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If I were to depart from this world today, what intangibles would I leave behind? What kind of legacy? Or perhaps more importantly, would I be satisfied with the exoteric goodness I have left in my wake? (Alright - I am never satisfied, but would I be okay with it?) Or, (the same question rephrased) am I okay with the exoteric goodness that I have left thus far?

The other question that comes to mind is 'Would others be satisfied with the intangibles I would leave behind?' I'm not sure one could find 'uninhibited truthfulness' in this regard, from those who are close. I believe many of us leave this earthly plane with much goodwill emanating from those who know us, as they will likely choose to focus on the positive aspects of our lifetime and forgive our failings. Don't misunderstand. This is good and I would not want it to change. But I believe it would be 3 or 4 generations removed before one could find uninhibited truthfulness, and by then (unless you are somehow on the world stage) chances are your legacy has become largely anecdotal. Again, don't misunderstand. This is also as it should be because the exoteric goodness you leave behind is of your own making and the anonymity (once recognized) should encourage Goodness for the sake of Goodness, with no ulterior motive. And, only you can judge your satisfaction with that potential.

It is late ... I will think more about this tomorrow ...

I just realized that I am putting 'today' off until tomorrow within the context of a premise in which there is no tomorrow. I did so innocently and that bothers me. It is a serious question that may determine or (at the least) influence Happiness. According to some thinkers (including Aristotle), Happiness can only be judged over an entire lifetime (i.e. one's legacy) and if I am not okay with it, I have work to do today - not tomorrow.

Having respectfully acknowledged the serious nature of this topic, there is a point when words and thoughts become muddled and sleep is necessary. I hope to appreciate my next 'today' tomorrow and take advantage of that opportunity to pursue further clarification, depth, complexity, and understanding ...

... I am here today.

As Willie Nelson said, "yesterday's dead and tomorrow is blind."

I have work to do.

So how do I go about, in a single day, the monumental, daunting task of creating a legacy? ...

I have some ideas ...

First, I feel like whatever I do to this end should be active and not passive. This is why I write. For me, the written word is active thought. This is also why I make mistakes within the context of daily activity. Passivity may eliminate or reduce errors, but at what cost? Activity is necessary for results and forward movement, but can at times be interpreted as controversial and/or adversarial. Inactivity is stale and boring and inhibits growth, but does at times provide the warmth and safety of a (matrix-like) comfort zone.

Next, (perhaps a corollary to being active) - purposeful passion. I believe that one should exhibit a mindful, determined enthusiasm for thoughts and behaviors throughout the day. This quality can exacerbate the potentially adversarial nature of being active, but can/should be tempered with mindfulness. It can be difficult to be passionate about some mundane, required daily activities. I avoid apathy by seeking new discoveries; making new connections; thinking outside the box about the activity; or (if it is a truly mindless activity) writing in my head (i.e. Active Thought). Additionally, listening to music or contemplating art, literature, philosophy, or nature helps me to stay thoughtfully active.

Next, I believe the flexibility to adjust or change for the sake of learning and growth is very important. Be it opinions, perspective, behaviors, or simply outdated habits, one should continue to evolve. Listening with empathy and compassion is a key component of adaptability. And this openness to change also helps to mitigate the potential adversarial impact of being passionately active.

Finally, I believe that a sense of humor, or the ability to not take oneself and/or one's place in this world too seriously, is (though seemingly contradictory) a seriously consequential aspect of exoteric goodness. As noted in this previous post Epictetus reminds us that we have nothing to lose in this world because this world owes us nothing. Earthly possessions (including this physical body) are temporary and are not 'taken' from us, but simply returned from whence they came. This is pretty heady stuff, but it helps us to not take our physical selves or our place in this world too seriously by freeing us from these earthly constraints and reminding us that there are 'other-worldly' considerations such as inner peace and exoteric goodness that should be taken more seriously. A sense of humor - the ability to laugh at earthly fumblings and foibles and quickly move on - will allow for a more focused pursuit of Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness.

I have no intention of departing this world any time soon. Regardless of my intentions though, I should remind myself daily that anything of, from, or for this world (including my tangible, physical being) can be snatched from my mental grasp in less time than it takes to place the period at the end of this sentence.

I should remind myself daily that I have work to do.

1. Active thought and action
2. Purposeful passion
3. Openness to change
4. A sense of humor

I believe these 4 components as described, will assist me in creating a legacy that emphasizes Goodness for the sake of Goodness; a legacy that I can live with - or (when the time comes) not.

