If Congratulations are in order, proceed with caution.
For decades research has shown that we are more satisfied and fulfilled when we feel like we have some control and when there is some balance between effort and rewards. We have found that it also helps if our personal values align with our effort. Yet we often choose to leap from circumstance to circumstance assuming a smooth transition by focusing on the positive potential and not preparing for the inevitable upheaval. As a chosen date approaches, (for a job change or retirement or a relocation or new territory or...), it is often pretty easy to justify by focusing on the difficulties from Circumstance A and the possibilities in Circumstance B. But regardless of the accuracy of this justification, the reality is that connections will be lost. Once a decision is made, I don't recommend encouraging regret or second thoughts by dwelling inordinately on lost connections or positive aspects of Circumstance A, but I do recommend spending some time considering potential challenges surrounding Circumstance B; and not only those challenges endemic and obvious, but also, (and perhaps more importantly), those difficulties that may sneak up and bite you from behind.
Below I want to examine these three factors---1. Control, 2. Balancing effort and rewards, and 3. Personal values---to better understand how they impact (and interact with) change, and how I can better prepare myself for unexpected upheaval.
1. Control:
If there is anything in this world that is certain, it is uncertainty. Change is inevitable and control is often an illusion. Change can be small or large. Change can be straightforward and expected, or change can be complex and cumbersome. And change can bring about some surprising results. With that said, how can I be positively realistic? And how can I feel like I have at least some semblance of control? I have found that I can maintain disciplined expectation by controlling focus and definitions. I define my personal values. I define what is rewarding. And when faced with change, (expected or not), I can choose to focus on any one or more results and build from there. I can choose to not be overwhelmed, by setting aside those effects that are less likely to reward or align; and if some of these factors cannot be ignored, I can choose to focus on handling them efficiently and then set them aside and move on. This active acknowledgement of the limits of my omnipotence prepares me for unexpected results from planned or unplanned change. Focus-Choose-Define-Focus-Control; Start Again.
2. Balancing Effort and Rewards:
Before considering effort, I think it is important to differentiate rewards and values. There are parallels between rewards and values, but there is also a distinct difference. Successful manifestation of a value is rewarding but a value in and of itself is not a reward. A value is an internal expression of desired volitional excellence whereas a reward is more typically an external expression acknowledging effort; (on occasion a reward may be incidental or unrelated to effort, but it is still an external expression). This distinction is important because it helps me to explore and understand what is rewarding by focusing on external tangibles, even if, (and especially if), it makes me uncomfortable. For example, I may not like to admit that I am rewarded by applause after speaking to a group, but if I am, I should acknowledge it (at the very least, to myself). And yes, rewards ultimately translate into feelings, but the reward has moved from the outside in; an exhibited value moves from the inside out.
I call this section "Balancing Effort and Rewards" because I do have a choice. If rewards are not rewarding, I can choose to lessen my efforts. If I supervise others, I have to be aware that they too can make that choice, and realistically I may not have much recourse if they do. My better choice in this instance is to determine what is rewarding for them AND to pay attention to their effort. Extending this thought, I must do the same for myself AND (especially since I claim to value effort over reward) I must be careful to maintain my effort.
It can be difficult to categorize feelings, but by understanding the difference between values and rewards I am perhaps better able to focus on lessening my reliance on rewards thereby creating a more equitable balance. And within this awareness I can also choose to be rewarded by the effort thus constructing a pathway (cleared of ego) that will lead to greater effort. And, as a bonus, I have amplified my feelings of control.
3. Personal Values:
Above, I defined a value as an internal expression of desired volitional excellence; "volitional" because a value should be a springboard. Education is defined as the process of acquiring knowledge. This process, formal or informal, typically includes at least one learner and one teacher, ideally in interchangeable roles. To be a springboard a value must include the process of education. A value that does not include education, (i.e. learning and growth), will never aspire toward excellence. We are all educators. But depending on changing circumstance, we sometimes appear to resist change; though (I would maintain that) in actuality we are resisting growth by clinging to entrenched values that have lost their will to evolve. In this sense all values (as defined above) require education, which in turn demands change. ?So when change threatens to overwhelm, though seemingly counterintuitve, my job is to implement more change by applying a process of education.
As stated above, the process of acquiring knowledge typically includes at least one learner and one teacher though that could conceivably be the same individual; (for example, within this process of written examination and analysis I am both learner and teacher). So if values require education, values must also require a connection with other people. When I consider this claim, I realize that I value people connections more than I am often willing to admit; I believe we all do. I believe self-reliance, though potentially helpful in some circumstance, has taken on mythical proportions that far outweigh its value. I am making the argument that taken together, education and connections with others are two values (if not necessary, at least) critical for competently and confidently handling change.
A consideration of values would not be complete without examining goals. A goal is a guide. It helps me to determine direction which in turn helps me to determine what I value. An extrinsic goal is an owned or possessed tangible, such as a house, a car, or a big bank account. An intrinsic goal is an intangible that is always somewhat ineffable, such as the joy of learning strictly for the sake of learning. My values will change and/or be reprioritized depending upon my goals. Research has shown that we are more satisfied and fulfilled when we pursue intrinsic goals. As with balancing effort and rewards, this awareness will help in my preparation for change.
SUMMARY
When Faced with Change:
- Don't become overwhelmed. Focus-Choose-Define-Focus-Control; Start Again.
- Do the hard work. Identify rewards that resonate and then work to either a) align your efforts with those rewards, b) decrease your reliance on those rewards, or c) change direction.
- Do the hard work. Identify personal values that resonate. Differentiate extrinsic goals and their resulting values from intrinsic goals and their resulting values. Choose.
- Learn-Connect-Grow-Connect; Start Again.