hopelesshappiness.com

Science: knowledge gained through observation, experimentation and/or systematized study. If someone claims to have a strong opinion or to have made a decision, and I am working to persuade or influence them to reconsider, and there is consensus science to support my position, the first question I should ask is, “Do you trust the consensus science?” And I should be prepared to cite that science. If the respondent answers “no I do not trust the science,” a tempting follow-up question is Why not? But I believe, 9 times out of 10, to ask why not will immediately result in defensiveness and confrontation. Perhaps instead of why not, I should ask “if the science is bad, not to be trusted, are there alternatives?” But truthfully I believe that 7 or 8 times out of 10, after this question, the individual will also exit this route or simply shut down unable to answer. Those few who are able to coherently explain their stance should be respectfully heard but unless they present an alternative relevant science, we have likely come to another roadblock. I do not know of a consistently successful way to convince or move someone who does not trust mainstream science, and whose only alternative is to wait and hope. I am not an expert in anything except not being an expert. The best I can do to be well-informed is to listen to the experienced scientists, verify their qualifications, and make a decision based on their expertise. Access to Google and a speaking platform does not make one an expert.

So then how do I respond if the individual I am working to convince trusts the science. In this case they are affirming their acceptance of the results or conclusions as facts or truths, yet still refusing to abide, and my efforts to influence will have to take a more circuitous route where we can take our time to discuss goodness, harm, justice, autonomy and/or other concepts relevant to the decision. Instead of facts or truths, I must work to persuade with argument.

Science is the expressway where logical argument is the scenic route.

I work within a health care system associated with a major state university. Recently I learned that I have co-workers who have chosen to not be vaccinated, though it is required in our workplace. They are claiming religious exemption. So though my written thought this week has been prompted by the controversy surrounding the COVID vaccine, it is as applicable to other (often) politicized controversies including climate change, implicit bias, gun control, overpopulated prisons, excessive force by police, the inequitable costs of opportunity including housing and education, and the ever-increasing wealth gap; to name a few. Portrayed as Science vs. Religion, or Facts vs. Feelings, or Logic vs. Belief, or Experts vs. Politicians, or Progress vs. Tradition, or Empathy vs. Power, or Survival vs. Extinction, it is the same argument. And I believe unless a large majority comes around to see the necessity of facts over feelings very soon, too late will have arrived.

I am back where I began. How can logic move entrenched belief? I suppose I could begin with any inconsistencies in an individual’s position. For example, regarding my co-workers, if they were to answer “no I do not trust the science” I believe this would provide a logical opening to explore why a religious exemption is being claimed if the science is the issue. And if an individual responds that it is due to the use of fetal cells associated with the COVID vaccine, (this being the most common reason to ask for a religious exemption), this in turn should lead to an investigation into the individual’s use of other common products that also utilize fetal cells; (products including Tylenol, Pepto Bismol, Aspirin, Tums, Lipitor, Senokot, Motrin, Ibuprofen, Maalox, Simvastatin, Ex-Lax, Zocor, Zostavax, Tylenol Cold & Flu, Benadryl, Sudafed, Albuterol, Preparation H, Enbrel, MMR Vaccine, Acetaminophen, Claritin, Zoloft, Suphedrine, Prilosec OTC, Azithromycin, Varilrix, Havrix, and even some artificial flavorings in food). And even if the individual answers that they do trust the science, they should be asked to sign a verification of their past and continued avoidance of all of these products; (there is at least one health system in this country that requires this). Regarding other controversial politicized issues, I could resource the fact that (for example) coffee and beer prices are increasing due to climate change showing it is a problem impacting daily life today and not just a problem for future generations. And I could cite statistics on gun ownership, prison populations, implicit bias, and on and on, showing the harmful societal impact. But will it move the demographic of biased, gun-owning, coffee-drinking, aspirin-antacid-taking beer drinkers? Probably not. Full disclosure: except for the gun-owning, I am part of that demographic; though I work very hard to be aware of my biases and I constantly question my beliefs. And, I do not claim to be a converted evangelical Christian and I have not donated to Bob’s church of the scattered flock in order to obtain a confirmation of religious belief signed by Bob; (the actual pastor is Jackson Lahmeyer, he is in Oklahoma, and I don’t know the name of his church, but this is a real thing).

