Here on hopelesshappiness.com we have maintained from the beginning that Consistent Long-Lasting Happiness (CLH) is hopeless and increasing the frequency and length of our ‘moments’ of Happiness (Relative Momentary Happiness or RMH) is the best we can hope for. We have identified key elements (in the Periodic Happiness Table of Elements) and discussed various ways to meld these elements with reality, enabling us to learn and grow. We have encouraged, cajoled, celebrated, laughed, and (occasionally) whined. What we have not done (and will never do) is to definitively say A + B = Happiness. There are too many variables (some Light and some Dark) impacting too many people in too many different ways to even remotely consider the possibility of a one-size-fits-all notion of Happiness.

With all that said, in this post I am going to hunt for treasure by examining the concept of importance. I’m not sure where it will take us, but I cannot shake this nagging thought that if we dig deep enough we might find a connection between importance and Happiness that may clarify (just a little) some of what we have been discussing. Ultimately, as this site continues to evolve, I hope to more definitively identify Happiness as a higher order state of being and further differentiate it from the everyday emotion that many refer to as happiness, (but I typically refer to as joy or cheerfulness). To be clear … I don’t think it is possible to define and/or map Happiness, but I do think it is possible to gain a better understanding of Happiness and place ourselves in its general vicinity by living certain actions and behaviors. As I continue to write, and my thoughts become less muddled, I’m beginning to see how a firmer grasp of the concept of importance can serve as an influential guide to beneficial behaviors.

First we’ll define two aspects of importance:

1. Being Important – If you’re a parent, you are important to your young children; if you are in a serious, committed relationship, you are important to your spouse or significant other; if you are a boss, you are important to your employees. This may not always mean that they are important to you, but because of the standing and impact you have, you are important to them.
2. Doing Important – I believe ‘Doing Important’ must evolve from other-worldly considerations (outside of the world of ‘me’ and ‘now’). These other-worldly considerations include inner peace – what you learn for and from within; and exoteric goodness – what you send forth that indelibly survives your passing; (by ‘passing’ I don’t necessarily mean passing from this world, although that is included, but rather passing through this world).

So think about the difference between ‘being’ and ‘doing’ important and how each may impact your concept of happiness (or Happiness). While you may find that being important seems to contribute to your happiness, it is doing so with and for the things of this world. Last week I concluded the post ‘Other-Worldly Happiness’ by saying that “it is a matter of what is important” and hopefully asserting (with the help of Epictetus) that things of this world are not important (though at times they may seem unavoidably necessary) to our relative moments of Happiness.

And … I have also previously maintained (most notably in ‘this post from September 2011’) that we should not attempt to find Happiness, but rather let Happiness find us. I believe that one possible way to do this is by ‘doing’ important. Being important is a great opportunity to do important, and perhaps this is why being important gives the illusion of Happiness. If you confuse the two by believing that being important is the same as doing important, no matter how good your intentions, the meaning and impact will be lost or, at best, confused. As my oldest daughter said many years ago at the age of 5, “you may think you are, but you’re not.”

So if you’re lucky enough to be important to others, take advantage and do important. Take the time and effort to ask questions and listen carefully, with empathy.

And if you are fortunate enough to recognize your importance to yourself – Live Well, Learn Much, and Grow Beyond Worldly Concerns.

Doing trumps Being, and Happiness trumps happiness.