If we place human divergence / origination some 7,000,000 years ago, and if we assume (by rounding) a human life span of 70 years, then the math becomes easy to follow when we look at human history on a life span timeline.

I am humanity. I was born a millisecond after midnight on January 1. I spent the first 45 years of my life simply surviving. Life was day-to-day, and most days moment-to-moment. I stayed in the same place and I was entirely dependent upon wild foods, (plant and animal), for my subsistence. It is difficult to offer a cogent description of this period, perhaps because during this time I had no verbal abilities at all. My memories are fleeting and vague at best, and  with no documentation and very few artifacts that could jog my memory, I am unable to find the words.

It was somewhere between the ages of 45 and 50 that I do remember making intentional grunts, snorts, and squawks. These purposeful sounds coupled with deliberate gesticulations, for the first time, gave me meaningful, productive communication. It was also during this same time that I discovered the utility of certain-shaped stones for digging, smashing, grinding, and killing. By my 55th birthday I had learned how to form and shape some of these stones, and even attached some to strong wood, in order to increase their effectiveness.

At the age of 60 I began to wander. In my travels, I have found many different climates and terrains, and I have adapted accordingly.

At the age of 65 I began early attempts to control fire for warmth, and began experimenting with it in food preparation. This process involved considerable trial and error, but having eaten the tasty burnt flesh left behind by the occasional spontaneous forest fire, I was determined to succeed. Then about a year-and-a-half ago I had refined this skill with fire to a point where it also aided in the formation and shaping of my stone tools.

Just over a year ago I discovered pigment, made a shell bead necklace, dabbled in commerce and trade, and began to think thoughts that for the first time were unrelated to day-to-day survival. It was also shortly before and during this time that my verbal skills began to improve; and I believe that my new-found interest in art, adornment, and the formation of mutually beneficial alliances was directly attributable to these strides and leaps in information exchange.

About six months ago I learned to count, I discovered Gods, I began making my own clothes, I found enjoyment in (first) the sounds of nature, and then began creating my own rhythm and harmony, and I greatly improved my hunting skills. And then,  about four months ago, I began painting in earnest; mostly, at this time, on cave walls.

It was just about four to five weeks ago that I began farming, and at the same time I began domesticating some animals such as the dog, sheep, goat, and pig. Three weeks ago I not only began producing metal tools and attaching wheels to modes of conveyance, but I also managed to corral the cow; and a week later I reined in the horse, donkey, water buffalo, llama, and camel. Oh... I almost forgot... As I settled into farming and ranching, I also learned how to write and cipher, and I came up with the first calendar.

And that brings us to this past couple of weeks...

Two weeks ago, after nearly six months of spiritual contemplation, I found Judaism. Nine or ten days ago I discovered Buddhism, Confucianism, Hinduism, and Taoism; and a week ago today I found Christianity. It has been a lot to take in, in a short period of time; and I have many, many questions. We will save those for another time. First I want to talk about this past week; it has probably been the busiest week of my life.

As I write this sentence, it is approaching midnight on Sunday, December 31. In a few minutes I will turn 70 years old.

Just this past Monday I stayed very busy with advances in science, art, architecture, and hieroglyphics, but I did find time to uncover negative numbers, devise a method of woodblock printing, give life to lawyers, and I established the City of Constantinople.

Very early Tuesday morning I designed and constructed a crank and connecting rod to aid in a sawmill in the Roman Empire. I then found some South Pacific Islands, sacked Rome, and spent the rest of the day in my workshop inventing the fishing reel, the paddle wheel boat, stirrups, street lights, and toilet paper. On Tuesday I was tinkering, and I did not realize just how much time I would soon be spending in my workshop.

On Wednesday, the most significant thing to come from my workshop was gunpowder. I also uncovered algebra and the number zero, found Greenland, established the banknote, and took a short vacation in Mesoamerica, visiting several thriving Mayan Cities. In my free time I composed the original Gregorian Chants.