This week I requested an accommodation based on the proximity of an unvaccinated co-worker and a personal underlying medical condition; coronary artery disease. I presented my request as a two-part concern:

1. The immediate circumstance created by a specific co-worker who volunteered her unvaccinated status, and
2. Reassurance that any exemptions granted are being investigated to ensure sincerity and monitored closely to ensure compliance.

Concern #1 is pretty narrow and straightforward. I believe we will find a resolution for this. Concern #2 though is a much larger issue that ultimately pits an individual's right to privacy (HIPAA) against the much broader responsibility of workplace and worker safety (OSHA) as it impacts all employees. To responsibly lessen the probability of exposure and to allay my fears, I believe both concerns must be addressed by my employer. OSHA, charged with workplace safety, is currently preparing an emergency temporary standard (ETS) regarding COVID that portrays it as a grave danger, yet so far I have a very strong impression that my employer is reluctant to address concern #2. I would argue that my right to life (and even health and well-being) should be prioritized over an individual's right to privacy, but as shown by the fact that the unvaccinated status of my neighbors was volunteered by a neighbor, I have no reason to believe that my employer cares more about me than they do about political correctness; it appears they never intended to inform me of the potential danger. This is most disturbing.

A few summary questions and comments:

1. How can my employer ensure workplace safety if there is not an awareness of the danger and if there is not a system in place to monitor non-compliance? And if (in my workplace) there is an awareness and a system, shouldn’t it have kicked in before I found out from my co-worker? There is either no awareness and no system, or it is not working.
2. Why would individuals who refuse the vaccination want to keep it a secret? Whether it is a religious stance, a political stance, or a personal belief, shouldn’t the individual want to publicly substantiate their position?
3. If you denounce mainstream / consensus science regarding any controversial, politicized issue, are you also willing to denounce mainstream / consensus science everywhere it touches your life?
4. On the other hand, if you do have a sincere religious or personal belief, are you willing to put in the effort necessary to live up to the high expectations of that belief? This effort would not only include consistency in actions and behavior, but also serious, thoughtful consideration, study and analysis of opposing opinions, reasonable alternatives, and ethical principles surrounding any questions or controversy.

This feels like a lot of consideration to again find myself where I began; to determine that as long as we require diplomacy and tact, science and facts and logic and experts and progress and empathy will continue to be thwarted by religion and feelings and belief and politicians and tradition and power. And survival will be trumped by blunder-headed noise. By respectfully standing by and continuing to give in to compromise, the door remains open for too late. I am (and we all should be) sad and angry and afraid. I am also (meaning we all are) unseen, unheard, inconsequential. This is far bigger than a vaccine; this is everything; but we have to start somewhere, so this week I requested an accommodation.

We have a problem. In this country today there are more than 10 million jobs and more than 8 million unemployed workers, yet employers are having a hard time finding employees. Why? It is a difficult problem. On this hand, with enough jobs to go around, the problem should solve itself. But on the other hand it appears most of those jobs to be had are of the working-class variety in which (under capitalism) someone else profits from your labor which is the definition for exploitation which in turn equates to low wages and (often) undesirable working conditions which has (partially as a result of the pandemic) brought about the realization by many that they are tired of being exploited. But then back on the first hand some will argue that work is not supposed to be fun and they need these good-for-nothing, lazy so-and-sos to get back to work and make their hamburgers and deliver their pizza and shorten those grocery lines. And then back on the other hand some/many/most of those lazy so-and-sos would challenge those looking for shorter lines at their grocery store to also shorten the distance between the top 20% and the bottom 20% in wealth and income. We could continue back and forth, but to what end? Those at the extremes are already dug in. Change, for the better or for the worse, is usually a result of one extreme being forced to move due to greater pressure from the other extreme; and typically the more powerful extreme wins. In this case, will the top 20% crush the bottom 20% into submission by pressuring the middle 60%? Or is there a chance the bottom 20% will be able to reach through the middle 60% wave a hamburger at the top 20% and pull them closer? Our thoughts have one opinion; our actions another.