So many questions - Big Questions. It seems we touch upon them every week. Truth? Wisdom? Purpose? Inner Peace? Exoteric Goodness? I want to know. What are they? How and/or where do I find them? Why are they 'Big Questions?' And (the question of the week) why are the answers so elusive?

Is it a test? - Some would say so. But would those who believe it's a test, also believe they have the answer(s)? No one likes to fail, so if one believes it is a test, it is logical then that they would also believe the answer(s) are either attainable or in hand. If I believed this, I would not be asking ...

A Karmic loop then? A closed system where what goes around truly does come around? Yin and Yang? A finite number of souls plus infinite lifetimes equals eternally perfect balance? While there may be some truths here, 'eternally perfect balance' doesn't feel like THE answer. It seems contradictory in that to know balance you must first know both extremes and yet most (if not all) extremes are unattainable perfections. Therefore perfect balance is as unrealistic as Perfect Wisdom or Perfect Truth. And, a closed loop system feels too neat and tidy to account for the messiness of humanity.

For the sake of focus, I will ask again - why are the answers so elusive? There must be a reason; and if we can find that reason, one would think it would bring us closer to the answer(s).

Could it simply be that this imperfect human mind and body is incapable of knowing perfection? It must be stored somewhere within our (collective?) memory or subconscious; otherwise we would not look for the answer(s), strive for perfection, or even begin to understand its possibility. This explanation feels more realistic, but it doesn't feel complete; it does not satisfy; it is boring; I am looking for more.

Are we perhaps, on some level, averse to the answer(s)? Do we have natural leanings that discourage knowing the opposite end of the spectrum? Take Beauty for example. We know it when we experience it, and we are attracted to it. Yet near the opposite extreme (though we might be inclined to deny this) at times we are also simultaneously attracted to and repulsed by the ugly and the perverse. Is this morbid curiosity an example of a subconscious need to know opposite extremes in order to approach Perfection? (As previously noted, balance is unrealistic without first identifying/knowing the extremes.) Toss entropy into this equation (which in my mind will continue to push the extremes further and further from our reach) and add the imperfect nature of humanity, and perhaps we are closer to explaining the elusive nature of answer(s). But an explanation is not the same as an understanding. And I really don't feel any closer to the answer(s).

So digging deeper, I still have to ask Why? If it is a test, I am failing. If it is Yin and Yang, then why this burning to know Why? If it is a struggle between our imperfect human definitions of wisdom, truth, purpose, peace, and goodness, and our desire to know the extremes, then how do I shed my humanity and still know reality as it applies to daily existence?

When I attempt to enfold, incorporate, or otherwise combine spirituality, intuition, emotion, passion, mindfulness, logic, reason, compassion, circumstance, humanity, and physicality, the result is much the same as when one combines varying amounts of the colors red, blue, yellow, and green; each one is changed by the others. Occasionally we may successfully separate a specific element thus experiencing its true intensity (or close to it) for a short period of time, but this earthly plane will always place certain demands upon us that in turn dilutes the palette. I have not yet found a way to layer them so they are joined yet distinct; so that the Truth and Wisdom of one plane can be coupled with that of another (and so on throughout all the planes) in order to multiply intensity, with no adulteration; and perhaps allow one to see an ultimate Truth.

Purple and orange are nice colors. As are magenta and cyan. I'm not certain though that I could identify the exact proportional origin of chartreuse or periwinkle. And when one starts mixing passion with reason with emotion with circumstance with ... The Truth is diluted. This may explain 'how' the answers become muddled, but it still does not adequately explain 'why' they seem out of reach.

Why are we unable to see the entire palette clearly, sharply, and distinctly with each truth pixelated and shining brightly to create a cohesive vision and understanding of Perfect Truth. Perhaps the answer(s) would be clearer with better reception; better tuning; better focus - High Def Happiness. It's a nice thought, but I'm not sure (after 2 days of mulling it over) that it is realistic. I believe the intensity and purity of all that Truth may overwhelm; may strike us blind and send us to, or over, the brink. That is, if our imperfect, limited vision could even take in the entire big picture.

