Author and social critic Barbara Ehrenreich wrote, “To make a mess that another person will have to deal with… …is to exert domination.” If we define mess as disorder, and include ‘identify’ alongside ‘make’, then we have an apt descriptor for the employer – employee relationship. I am frustrated by the domination piece; I think mainly because in this context to dominate goes beyond mere governance or control and (to varying degrees depending upon the employer) includes pretentiousness, ego, judgement, bias and (potentially) oppression. I am fortunate in that I do not feel oppressed but I do deal with pretentiousness, egos and judgement, (as do most all of us lorded over by bosses), pretty much on a daily basis. This may come across as strong, and some might suggest an attitude adjustment is in order, and perhaps I would be happier if I search for a more positive or optimistic perspective, but I might suggest that by searching for and/or finding a new attitude I am distancing myself from Truth. My reality though is discounted because it makes people uncomfortable. No one wants to say: “I am pretentious.” “I have an ego.” “I am judgmental.” “I have biases.” “I am human.” And I might add that as one moves further from Truth (even in seemingly inconsequential ways), one incrementally adds to the disorder that may ultimately doom us as a species. So there; I have identified a mess, (survival of the Human species), and suggested a way, (move closer to Truth), for me to deal with it, thus governing and controlling my work. And if I work to focus only on myself, I am mitigating the pretentiousness, ego and judgement that naturally flow from my act of domination; but, I am becoming more and more angry. Is this a good tradeoff? I come closer to Truth, but I am more and more angry? But… but, but, but… if more and more of us would make this effort to come closer to Truth, would my anger lessen? I think so. But (again) to do so we must first find common ground for Truth. I believe a Perfect Truth is unattainable and will always be unattainable in this lifetime. This does not prohibit me from working to move closer. And I believe that any definition of Truth must account for the inevitability of pretentiousness, ego, judgement, bias and oppression stemming from certainty not based in expertise. And this extension requires us to agree upon a definition of expertise; or at least agreement on what is not expertise. The ability to Google is not expertise. Name-calling is not expertise. Belief is not expertise. Persuasiveness is not expertise. Wealth is not expertise. Even eloquence is not expertise. We must learn to first recognize then utilize expertise so we may work productively; individually and together.

There is no future until it is lived, at which point it is a blink of disappointment that fades into a glorified past. Knowing this, believing this, why do I continue to seek improvement? Why do I continue to search for Truth? I could leapfrog the moment and pretend my future is real. Or I could be stuck in the moment and pretend I am living my life. And/or I could live in my glorified past. Perhaps I choose to work at moving closer to Truth, perhaps I choose to not compromise, perhaps I choose to be angry, because if I allow myself to be dominated and I have come to a series of moments in which I am unable to consistently express autonomous creativity, or move forward, or come closer to (even) contextual Truth, then I am stuck. Even in my inconsequentiality, if I don't become unstuck, if I don't find a new context, I cannot save the world. And isn't that what we all aspire to? To save the world?

So that is why I must aggressively job-hunt. Probably better if I don't include the above paragraph in the purpose statement of my résumé. “Angry Man Working to Save the World!” It's not a headline that would attract many hiring managers.

The saddest part is that I enjoy my work; (I won't say I love it, but for the most part, I enjoy it). But (according to the bosses and the employer) I am over-performing for below-average pay in an intractable job with a mismatched, undervalued job title. And considering the objective fact that my below-average pay is measured from the mismatched job title and not from my performance and results further reduces my confidence and esteem, increases my dissatisfaction and anger, and (I believe) strengthens and emboldens the fact of exploitation. I am currently reading the book “Work Won't Love You Back” written by Sarah Jaffe; and in my current circumstance (despite claims by some at work that we are family), this particular chicken has come home to roost. According to a definition I used three weeks ago, “Exploitation is any wage labor in which someone else profits.” Perhaps here again I need an attitude adjustment, a more positive outlook, but in my current circumstance I feel I have moved beyond being exploited; (according to the definition, a large, large majority of us are exploited). I feel I am being played for a fool.

Maybe not. Maybe it's just me.

Regardless…