Early week:

This week (Thursday) I have a job interview with my current employer in a different department for a lesser position. Apparently, my thinking is hard for some to understand, perhaps hard to follow, and hard for me to explain. Overlapping pay scales and differing departmental philosophies help one to understand and follow, but in my job search I am finding it more difficult to explain being over-qualified than being under-qualified. Perhaps simply put, one who is under-qualified is looking to better their self, whereas one who is over-qualified is looking to better their world, and I suppose more people are better able to relate to their self. To want to save the world may sound pretentious, but when sincere it translates well. And, I would rather constantly improve my surroundings than rise to my level of incompetence and play make-believe. The latter in practice is far more pretentious.

Working to make things better is who I am. I am frustrated and dissatisfied when trapped in a status quo. In my thoughts, I cannot stand still. Constant improvement is critical for my presence and peace of mind. And in my current department, for the past year-plus we have been standing still; and it appears moving forward, the expectation is to merely maintain our current level of performance. Good enough is good enough for the Department; it is not for me. I would prefer a department where I can make a bigger difference, even if it is in a lesser position.

I am a clerkship coordinator. My current department in multiple performance evaluations claims I am above average, (even excellent), yet their words are hollow. My current department cannot claim to value me as more than an average employee because according to my pay I am average. I spent nearly four years as a below average clerkship coordinator. Just over four months ago I advanced (in pay) from a below average clerkship coordinator to an average clerkship coordinator. Yet according to the enrollment numbers, I am the hardest working clerkship coordinator and according to student ratings, I am the highest rated clerkship coordinator and according to my workload and output, I am confident that I am one of the most efficient and productive clerkship coordinators. Huge disconnect. My current department is either cheating or lying. Or both.

I of course cannot disclose all of this in a job interview. I have found this much truthfulness scares people. I should stick to the following themes:

• Working to make things better is who I am.
• In my current position the expectation is merely to maintain.
• Constant improvement is important to my presence and peace of mind.
• Good enough is not good enough.
• I would prefer a position in a department where I can make a bigger difference.
• I am confident I can do that in this position.

Thursday:

I can never tell. I believe I provided an unnecessarily excessive amount of truthfulness; (as I usually do). I suppose we will see.

Late week:

I received an email from Human Resources requesting five references, so I am supposing that means I have not been eliminated from consideration. As an aside, have HR departments become a totally unruly, bureaucracy-laden pain-in-the-ass or what? Thirty years ago when I was HR, granted I was most of that but not as unruly. Now I'm like a reformed smoker. And no – even though unruly implies disorder and lawlessness, and a bureaucracy attempts to instill order, an unruly bureaucracy is not an oxymoron because to be a bureaucracy also requires some degree of excessive complexity which will always result in some degree of deranged confusion.

We will never find the Truth; but if I may be permitted, the truth is that Life is complexity simplified by bureaucracy compounded by deranged confusion thus encouraging entrenchment and certainty; so, perhaps the HR Model is one to live by. No; I should stick to truthfulness.

Two Weeks Later:

I accepted the job. Demotion + Pay Cut = Justice. Thank you HR.