It now makes more sense to think in terms of Perfect Balance. But, as previously stated, to know Perfect Balance one must first know the opposite extremes which are unattainable ideals that continue to be pushed further out of reach due to entropy. (Now I feel as close as I've been to understanding why the answer(s) are so elusive.) Imagine a potentially infinite number of teeter-totters evenly spaced and all sharing a single fulcrum placed in the exact center of a circle. Imagine all of this mounted on a circling merry-go-round. Each teeter-totter represents a component or sub-component of Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness. With our mind's-eye we are scrambling over multiple teeter-totters at once, attempting to understand the gravity as it impacts each opposite end (extreme) of each and every teeter-totter in order to find its Perfect Balance and calm/still its disturbing, vertiginous motion. Yet as we scramble, we find we can never reach either end of any of them. So when we've reached as far towards the circumference as we're able, and scramble back towards the center, we then seem to get closer to the balance we seek. Occasionally we get lucky and accidentally land on the exact center (which we are blind to) and for a fleeting moment we know Perfect Balance - for that one component. With a little more effort and luck we may occasionally experience it for more than one component at a time. These teasers may explain why we continue to seek the answer(s) and the entire construct may explain why the answer(s) are so elusive. The constant whirling motion of the merry-go-round by itself will not allow Perfect stillness, and with entropy constantly extending the multiple teetering/tottering diameters (thus enlarging the merry-go-round) it appears to be an exercise in futility.

So is it an exercise in futility? Or does this mental construct go beyond an explanation and assist in understanding and bring me closer to answers? I believe it does bring me closer to answers in that it encourages me to continue scrambling; reaching for extremes and seeking a center. And when I experience that fleeting moment of calm as a result of this effort, it drives me to fervently continue my search.

A final note - If you think you have found the fulcrum; if you think you are balanced and/or centered; you are probably just tightly hanging on somewhere near the center, with your eyes closed. Let go, open your eyes, move around, and enjoy the ride.

There are times when one feels the need to make a concession to humanity by allowing earthly responsibilities to take precedence over spiritual growth. In fact, this could describe the first years or even decades of a Lifetime. Hopefully in every Life there will come a time when spiritual matters announce their sense of urgency and we listen. Once we have heard that call, we will still have periods of time when we are called back to attend to earthly matters. This is okay as long as the search for Wisdom and Truth remains on the radar, and is attended to with increasing frequency as earthly matters settle.

There are times when it feels that ongoing earthly matters predominate and refuse to settle; going on and on ... and on ... ... and on. When this is the case perhaps one should consider sacrificing carefully chosen earthly priorities for the greater good. Because what greater good is there than spiritual matters? I say 'carefully chosen' because I strongly believe that our responsibilities to our humanity and to others must be taken seriously. When made, sacrifices should be balanced by (or exceeded by) the value gained as a result of the sacrifice; both personally and communally.

This may not always be possible in that one cannot presume to know another's priorities or values. If my emphasis is on seeking Truth and Wisdom (spiritual matters) and another's emphasis is on securing earthly / physical comforts, then the value gained by a sacrifice in one area will be judged differently by the different viewpoints. This is going to happen, and unfortunately in the narcissistic materialism of today it may happen frequently. So occasionally one may be compelled to go against majority opinion and follow one's heart/soul/instinct to stay their spiritual path.

For me (and I believe for many) the pursuit of spiritual matters helps to settle or calm earthly matters. So if this - a choice between earthly matters and spiritual matters - is the dilemma, it would seem that spiritual matters would be of greater benefit (particularly from a long-term perspective); though as implied in the phrase 'narcissistic materialism' earthly matters often have a stronger gravitational pull, prompting us to prioritize in that direction.

I said a few weeks ago (in this post) that in order to fly I had to 1) 'let go' to make gravity disappear, or 2) realize that gravity is nonexistent; merely a construct within my mind. Either way, earthly considerations seem to pale and grow small in the lightness of flight.

The search for Truth, Wisdom, and ultimately Happiness is a spiritual matter. The quest for comfort, security, enjoyment, and happiness is largely an earthly matter, though some elements can and do contribute to Happiness. When uncertainties exist, I would like to think I resist gravity and consciously move toward spirituality. As always, the reality may differ from circumstance to circumstance.

Bottom Line - To grow spiritually will add value to our daily existence; both personally and communally.

I am debating tranquility vs. intensity.

A few weeks ago in the post Reconciling Happiness I clearly landed on the side of intensity, as I thought that would more likely close the gap on Happiness. This week I am shopping for tranquility but finding, so far, they don't have my size.

Is there a 'Big and Tall' store for tranquility that will adequately cover the degree of intensity I bring to most endeavors?

Tranquility - an inner calm allowing Wisdom and Truth to close the gap on me; much like sitting quietly in the forest until the rabbits and deer become unafraid and occasionally pass nearby; sudden movements (or even slight movements) send them scampering; but in its midst, such tranquility brings a feeling of oneness.

Yet whenever I try to cloak myself in tranquility I have bits and pieces of intensity hanging out here and there. (How gauche ...) Truth and Wisdom keeps its distance, and I am not fully engaged in either direction.