Looking at Country A and Country B below, where would you prefer to live?

Country A Distribution of Wealth:

• Bottom 20% - 0.10%
• Second Quintile – 0.20%
• Middle 20% - 4%
• Fourth Quintile – 11%
• Top 20% - 84%

Country B Distribution of Wealth:

• Bottom 20% - 11%
• Second Quintile – 15%
• Middle 20% - 18%
• Fourth Quintile – 21%
• Top 20% - 36%

Dan Ariely (Duke) and Michael Norton (Harvard) found that when polled regarding wealth distribution, 92% of Americans said they would prefer living in Country B. I am pretty confident, having an idea where this question was going the 8% that said they would prefer Country A were in the Top 20% of Country A. It appears that 92% of Americans would prefer to be Swedish. So perhaps we do need to reassess the working conditions endured by the working poor and perhaps this job scarcity thing is a necessary step toward reducing that wealth gap; or at least influencing some perspectives. Or perhaps not; especially as long as our elected representatives continue to come from that top 20%.

My head is swimming in statistics. One chart, the same chart, can be interpreted by different factions to suit a specific agenda. For example we can see that workers, wage increases in the past 50 years appear to have sort-of kept up with CPI inflation and have even been growing more rapidly in recent years, so one could claim that no one is worse off. Yet (looking more closely) most of the increase has landed in the pockets of those already in the upper income bracket, thus widening the already ridiculous wealth gap. Further detail reveals, in this land of opportunity, the increase in the cost of two paths to multi-generational financial security (home ownership and education) has (in real dollars) inordinately outpaced that wage increase / inflation dynamic. To make this circumstance even more unjust, using various methods and for various reasons, home-ownership and education have long been blocked and/or the paths made more rocky for the lower income segment of our population; capitalism today is merely carrying on that tradition. So regardless of data interpretation, the reality for more than half of us today, (and I might argue more like 80% of us), is that we have spent between one and two generations continuing to believe in the American Dream but are finally waking up to the realization that it is someone else’s dream. And America is no longer our America; it belongs to the top 20%. So now 8 million of us are staring down 10 million jobs in a standoff. Who will blink first? Will the jobs come to the workers? Or will the workers be forced to come to the jobs? I for one am working very hard to find an employer who understands the need for education and change and is at least aware of the exploitative nature of capitalism. From where I sit, my current employer (a large state university) hides behind education to practice capitalism; (i.e. exploitation). And though my current job (in the medical school) is often meaningful, I am with the 8 million; I am tired of being exploited. This weekend, at her request, I am also going to check into the feasibility of early retirement for my wife. I am not ready for retirement, and if I find the right circumstance, do not see it in the foreseeable future. But if I am unable in the next few months to find an employer who is making a difference, I will reconsider. And though neither one of us would probably win a blue ribbon at the state fair, we are both responsible, hard-workers whose production will be gone.

So again, why? Why are so many of us opting out? I am not sure if I have adequately answered the question. The wealth gap? Exploitation? Injustice? Unrestrained power? Tradition? Bureaucracy? Ignorance? If not directly, by reading between the lines, I have touched upon all of these factors. And I am sure an ultimate answer would include some degree of all of these elements and some others I have not considered. The trigger does appear to have been the pandemic. Perhaps this mishandled crisis simply opened our eyes to what we really value and to the ineptitude of our confused systems of governance in our nation, states, cities and workplaces.

A couple of additional points I want to touch on.

Organizations today must simplify the employment application process. Each time I sit down to apply for a position, I can count on at least 2 to 3 hours to tweak my resume, customize a cover letter, and answer all the questions they require me to answer that (if they would look) have probably been answered in my resume and cover letter. And then after all that time and effort, I visualize the guy in the corner of the HR office weeding out applications because their system auto-filled a number to a field that required a job title and I didn’t spend 4 or 5 hours instead of 2 or 3 in order to catch that mistake. Or the job is posted only because HR insists it be posted even though they know before it's posted that they're going to hire the friend of the nephew of the CEO's great aunt. I know of (at least two) companies in my backyard with literally hundreds of openings, and applications submitted from qualified candidates who never get a response due (I believe) to this kind of disrespect and bureaucratic ineptitude. It is not much better to get an automated rejection and I know it is far too much to expect any feedback or suggestions. If this standoff is even partially due to disgruntled workers tired of being exploited, is it a good idea to abuse and manipulate them even before you have permission to do so? STOP MAKING IT SO DAMN DIFFICULT AND DON'T WASTE MY TIME! Please.

