. I am, (if not frequently), consistently satisfied with (what I see as) various stimulating peaks of creativity, but seldom have come to the strength of multiple gratifications as I have in this past week. I believe the anticipation of further fulfillment on two fronts also adds to that pleasure. And I believe I have just discovered the mechanics underlying the intensity.

Creative planning and organization is merely the headline. Delving deeper, all three of these processes required a translation from one language to another, and a molding and shaping to transform this new language into an engaging and substantial palpability readily understood and appreciated. Whether the first language is raw data, a plethora of jumbled words and pictures, or a spiked wheel of suggestions and ideas, to make the complex appear understandable to those who don't speak "complex" may appear to be magic. It is not magic. But it is satisfying. And pleasurable.

In one of these "successful" struggles. I had to keep reminding myself of my three rules for creative projects:

1. You want to get it Perfect.
2. You have to get it Good.
3. You have to understand Diminishing Returns.

Rule #1 applies to all hands-on planning and execution. Rule #2 applies to all down-time away from your project. Rule #3 does not kick in until the project is somewhere between 90 and 95 percent complete. (Of course it is not quite this simple as there are many "mini" projects within the scope of the larger project, creating a cyclical web of Perfect, Good, and Diminishing Returns.) In this particular project I had to keep reminding myself of these three rules and their cyclical nature because the individual I was working with only had two rules:

1. You want to get it Perfect.
2. You have to get it Perfect.

We did not get it Perfect. She did not receive a Perfect result, and in the end she was okay with that; but in the process she had many more ups and downs and (I am guessing) less overall enjoyment than I experienced.

It was a good week. Not Perfect; but Good.

It was a heart-sinking, heart-shrinking, heart-thinking moment. This prevalent prioritization of nonessential concerns leaves me wrung out. In my ignorance, I am still on occasion entertained and amused; and even participatory. In recent years this has more frequently progressed to sadness and anger, which in turn has propelled me toward self-education and efforts to persuade. And ultimately now this has evolved into these feelings of helplessness and futility.

I believe that (unfortunately) it will always be a majority of all individuals that fall into this consensus complicity of simplicity, choosing easy over difficult; choosing divisiveness over common ground; choosing ineptitude over meaningful accomplishment; choosing personal satisfaction and gain---in this moment, in this Lifetime, over the advancement and (possible) survival of all Humanity---past, present, and future.

I believe it is a fear of growing closer to death that urges us to make these choices. I believe it is a choice between relevance and irrelevance; but I believe that a majority of us mistake individual recognition and self-congratulations as relevance and overlook the actual relevance of difficult, meaningful, universally-applicable progress because we fear we may not stand out in the crush of the larger common ground. We do not want to be lost in a crowd.

Standing in that crowd, (imagined though it may be), I do feel crushed; and lost. But I believe my feelings are due to the imaginary nature of this crowd. I believe that to fill this common ground with the energy of worldwidespread interdependence would leave me feeling exhilarated; as opposed to helpless. I believe I must continue to work very hard at self-education and (when and where I'm able), persuasion, because I believe there is a limit to how much my heart can sink - and shrink - and think - before it ultimately bursts.

Rascal, Miscreant, Rapscallion, Reprobate, Rogue, Scamp, Scapegrace, Scoundrel, Trickster, Varlet, Villain - all listed synonyms for Scalawag.

This week I have not taken a lot of time for adult thoughts because our territory was invaded and occupied by a 5 year old granddaughter, and the two of us, (Granddaughter and Grandad), spent much of our time acting out the various roles listed above.

This week I was a reprobate Grandad being taught new tricks by my scoundrel Granddaughter; (and I hope I have taught her a few too). We have had much fun and at various times have been (or plan to be) in varying depths of hot water with various Moms, Grandmas, Aunties, Uncles, Daughters, Sons, Great Grandmas, and In-Laws.

This week I have had a Grand Time.

Twas the week before Christmas, and I'm thinking food

Some pots will need stirring, some meat barbecued;

Sautéing and roasting and baking with flare

Seasoning and toasting the savory fare;

The children still nestled all snug in their beds,

While holiday feasting danced in their heads;

And mamma in her apron, and I in mine too,

Had just settled in to our where, what, and who,

When back in the pantry there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my chair and knocked over a platter.

The cookies they fell to the floor with a crash,

As I staggered and lurched and fell onto the trash.

The gleam of the grease from my trashy elbow

Made a cluster of coffee grounds twinkle and glow,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a magical stock pot, bang-clanging good cheer,

With a great big old smile, so lively and quick,

I thought for a moment I'd gone lunatic.

More rapid than eagles ingredients they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

Now, Celery! now, Onion! Bell Pepper, you too!

On, Flour! on, Butter! We'll make us a Roux!