On Thursday morning I devised a system of musical notation, I composed an early Christmas carol, I wrote 2 epic poems ("Beowulf" and "The Song of Roland") and the world's first novel ("The Tale of Genji"), and in my workshop, I invented fireworks and the first gunpowder weapons. Thursday afternoon I began construction on a cathedral in Pisa, and on the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, I paved some streets in Paris, I founded the School of Oxford, I contrived an early, primitive movable type system in China, and I invented the wet compass for sea navigation.

Very early Friday morning I saw Venice, Paris, Milan, and Florence reach all-time highs of around 80,000 people each, leading all European cities in population. As the day progressed, I made acquaintance with Genghis Khan (and a few of his descendants), Marco Polo, Thomas Aquinas, and Joan of Arc. I saw 25 million people die of bubonic plague, and I established public banks. I invented eyeglasses, land mines and fragmentation bombs, and most notably, (very late in the day), I invented the printing press.  I also wrote "The Canterbury Tales" and "The Divine Comedy," and I began and ended a tedious one-hundred year war.

Yesterday I invented the parachute, the telescope, the thermometer, the barometer, a mechanical calculator, ice cream and the piano. I also brought slaves to America, established the first newspaper, and instituted the practice of castration to preserve high male singing voices. In addition, I composed thousands of concertos, I wrote too many plays and books to count (including "Romeo and Juliet" and "Paradise Lost"), and I finished painting the Sistine Chapel. I learned that the Earth revolves around the Sun; I chased some French Huguenots to and then from Rio de Janeiro; while in Brazil, I planted coffee; back in France, I executed another 20,000 French Huguenots; I burned Atheists and Witches; and I settled New Orleans and almost immediately had to begin building levees.

Today I am still building levees in New Orleans. Early this morning I wrote "Candide," composed "The Marriage of Figaro" and "Don Giovanni," and I invented the spinning jenny, the steam engine, the steamboat, a dental drill powered by a foot pedal, and the cotton gin. I also established a trading post that would one day grow into St. Louis, and I started two revolutions.

Before noon I started a civil war. I composed "Symphony No. 5" and "Swan Lake," I wrote "Frankenstein" and "Don Juan," and later in the morning I wrote "Jane Eyre," "The Scarlet Letter," Moby Dick," "Uncle Tom's Cabin," and "Leaves of Grass." I invented dynamite, the telegraph, the metal detector, scotch tape, the gasoline engine,  plastic, and the telephone. I took a hurried trip to California, established the New York Philharmonic, discovered cholesterol, and I met Charles Darwin.

Early this afternoon I invented the phonograph, the light bulb, the machine gun, cornflakes, the first gas-powered automobile, the zipper, and the airplane. I saw the first television broadcast, I composed "The 1812 Overture," and I established the Boston Symphony Orchestra, the London Philharmonic, and the Berlin Philharmonic. I opened the Orient Express, I investigated serial killings in London, and I found some time to take in the first-ever World Series.

This evening I saw two World Wars. I wrote "The Great Gatsby, "A Farewell To Arms," and "The Sound and the Fury," and I enjoyed the Swing Era and the debut of the electric guitar. In my workshop, I built an atomic bomb. I discovered penicillin, I listened to a radio broadcast about a Martian invasion, I kidnapped a baby, and I lost Amelia Earhart.

Earlier tonight: LP records; Korean War; the first atomic submarine; solar power; Elvis emerged; the first personal computer; the laser; space exploration; the Vietnam War; Beatlemania; Sesame Street; the pocket calculator; VHS; Roe v. Wade; punk rock; disco; Elvis leaves the building.

At 9:17 pm I made available the first commercial cell phone. At 9:49 pm I introduced the World Wide Web to the general public. At 10:25 pm I invented an optical disc storage format known as the DVD. An hour and fifteen minutes ago, at 10:45 pm, I commandeered two passenger planes and destroyed the twin towers in New York City.  Sixty-one minutes ago, at 10:59 pm, I abused and humiliated Iraqi prisoners at Abu Graib prison, and I was outraged over my actions. Fifty-four minutes ago, at 11:06 pm, I began rebuilding levees in New Orleans---again. And between 11:30 pm and 11:32 pm I negligently allowed 3.2 million barrels of oil to pour into the Gulf of Mexico, with devastating effects.

Tomorrow will be another busy day.