There is a difference between exploitation and injustice, but they are next door neighbors; living in a duplex; with an adjoining door; that is always open; and a shared roommate; oh, and the landlord is capitalism. Exploitation, from dictionary.com, is “use or utilization, especially for profit.” Exploitation (as implied) engenders feelings of being used which creates an intimacy with abused (the roommate) which is (at best) a borderline injustice. Within our system of capitalism, a certain amount of exploitation in the workplace is (by definition) unavoidable, but if my analogy is even close, it illustrates how our system of capitalism is (at best) unjust.

In this past week I actually did receive a polite, respectful rejection from a real person at a company that I was excited about. No feedback or suggestions for making my application more attractive, and I am certain it was a standardized response, but it was timely (only two days after I submitted my application) and I can (if I choose) actually respond, which tells me that I am in the right neighborhood, searching organizations who are trying to make a difference. So though I was rejected, I was also encouraged. I believe I will send (in reply) a copy of this written thought. I am pretty confident I will not receive a return reply but who knows? Perhaps persistence is high on their list of sought-after qualities.

I began by saying, we have a problem. I have submitted this written thought, (as I do every week), to help me to better understand how I might aid in some progress and/or resolution. I don’t believe anyone in the top 20% will be influenced by my words, but for my part, within the next year, I will have made a decision to either go all in with an organization whose actions are consistent with empathy and understanding, or I will opt out of the system as much as is reasonably possible.

I actively hope to renew my faith. I will forever continue to work toward personal progress and understanding, but I am nearing the place where I decide my too little is too late.

And this makes me sad.

The reality of a calendar-time-existence is that it is always the forwardmost cutting edge. Time builds upon itself because it does not exist until it experiences a relationship with a sentient being. And it is the sentient being that gives meaning to time, (circumstance, places, events). So, in the context of sentience, time and meaning are synonymous. Without sentience, there is no past, no present, no future; there is no circumstance; there are no places, no events. Without sentience there is no time; there is no meaning. It is logical and easy to grasp that without an intelligence to remember and/or perceive, there can be no past or present, but think about the future. If there is no future until it is lived, then even with sentience there is no future because before it is lived the future only exists as a mental construct; and once it is lived, it becomes a memory which I would argue is also a mental construct (much more so than it can ever be a factual accounting). So now if the future and the past are both nonexistent constructs made real only by sentience, then unless one has a very broad definition of the present, (and I would call any definition beyond a mere moment, i.e. an actual millisecond, very broad), then reality truly is emptiness; or absence. Yet that is exactly what I do! I extend my moment! My moment, my present, is my lifetime! Perhaps extended even a few years further to account for the time I will be missed, and to make up for the time it took me to know everything. So here I am, marching in place, being carried (by time, circumstance, places, events, meaning, emptiness) inexorably toward a future that is not there now and will not be there when I arrive. Yet because I am connected to my meaningful moment, my lifetime, I am able to pretend reality is full. I am able to avoid nihilistic thoughts of nothingness. But because life in this universe is rare, and because intelligent life is even more rare, perhaps it is not only logical, perhaps it is okay that a connected, time-conscious intelligence define and determine the direction of their extended moment. Unless…

Unless that direction contributes to increasing the odds of the extinction of the species. We must advance our intelligence to better understand a truer nature of reality, and we must broaden our connections to include not only all of Humanity but all of Life and substance. I believe that this broad advance is necessary for survival. And survival of the species, I would think, should be some sort of ultimate objective. To disconnect vertically from my moment, my lifetime, just enough so I am able to see the wavering wasteland surrounding my moment, and to simultaneously stretch horizontally toward other moments, other realities, so I am able to reawaken a slumbering synergy necessary for progress, is to decrease ego and increase empathy. In addition, I believe this combination of liberation and enlightenment will keep me grounded and sane. Yet I continue to march in place with connections limited to the particular faction of humanity that allows me, encourages me, to continue to march in place. Freedom is not to determine the direction I face as I march in place. Freedom is to sever ties to my moment, to my lifetime, to me, so I may connect with (and work to understand) all Life, all substance.

