Substantial? Or essential? One's choice. To be substantial is to cause or create. To be essential is to first struggle mightily with uncertainty.

This is my God.

God requires uncertainty. God demands that we question Her existence. God asks that we struggle mightily in every moment, with every thought, with every decision, with every act. In God's mind to be substantial is not enough. In God's mind the greatest sin is Certainty. One who claims to know God goes against God by refuting the Mystery; by belittling another's understanding. To come back to God, or to come to God for the first time, one must first acknowledge the actuality and the necessity of differing opinions; of varied interpretations. Once acknowledged, one must work to understand differing opinions; varied interpretations. And this task, put in front of us by God, is such a monumental undertaking it has never been and never will be accomplished in a single lifetime. I believe this to explain the Mystery; the Uncertainty. Despite teachings to the contrary, God does not want us to know Him, God wants us to know Us; Life; All Life. As a species, one day we may know God. As an individual, knowing Her is not what God requires; or even desires.

To cause or create, to be substantial as a response to our superficiality, is far too frequently mistaken as knowing. To be essential is to admit to the hopelessness of ever knowing and to act accordingly, which for many is unthinkable; and this is why so many reject essentiality and embrace superficial substantiality. Why is it so important to know? Fear? In recent years I have become more afraid of the consequences of knowing than I am of the constancy of uncertainty. And perhaps it helps to understand that the constancy of uncertainty will lead us closer to Beauty, Truth, Wisdom, Justice. And perhaps it helps to understand that the constancy of uncertainty is critical to our survival; and ultimately to our salvation. And perhaps it helps to understand that the constancy of uncertainty is the Will of God.

By saying this, I am not arguing that there is a God. “We should not be arguing over the existence of God or His role. We should be deliberating the existence, conscious acknowledgement, revelation and manifestation of consensus uncertainty.” God is backstage. The Will of God is front and center.

To claim to know is to deny God. If God wanted us to Know, with certainty, there would be no differing opinions; no varied interpretations. To be certain is to reject personal learning and growth. I do not worship my God; I focus on Her Will. I struggle mightily in every moment, with every thought, with every decision, with every act. I remain steadfast in my conviction that the constancy of uncertainty, the struggle between Goodness and Malevolence, Compassion and Cruelty, Empathy and Indifference, a desire for Justice and a self-serving greed, is necessary for essentiality, which in turn is necessary for survival; and ultimately salvation.

This is my God.