Now Chicken and Sausage! To the stock! Where ya been?!

Now dash away! dash away! Salt and Cayenne!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

The redolent aromas did mount to the sky,

Then into the stock pot the Okra it flew,

And Tomatoes and Corn, made their big debut.

And then, in a shaking, a sip and a splash

The seasoning and tasting, a dip and a dash.

In wonder I watched as this pot sought perfection,

And then my pot spoke with a jolly affection.

"You saved me from clearance; my life was kaput,

You saved me from tarnish and ashes and soot;

Your pots full of joys, your flavorful living,

You've brought me new life, now it's my time for giving."

His face was amorphous; distorted and vague;

His mouth when he spoke, would zig and then zag;

His eyes though were soft, despite the hard steel,

They sparkled and danced with a spirited zeal;

Bubbling with verve from the heat underneath,

The steam, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad base and his lid was askew,

And he shook and he rattled; then out of the blue

He broke into song, as he plied his craft,

Together we danced, he sang and I laughed.

With a tip of his lid and a wink of his eye,

I knew that this batch would soon satisfy;

The French Bread appeared and his work did not stop,

Then he gave a quick spin, without spilling a drop,

He added the Shrimp, and the bowls got in line

With a nod there was rice; we were ready to dine;

Somehow as we feasted, the bowls were refilled,

And when pleasantly full, the leftovers were chilled;

Then he sprang from the stove, to his team gave a bristle,

To the shelves they all flew, just as clean as a whistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he dove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Whether you are truthful and admit that you play to win, or you are nice and claim that you play for the enjoyment, or the camaraderie, or the challenge, or simply to pass the time, most play is systematic. Random disorderly play is frightening. Systematic play requires various elements, including a goal (or "object of the game"), a set of rules defining parameters, action within those parameters, a combination of luck and/or skill and/or strategy, recordkeeping, and an eventual winner or multiple winners. Other optional elements for systematic play include other players, meaningful choices within the rules, active hope, a learning curve, and creative tension. Random play only requires unrestrained, creative imagination; (think of Gladiators in the Arena, or Witches burned at the Stake, or Heretics Drawn and Quartered, or a Cat playing with a Mouse).

It sounds contradictory but perhaps it is true that we can only find freedom and enjoyment when bounded by rules; and in the face of arbitrary freedom, we find fear in the possibility of repression, persecution, and violence.

This week I have been thinking about systematic play.

The first requirement for systematic play is a goal, but in some play the goal or objective is not clearly defined. When this occurs, the first question to ask is, "Is this systematic play?" If you look beyond the ambiguous (or seemingly nonexistent) objective and see rules and recordkeeping, then it is systematic play. Perhaps it is a form of play in which you are given clues along the way to aid in finding the objective. Or perhaps it is a form of play in which the objective is unique to, and therefore defined by, the individual player. Or perhaps it is a form of play in which multiple players form factions claiming to know the objective and you must choose a group that you believe will lead you to the promised land. Or perhaps it is a form of play in which you must work to form your own faction in search of the promised land. These possibilities may or may not be addressed in or inferred from the rules. Regardless, in any form of systematic play, whether the objective is defined or uncertain, one's direction will be determined by various degrees of luck and/or skill and/or strategy and a winner or winners will eventually emerge. Though it is also possible that winning or losing will be a sudden discovery at the very end. Or, if the recordkeeping / calculations are a drawn-out process, a winner or winners may not be immediately determined.

I have always preferred games that have: 

• a definitive goal,
• rules with some room for interpretation and evolution,
• rules that are applied equitably,
• meaningful choices that inspire hope that stimulates thoughtful analysis,
• meaningful choices that offer a layered complexity of possible outcomes,
• a constant and challenging learning curve,
• more strategy than skill,
• more skill than luck
• simple recordkeeping that does not get in the way,
• action elements (that may include surprise, confrontation, negotiation, cooperation, surprise, adversity, conspiracy, a little luck, and a little more surprise) to create competitive tension, and
• a clearcut winner.

I am fairly evenly split on playing with or against other players, or, playing against the forces created within the system / game. I am fine with either but whenever possible prefer both, simultaneously.

I like to win. I play one game in which, (depending on various elements), the ending scenario is randomly chosen and I may be thrown in with a group of players fighting an evil, or I may be the lone player representing that evil. I prefer being that lone player. Due to my skeptical nature, constant questioning, and overall general surliness, I do not always play well with others. This week's internal analysis of systematic play, has been enlightening.

A Final Note: While I see systematic play as having evolved from random disorderly play, I also see some games allowing for a greater creative freedom in widening parameters. In many ways this can positively add to a game; as long as all players continue to be bounded by the same or very similar rules.

Random disorderly play---with differing rules that take away meaningful choices, or with no rules at all---is frightening