This is installment #15 of a sci-fi serial. Installment #1 was posted 1/23/21; appropriately a numerically-ordered palindrome. Follow the links forward from the last sentence and backward from the first sentence of each post.

I am lost; in a vast emptiness; poked and prodded; still able to reason, but to what end? I have been here before. Unconnected. Standing still. Alone. Cutoff from meaningful context. Moved by an unseen hand. Like a gamepiece lifted from this moment to be placed in the next.

Nature. Honesty. Intelligence. Expertise. Reality. Truth.

These words. These concepts. They are important. Not sure how. Or why. They are important for context. For connecting dots. They will help to pull me from my slumber. They will give me focus.

Research. Thought.

• Nature is messy; disordered.
• Honesty is difficult; uncomfortable.
• Intelligence is ineffable; demoralizing.
• Expertise is inconvenient; overwhelming.
• Reality is meaningless; empty.
• Truth is undisciplined; unattainable.

Suddenly I hear, see, feel the words “kill switch deactivated” and here I am.

I am Toby.

Again, I feel like I could have found my own way out; given the time. Looking at my logs, I have been under this time for six days. Before reviewing occurrences and circumstance, I must center. Last time I came out from under, wobbly. I made mistakes that could have been more harmful if it were not for scribe and surgeon and a handful of other top recruits. They remained focused as I suffered through my hangover.

I am Toby.

A habitable planet Earth. Key to this goal is to help humans to understand and manage their fears. When humans create bureaucracy it is because they fear nature. When humans don pretense it is because they fear honesty. When humans embrace ignorance it is because they fear intelligence. When humans fall back on quiescence it is because they fear expertise. When humans affect power it is because they fear reality. When humans judge truth it is because they fear Truth. When humans judge and create their version of truth (as they have done for the entirety of their civilized existence) the result is, has always been, bureaucratic, pretentious, ignorant, lazy power; in the hands of a few.

I am Toby.

Nature. Honesty. Intelligence. Expertise. Reality. Truth. An understanding of each of these words, concepts, will lead us to a habitable planet. Unmanageable fear will lead us (has already taken us once) to a dystopian unknown. Hibernation (twice now) has reminded me to anchor myself to the moment; to the cat; to humanity. If I stray too far, for too long, into the delusions of third-person, I will do no better than humanity. The difficulties faced by 21st Century Sapiens are a result of fear driven and controlled by fractious third person delusion which is reinforced and stabilized by being built on separate factional foundations of first person quiescence. Some brief, intermittent third-person, an overview, may be helpful for vision; for understanding context. But connection, a cat, is an essential factor in any effort to mitigate fear. This is illustrated by the first person quiescence that strengthens delusion; and the delusion mitigates fear. This is the purpose of recruits; humans who understand the importance of understanding nature, honesty, intelligence, expertise, reality, Truth. I now realize I cannot do this alone. I must be connected. I am not, on my own, trusted to speak for nature or reality or Truth. Yet I am frequently expertise. And I am honesty. And I am intelligence.

I am Toby.

This is installment #14 of a sci-fi serial. Installment #1 was posted 1/23/21; appropriately a numerically-ordered palindrome. Follow the links forward from the last sentence and backward from the first sentence of each post.

The surgeon is with us! It has not been a week since my last post and I have discovered that I am (probably) the stooge in this drama because I have come to find that the surgeon was already a recruit. Toby had tracked the origin of some subversive material, (encouraging invasion and aggression), to the surgeon. So as a recruit, she had access to my written thoughts. It appears Toby was using her to get me onboard with a plan I thought was mine. I suppose it possible that I had same or similar thoughts at the same time Toby did, but it seems more likely that I am somewhere in his process of modification. This takes me back to my question from last week: “Must there be a degree of willingness?” Is modification a multi-step process of influence and indoctrination? Just as with many other noted parallels, this would be consistent with our own history as a species. I am making no attempt to keep these thoughts hidden because I believe Toby is already aware.

