For my performance to maintain its upward trajectory, I eventually come to a point where I have to trust someone to do the right thing. Granted, “the right thing” is not necessarily the “Right” thing; it is typically that thing that allows me the continued freedom to choose and implement my process. My question becomes, if (by all accounts) my performance is trending upward based on my process thus far, why would we choose to thwart perceived progress? The simple answer appears (to me) to be ego. The given answer, in recent experience, has been:

• “We can't afford it.”
• “We've never done it that way.”
• “We need a strong consensus before we change process.”
• “That is beyond the scope of your job responsibilities.”
• “It is better to be nice than truthful.”
• “The politics prohibit us from changing course.”
• “We need to slow down.”
• “To maintain confidentiality we cannot tell you why we are choosing to disregard your efforts and progress.”

I am not hearing:

• “Your process is inferior to our current process or another alternative process.”

And, I found this answer reading between all the lines:

• “We cannot follow your lead because you are old and disabled. Stay in your Lane.”

The powers-that-be have done a very good job of maintaining deniability on the “old and disabled” connection, but they have also very definitively put me back in my place, halting perceived progress. So (for me) it is a short leap because it is my age and (more specifically) my disability that initially knocked me back into this place. But this is also the current way of the world; so, enough whining.

Taken individually, some and perhaps many of these answers I have received appear credible. What I want to focus on this week is, “how do I continue an upward trajectory in the face of ego and in the way of the way of the world?” It is a process. My interest is in improvement; an increase in efficiency and productivity with an emphasis on justice. I am not looking to win a Nobel Prize for anything. I simply want to see progress. And I ultimately maintain that if by all accounts my process is moving us forward, and for your varying reasons you stop me, how will we ever know how far we may have gone?

So again, how do I maintain momentum and trajectory?

In hindsight, to this point, going back my entire adult working life, (more than 40 years), I have always trended upward until stopped, then moved to a new circumstance in which due to inexperience and a learning curve I begin a new upward trajectory until…

Wash, Rinse, Repeat. I believe that in any new work experience, all of us process the wash cycle, but then many of us become stuck in that pause or stoppage between wash and rinse, and to maintain appearances we simply re-wash as is necessary. By pushing on to rinse, I am ejected or rejected and forced to repeat in a new machine. I have found I can only maintain appearances by continuing to re-wash for so long before I am compelled to insist upon a rinse cycle.

Is there another way?

As a job-seeker I typically do not have the upper hand. I cannot very well turn the interview upside-down, asking pointed questions and requiring references so I may talk to former employees; though this would be fair. Even the proverbial “Do you have any questions for us?” interview question establishes the divisive (and even adversarial) us/them relationship that leaves me daunted and clearly on the outside looking in. No matter how objectively I am able to ask how they may handle a circumstance in which an employee surpasses expectations and proves worth / value beyond assigned responsibilities, I don't believe (from my side of the divide) I could convince them that my sincere interest was in process improvement to objectively increase efficiency and productivity and to pursue justice. I believe they would see it as the beginnings of an attempted coup.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat…

To Wash is to (at least) minimally fulfill the inherent responsibilities of the job.

To Rinse is to step back, assess, analyze and rework the process for the sake of a better outcome. (And it is in this Rinse cycle where an individual will ultimately need to reach beyond the realm of their specific job responsibilities to maintain momentum and trajectory.)

To Repeat is to have failed.

Perhaps the challenge is not in moving past egos. Perhaps the challenge is in convincing egos that good enough is not good enough and encouraging them to take some calculated risks that may result in (yes, a potentially deeper downside, but also) a potentially greater upside.

This week I am watching the Stanley Cup Finals. Throughout each game I do not see either coach, (one with an interim tag still on his title), reaching for a phone to consult with the General Manager before a line change; or pulling out his laptop to email fans for permission to set new precedent; or even gathering players around for a strong consensus supporting each and every decision he must make. What I see are two coaches taking calculated risks because they understand what is at stake: Epic Fail vs. Lord Stanley's Cup. Yes, many and probably most coaches did calculate the risks throughout their seasons and found downside, but (if they were paying attention) they learned more valuable lessons than those coaches afraid of failure.

I am about to run headlong into a cliché or two. I want to quote some Babe Ruth strikeout statistics; but I won't. I don't believe the Babe can help me to maintain momentum and trajectory. I get angry with failure in the same way that I agonize over injustice. This existential angst forces me to see a greater depth of reality. And perhaps continued effort to expose these depths to those afraid of failure is my best chance for maintaining upward trajectory. Perhaps it is the ego that clouds Vision and (in some cases) prevents one from even looking down into the depths. So perhaps the best way for me to maintain momentum and trajectory is to keep after it and learn the lessons.

As I think this through, even when I successfully complete a rinse cycle, I am still destined to repeat. Until I find Perfection, it is still failure.

I will not find Perfection.

Perhaps the point is the learning and not the machine.

And perhaps it is better to fail, again and again and again, than it is to spend a lifetime in the wash cycle.

I just ran headlong into a cliché.

But I suppose a cliché is a cliché for a reason.