Dear Future Employer:
Thank you for your timely request for help. I look forward to a mutually beneficial career, (or job), as a Copywriter, Content Writer, Contributing Writer, Feature Writer, Staff Writer, Technical Writer, not-so Technical Writer, or just-plain Writer, within your Organization. I will consider full time, part time, permanent, temporary, or freelance work; with a preference to be determined contingent upon your offering. I will accept a work-from-home position or, if you are located in Mobile, Alabama, I would also be amenable to a nice corner office or an interior, cramped cubicle; (I look nice in a tie).
"And why," you are asking, "should we hire you?"
Two words:
1. Dependability
2. Versatility
And...
Three-hundred-sixty-thousand words:
1. 250,000: Personal Blog, I have a strong history of dependable content production. Almost six years ago I assigned myself the task of exploring Happiness on a weekly basis, with a deadline of each Saturday Midnight. In that time, I have missed one deadline due to a technical glitch, and I have missed one deadline due to personal human error; and I have never written "last minute" though some content was produced expeditiously. Additionally, each week I have posted everything I have written within that week, occasionally resulting in multiple posts in one week. I have written every week for 300+ consecutive weeks. I should also note that I have purposefully spent virtually zero effort on promotion in order to disproportionately think, write, and learn.
2. 50,000: I have written and self-published one book, and I have edited / published two other books; one of which is a hardcover, coffee table history of a school district, currently being sold to benefit the district's nonprofit Education Foundation. For each project I performed extensive content editing, proofreading, layout, and design, (including cover design).
3. 50,000: I have written a Procedures Manual for the tightly regulated, technical field of propane and farm fuel delivery, immersing myself in the subject matter beyond state code and equipment manuals, to actual hands-on experience delivering propane and farm fuel, changing out propane tanks, and finding and repairing leaks.
4. 5,000, or thereabouts: I am currently involved in creative data management for a newly established Master of Physician Assistant Studies program, including creation of rubrics measuring cognitive and non-cognitive factors to determine correlation that will ultimately lead to predictive assistance within our selection process. I include this here not only to highlight my Dependability and Versatility, but also my Creativity and my Organizational Skills.
Access to the three-hundred-sixty-thousand words referenced above will be made available for your perusal upon your request. These words reflect recent efforts since 2011. Previous to 2011, I had approximately 20 years experience creating (largely) customer service oriented policy, procedure, and training process, (including a comprehensive policy and procedure manual), within varying management and human resource positions. In nearly every position I have held, I have always been the "go-to" for creative content.
In the interest of full disclosure, I am currently seeking flexibility so I may be flexible---(an apparent redundancy to be clarified by examining the intricacies between seeking and being; i.e. between now and then).
In my current circumstance, I have a job in Missouri. In a work-from-home circumstance, I have flexibility.
In Missouri, I am more frequently snowbound and I am landlocked. On the Gulf Coast, I lived through Katrina and I am imaginatively unrestrained.
*(Did you know that in the last 30 years, even including Katrina, more people were killed by the cold of winter than by hurricanes; and more people were killed by tornadoes than by hurricanes; and more people were killed by lightning than by hurricanes.)
In Missouri, I see less of family more frequently. On the Gulf Coast, I will see more of family less frequently.
In Missouri, I have frozen seafood. On the Gulf Coast, I will have fresh seafood.
In Missouri, I make a minimal impression on adult family members. On the Gulf Coast, I will be many hours closer to my five-year-old Granddaughter.
In my circumstance of Social Security Disability benefits, I am limited as to productive contribution. In the potential of full-time and/or multiple part-time work-from-home positions, I will be imaginatively unrestrained.
In my circumstance of believing that I have been stuck (in my comfy bureaucratic web of "You are a Number!"), I have been unimaginatively restrained. In my newly-discovered confidence in my ability to contribute productively, I am looking and moving forward.
In my circumstance of SSDI uncertainty, I am again reminded of my government's belief that I am inconsequential and, according to some, bad. In a circumstance free of excessively excessive government restriction, I will be imaginatively unrestrained.
In my rapidly expanding disillusionment with the system, I am losing faith in people and there are days I am at an astonished and exasperated loss. In my work-from-home job or jobs, I will be expressing my faith in people by actively working to move us toward reasoned cooperation, while considering the viability of living in southwest Canada.
To summarize:
In my belief that uncertainty and doubt are necessary for reasoned cooperation, I fear over-confidence. Within my fear of over-confidence, I am consistently put in my place. From my assigned place, I have often been angry. From my anger, I have learned productive temperance. From temperance, I have developed an instinct for recognizing a middle ground between audacity and acquiescence. From this middle ground, I am imaginatively unrestrained.
And this, ultimately, is why you should hire me: because I am now, rather consistently, working to be imaginatively unrestrained.
That's it for now. No resumé. No references. No portfolio. However, I do understand due diligence. If you would like a chronological framework in which to fit my knowledge, skills, and abilities, I can certainly provide it. References? Of course. And as previously stated, 360,000 words for your reading pleasure. Ask and ye shall receive.