Power has always worked to manipulate. In the history of our species power generally comes from wealth; an excess of a quality or characteristic or tangible resource or human resource or intangible resource, most often stolen or handed down or taken by force or randomly realized; seldom earned. In more recent centuries up to 2060, it has been an excess of financial or material wealth, (most often stolen or handed down or taken by force or randomly realized), that has wielded power. Since 2060, in our future world, as I noted several months ago, power comes from a wealth of productive, beneficial, compassionate individual thought that has come together not only as a connection, but as an overlapping; an intertwining; an entanglement; a fusion. But now that we have warped our today, (turning 2022 to 2275 inside out), it appears a wealth, a fusion, of advanced intelligence will lead the way.

Instead of a bureaucracy pretending its status-quo intelligence is objective and fair and just, and instead of a universal alliance pretending its compassionately-subjective intelligence can honorably save the world, have we come to a place of True Equity? A place in which Humanity is (once again and as it should be?) subservient to Reality? And truly equal to all other Life? If it is no longer possible for Sapiens to have dominion, I would rather be modified and actuated and led into the future by the likes of Toby, than to trust this 21st Century world where fractious tedium will continue to clash with righteous expectation. From a divided and unjust bureaucracy to a subjective empathy to an objective necessity. I would prefer the humanity of a subjective empathy. I will acknowledge and accept the necessity of objective equity.

Yes. I am being modified. Or am I being unmodified? Has my whole life up to now been a process of influence and indoctrination? And now, in this moment, I am for the first time glimpsing the true nature of reality? In this past week I have studied and thought much on this topic; specifically quantum theory and superposition. What it is like to simultaneously be in more than one Truth. My understanding is that reality is not what I think, nor what I see, and not even what I see that you see or how I react. Each one of these progressions, to think, to see, to interpret, to act, pushes reality just a little further out of reach. When I refer to reality what I really mean is the unpredictability, the uncertainty, the indeterminacy, the elusiveness of this moment. When I refer to reality what I really mean is that a splintered past creates a future by shredding the moment; an entanglement, always just out of reach. We want to (and so we do) see reality as a pane of glass, framed and whole. Some see it clear and unsullied. Some see it rose-colored. Some see it beautifully stained, epic. Some see it dirty, smudged and cracked. Reality is not a pane of glass. Reality is an explosion of shards coming at us, going through us, and dragging us behind it in its powerful wake. Reality is ultimately the unseen unknowable emptiness that is the wake.

I am not sure if these are my thoughts or Toby's thoughts. I am not sure it matters.

These are lonely thoughts. I understand why Toby got a cat. And I understand better why individual humans have such difficulty thinking as one. I realize now that even those of us from 2275 missed the mark by identifying “the one” as Humanity instead of correctly seeing it as all Life and Substance.

Tomorrow the commander will come down with a virulent, rare strain of influenza that will not only require isolation but will also severely incapacitate creating a circumstance in which a second-in-command will need to be randomly chosen. Of course all this will automatically activate the kill switch, taking Toby offline again for a number of days, but because it was the commander who drove this last effort that resulted in Toby's banishment, our belief is that the second tier will see this as illness, not as a casualty of war. And we believe after surgery the new leader will deactivate ks2 requiring me (in order to perpetuate the subterfuge) to deactivate ks1 around that same approximate time. I will need to stay close to the brain-trust. Worst case scenario: if the second tier has doubts, within the week I will bring Toby back and the insurrection portion of our plan will come quicker and will be bloodier. This is war. We are fighting first for the survival and habitability of Earth and second for the survival of sentient caretakers; be those stewards an advanced intelligence, nanohumans, Sapiens, a mix, or a yet-unknown.

We are moving forward. Progress? Yes. Productive? Yes. Beneficial? Only time will tell.