I am going to search for new perspectives over the next day or two ...

... Mid-(next day or two) thought - I have said it before; "just let go." ...

... Focus ... Look for Subtleties ... Understand Nuance.

Examine a work of art and absorb its detail, beauty, and symbolism.

Listen to a piece of music and feel its character, depth, and complexities.

Read a bit of literature and be absorbed by its emotion, meaning, and movement.

Sit in nature and enjoy its cycles, solitude, and uninhibited freedom.

Flow ... Harmonize ... Sway with Rhythm.

No Distractions ... No Self-Consciousness ... No Gravity.

Tranquility - Quietly observe Truth and Wisdom moving about in their natural habitat.

Music, Art, Literature, and Nature - colleagues in my search for inner peace. My goal is to one day be able to go to that inner peace with no assistance, but until then these are my chosen partners. I will/must turn to them more frequently.

I'm not doing away with intensity ... (in fact, there's a bit peeking out now) ... but this week I have rediscovered the value of tranquility. They both have their place.

Tranquintensility - to be intensely tranquil. Perhaps that is not possible. ... ... ... Perhaps I will find a way.

Clippety-clop.

... A single set of hooves on a cobblestone street. Pleasant; even soothing as it passes by and fades into the distance.

Clippety-clop Clippety-CLOP CLIPPETY-CLOP.

... Many sets of hooves thundering by. Powerful; even frightening as they shake the very ground and leave bystanders breathless.

CLIPPETY-CLOP CLIPPETTY-CLOP CLIPPETY-CLOP CLIPPETTY-CLOP CLIPPETY-CLOP CLIPPETTY-CLOP.

... A stampede bearing down with electrifying brutality. Overwhelming; uncontrollable; portentous.

CLIPPETTY-CLOP CLOP-CLIPPETTY CLIPPETTY-CLOP CLOP-CLIPPETTY CLIPPETTY-CLOP CLOP-CLIPPETTY CLIPPETTY-CLOP CLOP-CLIPPETTY CLIPPETTY-CLOP CLOP-CLIPPETTY CLIPPETTY-CLOP CLOP-CLIPPETTY.

... Two stampeding herds crashing head-on.

1. Emotions; (base; instinctive).
2. Feelings; (identifiable; recognizable; fewer sharp edges).
3. Thoughts.
4. Words.
5. Actions.

Typically this is the process, (in the order listed above), that can lead to a stampede. Insert "serious, contemplative reflection/analysis" somewhere before #4 and you create an opportunity - An opportunity to control potential conflict; whether it be inner conflict or conflict with others. This is true even when the emotions involved are positive.

I believe we can learn and grow from conflict which of course closes the gap on Happiness, but I believe we can find more Truth and Wisdom through conflict resolution.

Resolving inner conflict is a personal exercise handled individually. Resolving conflict with others should be a mutually beneficial exercise incorporating respect, empathetic listening, and tightly-controlled emotions/feelings.

I am not schooled in 'conflict resolution' and claim no expertise, but from a perspective of learning and growth it seems that the first step should be to identify and agree on what (specifically) the disagreement is. This should be documented to assist both parties/sides in staying focused and on-track. Once this is done mindsets should be examined. This could be done by allowing each party/side to choose 2 items from the list below that (in combination) best communicates their current stance or mindset:

• I Could Be Wrong.
• You Could Be Wrong.
• I Could Be Wrong.
• You Could Be Wrong.
• I Could Be Wrong.
• You Could Be Wrong.
• I Could Be Wrong.
• You Could Be Wrong.

This selection process must be done with complete uninhibited truthfulness; otherwise resolution will ultimately be thwarted by deception.

The hope is that each party will (truthfully) concede the possibility that they could be wrong (by choosing one of each different item from the list above). Once this step is taken, an avenue for dialogue has been opened. From there each party should be given the opportunity to explain how they could be wrong and how the other party could be wrong, and then with respect, empathetic listening, and controlled emotions, work towards resolution.

If one or both parties choose two 'You Could Be Wrong' items, then the disagreement must be re-examined and broken down into smaller increments (documented and agreed upon) in which concessions can be made. Of course, realistically, if a party chooses two 'You Could Be Wrong' items and that party is the ultimate decision-maker, then the decision is likely made.

If anyone chooses two 'I Could Be Wrong' items (unlikely), then the conflict is also resolved.

Conflict is an opportunity. It is sad that anyone would presume to always know best and bypass that chance to close the gap on Happiness. I know this from experience; but would like to think that I am evolving.