Life is serious, and should be taken seriously. I frequently make the mistake of confusing 'Life' with 'my life' which leads to the mistake of taking myself too seriously. (And though it does help to explain), this should not be an excuse for frivolity, narcissism, pretentious affectations, political shenanigans (in the context of politics as struggle for power and control), and (in some cases) dysfunctional despondency. I should be objectively serious. When I am objectively serious, I believe I am more likely to learn and grow and less likely to spiral into excuses. But how do I remain objectively serious about Life when everything is filtered through my life? This is what I am thinking about this week.

It is not a new question.

My perception of this gap of understanding between the two ('Life' and 'my life') is a deep chasm that (in this moment) appears very narrow; so narrow in fact that I can almost (but not with a suitable degree of confidence) jump across. So (based on observation and experience) it appears that I can either 1) decide it is not worth the risk or effort and stay on my side (believing I can do as much good from here), or 2) search for and/or build a connective span (of some sort) thus allowing me to believe I have bridged the gap even though I still (thanks to my humanity) spend a large majority of my time in my life and continue to largely interpret Life from this side of the gap.

I believe that adversity helps to connect dots, fill voids, and leap gaps, and in this context my most relevant personal experience (where for a short time I found a natural bridge that seamlessly melded my life and Life) was the immediate aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Assuming I decide to work toward a greater understanding, how do I replicate that natural fusion? What sort of connective span would most effectively approach a maximally productive intertwining of Life and my life?

First, as I think this through it feels I should go it alone because if I recruit others (or if I am recruited by others) to help find meaning across the void, it suddenly becomes multiple individuals, each interpreting and reacting from their 'my life', which will create a greater potential for frivolity, groupthink, pretense, and politics; these things are counterproductive.

Next, if I must go it alone, how do I objectively judge my objectivity? Though I do not believe Perfect Objectivity to be possible, I do believe that the best method for stretching toward that ideal comes from a practice of Quantum Happiness as explained in that post from last summer and followed up two weeks later with Free-Floating Happiness.  These two posts (with the help of other thoughts in other posts) encourage a connection that adds the whole of humanity and subtracts special consideration for the concept of me as an intrinsically absolute entity. Many individuals balk at this (emotionally) but (rationally) it makes a lot of sense, and by focusing on its logic I believe I can come closer to an objectively serious outlook that will move me yet closer to an understanding of Life through my life.

So if a portion - ('all' would be Perfection, which I do not believe is possible) - of this 'energy of me' is subtracted from 'my life' and added to 'Life' I am 1) creating that personal adversity necessary for connection, 2) doing so without harming others, 3) taking Life seriously, and 4) adding objectivity by subtracting a degree of subjectivity. But is this enough to begin work on a connective span that will consistently bridge the gap?...

... ... ... ...

...Perhaps, yes... ...It may be a beginning. But as illustrated by many natural disasters (including Hurricane Katrina) the shared pain and adversity of hundreds or thousands of individuals is that many times more efficient; largely because, in these special circumstances, these individuals are working with no agenda other than an instinctive compassion and responsibility. We cannot (and I do not) wish disaster on anyone to encourage this addition (to 'Life') by subtraction (from 'my life'). But we can (and I do) encourage an active awareness of this gap and a serious communal effort to find common ground from which we can begin to bridge it.

So it appears that with discipline and practice I can personally maintain an active awareness that will encourage thoughtful, serious objectivity. And though I believe it could be counterproductive and potentially harmful to recruit or seek out other like-minded individuals, I (in this moment) also recognize that alone it will be difficult to maintain an effective connective span; especially one that would be utilized by others. I could yell "FIRE!" but after looking around many would see that it could be multiple generations before they (i.e. their descendants) would feel the heat, and therefore they will not be inspired to take themselves any less seriously and/or to redirect their energies. When individuals are given the option to pay now or later, too many of us (too frequently) procrastinate.

Consider an equation with 'my life' on one side and 'Life' on the other side. I could multiply 'my life' by 7,290,352,626 and it would still not equal 'Life'. Yet I could subtract a portion of the 'energy of me' from 'my life' and add it to 'Life' and if I do this every day, with no expectation of quid pro quo, I have made a significant contribution.

I could stop here and feel good about my life, because I do this. Most every day I reach across the span and work at a serious understanding of Life. But because (in nearly all everyday circumstance) I have no choice but to lug my Humanity around wherever I go, I find that I continue to take myself too seriously. I still find (within my self) pretense and frivolity, a certain amount of selfishness, all too frequent political struggles, and the occasional despair verging on dysfunction. And, I have not found consistent safe passage across this void; for myself or for others.

I have long (perhaps all my life?) flinched from, ducked, resisted, and/or fought authority. This tendency creates a natural reluctance to wield authority, though I have more than once found myself in a leadership position that in hindsight, (I feel) caused the gap to widen to a point where I lost sight of Life. This penchant for uncertainty, doubt, and the questioning of all things authoritative creates reluctance to instruct others, because - What do I know? This inclination has also led me to long believe (have faith) that each individual is capable of interpreting and then choosing a best course of action. I may be losing that faith. I believe that today's leadership (government, business, spiritual, bureaucratic) has lulled many of us to sleep and/or hypnotized us with comfort and a facade of authority.

Perhaps I digress. But perhaps this background is necessary for serious objectivity. And perhaps there are too many sheep and too few independent thinkers. Is this the way it has always been? Is this the way it must always be? I would like to think not; but if this maximally productive bridge to a serious, objective understanding of 'Life' must be built with blood, sweat, and tears on a structure of autonomous thinking, how do I encourage that before it is an absolute necessity? How do I simultaneously lead others and discourage them from following? How do I create pain and adversity, yet do no harm? How do I encourage uncertainty, doubt, and serious questioning, and also convince others to act now? It is this state of contradiction that has led me to my current 'lead by example' stand, with the active hope that we don't arrive at 'too late' too soon. It is this state of contradiction that colors my humanity and discolors compassion and responsibility. It is this state of contradiction that helps me to see the gap between my life and Life.

What to do...

What to do...

Awareness is Good. Constant reminders and consistent practice help to move me forward, and even when this progress feels circular, it is Good. I believe there to be hidden pathways awaiting discovery. Life is serious, and should be taken seriously. I frequently make the mistake of confusing 'Life' with 'my life' which leads to the mistake of taking myself too seriously.