Each day I work at translating my Life - my daily actions - into something meaningful and worthwhile. Many days I am confounded; most often, not as I go through my day, but at the end of the day looking back. I may have experienced pleasure, good cheer, and/or satisfaction, and I may have brought these things to others, but is lower-case happiness as described truly meaningful and worthwhile, or is it just a way to get through the day? I believe human interaction and lower-case happiness is important and necessary (for the sake of sanity if nothing else), but I also believe upper-case Happiness (one's search for Wisdom and Truth) is often given short shrift in the context of human interaction. I believe I have said this in various ways before, but this week I need to intently focus on the likelihood of meaningful, worthwhile human interaction that will bring us collectively closer to Truth and Wisdom, and not deteriorate into argument or groupthink.

I am not optimistic.

First, to attain such an open, beneficial exchange all parties must concede that opposing opinions or beliefs may be more correct or valid than one's personal opinions or beliefs. We must all be open to change and acknowledge the fluid nature of reality; and the likelihood of that happening in the near future seems slim. Which means we must start with our children and our children's children, teaching them not what to think, but how to think. What I am proposing is a monumental task. We cannot leave this entirely to our government or to the schools. Philosophy, History, Literature, and other neglected Humanities must be introduced and absorbed in the Home, and then offered and encouraged through more formal educational efforts. I could reference many opinions on this 'crisis in the humanities' and spend many words arguing and pontificating, but this week I need personal direction; (though I encourage you to research the topic and I provide the teaser below from the following article: 'The University's Crisis of Purpose' by Drew Gilpin Faust published; September 1, 2009).

"Universities are meant to be producers not just of knowledge but also of (often inconvenient) doubt. They are creative and unruly places, homes to a polyphony of voices. But at this moment in our history, universities might well ask if they have in fact done enough to raise the deep and unsettling questions necessary to any society."

I completely agree that we do not openly question or express dissent as we should. At times, it seems we have become a nation of narcissistic sheep (which should be a contradiction, but somehow is not). We are often overconfident or apathetic or conflicted. So, if this is not a challenge to be resolved in my lifetime, how do I - how can I - feel better about my daily efforts to move us closer?

For over two years a large part of my daily efforts have included this weekly blog, yet I have no regular readers at least partially because I have not discussed it with or asked for feedback from anyone, including family and friends. I have employed the 'Field of Dreams' philosophy (if I write it, they will come) with much less success than Kevin Costner. Yet I have enjoyed the anonymity (see this post) bouncing written thoughts off of myself and feeding my own doubt and uncertainties with internal dissent. It has been enlightening and helpful but I realize too that a part of the underlying reason for the continued anonymity is that I have been afraid of both rejection and acceptance and their respective impact on my confidence. I do not want to go back to having all the answers, yet I am in need of some justification. It is an interesting dilemma.

I have not missed a Saturday post in over two years and I believe that is an accomplishment in itself. If there is disagreement with my thoughts and their evolution, that is okay; in fact that is the point. I do not have all the answers and there are many weeks where I don't believe I have any answers; but I believe I am to a point where I would like more discussion and feedback.

But upon saying that, I ask myself (again), to what end? Is this my ego crying out for attention? Or is it a sincere effort to generate meaningul, worthwhile human interaction that will bring us collectively closer to Truth and Wisdom? The ego is always suspect and that has kept my voice relatively silent. Any effort to speak out has been half-hearted at best. I believe that needs to change, I am just not certain I am qualified to make the effort. On the other hand, perhaps it is exactly this doubt and uncertainty that qualifies one to speak out. Perhaps that doubt and uncertainty should be expressed and encouraged. Inconvenient as it may be, perhaps the time is right for more widespread (internal and external) dissent.

If you have come across my work, the same rules apply - you should doubt every word. Decide for yourself; and then change your mind. Ask questions of yourself and others. Encourage uncertainty and dissent. Let your reality change with every evolving thought. I am not an expert and you should not be either ...

So here I stand - this week's thoughts have led me to the realization that to encourage doubt and uncertainty, I must first overcome doubt and uncertainty. O' what a tangled web ...