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I am working this week to reconcile competence and improvement with understanding and equity.

• To be understanding is to be nice; as it should be.
• To be competent is to be truthful; construed by some as insensitive.
• The incompetent still need to be significant, contribute, and (in today’s world) earn a living.
• Objectively, an individual is a resource.
• Incompetence is not a reflection of an individual. Incompetence is a misplaced human resource.
• A reallocation of human resources is required for improvement.
• Financial compensation is a resource.
• A reallocation of financial resources is required for equity.
• Improvement requires competence.
• The long-term survival of Humanity requires improvement.
• Equity requires understanding.
• The day-to-day survival of the individual requires equity.
• To reallocate resources requires power.
• Power is afraid.
• Power is afraid that a reallocation of financial resources would diminish their compensation thus their power.
• Power is afraid that an equitable reallocation of human resources would require a reallocation of financial resources.
• So, power has created a system in which the privileged are gently guided on unique journeys to amazing accomplishments as enablers and defenders of the status quo.
• So, power has created a system in which the underprivileged, (the majority), are gently misguided, ill-advised, misled, divided, misused, stirred, manipulated, set against each other, distanced, displaced, oppressed.

So I believe I have determined that though competence and improvement appear to be at odds with understanding and equity, they are so only when we accept or believe the superficial rhetorical definitions spewed by power. Power wants us to believe that equity hinders improvement because power is afraid. It is power that holds us back, maintaining status quo, working very hard to keep us not only from equity but in turn competence, improvement, and understanding. If power weren’t afraid (and all-powerful) we could reallocate and make strides toward both long-term and day-to-day survival.

Here is an example of how power works to maintain. Today higher education is still largely for the privileged and the potentially-privileged (a potential that is still largely determined by power). The concepts, gently guided – unique journey – amazing accomplishments (from a bullet point above), came in an email directly from a large state university’s Student Success office reminding faculty and staff that “student success and retention are at an all-time high,” and encouraging us to continue this trend. When the students appear to do well, we look good and everyone is comfortable and happy so why wouldn’t we continue to gently guide each other into the jaws of this self-fulfilling prophecy. And this is our idea, (i.e. power’s definition), of understanding and equity – enabling the privileged and aspirants-to-privileged to become enablers and defenders.

Having worked for more than 20 employers over 5 decades, I also see this dynamic asserting itself more and more in the workplace. I believe the correlation between competence and compensation in the workplace has become less and less in recent decades. I don’t believe it has ever been what the ‘American Dream’ would have me believe. I am currently in a circumstance in which there is little to no correlation between competence and compensation, and I believe the larger an organization the more so this is true. From where I sit, the process by which compensation is decided is more strongly correlated with the extent to which one is an enabler and defender of the status quo than it is with competence. And just as with the students, we are all amazing and outstanding and phenomenal and great and happy and comfortable. Though obviously this comfortable lack of progress should not positively influence one’s compensation, and though one might be inclined to argue that competence should more positively correlate with compensation (as I appear to do up to now in this paragraph), if incompetence is merely a misplaced resource, then instead I would have to argue that one’s degree of competence or incompetence in a specific job should also not positively or negatively influence one’s compensation but should instead trigger a reallocation of human resources. And some might say, “yes, reallocate – the incompetent should be fired and sent on their merry way to find a new job.” But that is not understanding or equitable partially because this method of reallocating financial resources is moving in the wrong direction and (perhaps) largely due to the multitude of interpretations for incompetent. Again, incompetence is not a reflection of an individual; incompetence is a reflection of a system in which a human resource is misplaced.

Yet there remains a stigma associated with incompetence – there should not be. The shame is on power, and on secondary power; all those who work so very hard to maintain status quo. The irreconcilable difference here is not between equity and improvement or between understanding and competence; the irreconcilable difference here is between the pretense of entitlement and the day-to-day and long-term survival of the individual and the species.

Shame on me, shame on you, shame on us.

To question in an effort to change for the better could be taken for what it is, (an effort to change for the better), which should lead to a back and forth discussion and listening for understanding. But instead, an effort to change things for the better is far too often construed by the one being questioned as an attack and an attack instinctively triggers defensiveness. In defensive mode, instead of an exchange of words, one throws up a wall of words to...

1. Protect.
2. Dilute their responsibility.
3. Repudiate, discredit, invalidate the inquisitor.
4. Hide from the inquisition.

Large, departmentalized, bureaucratic organizations have become particularly adept at this, utilizing specialized departments, (legal and HR), to deflect and deter incoming charges. Smaller organizations, departments, and even entrenched individuals are also often quite good at dodging (what they see as) bullets. A single individual looking to make things better has no chance.

I could always do better. I am never good enough. I am constantly working to improve process. And in a new circumstance I am often able to do so – to a point; and to that point the effort also improves me. But ever since my fall from grace, (i.e. disability), I invariably, inevitably come to that point where I am stymied; not because of my potential or my capabilities or my willingness but because for most others it seems good enough is good enough. And to be told you could do better is interpreted as you are not good enough which is construed as an attack. So when I reach this plateau and I look around at the others happily wandering about and when I point and ask why aren’t we climbing that mountain or clearing that brush or blazing a new trail through that forest they look at me like I’m nuts and like I’ve hurt their feelings and they go back to polishing their walls of words, fluffing their plateau pillows, making themselves more comfortable. And so after a time, plateaued, I start looking for a new circumstance in which I can improve process. But of late, looking for a new circumstance, I am finding that my desire to make things better comes across so strongly I am scaring people away long before I am even invited to begin the climb to their plateau.

So, after years, decades of cycling through this inanity I am asking myself, is it no longer possible for me as a truthful senior with a disability to be taken seriously?

From my experience, the following could be consistently applied to any layered, hierarchical organization:

• There is Power: those who call the shots from behind their walls of words; almost always associated with greater income and/or wealth.
• There is secondary power: defenders of power, word-wall architects, enablers of status quo.
• There is the flock: followers, biding their time, fluffing plateau pillows, pretending to contribute.
• There are new arrivals: making their way to the plateau, perhaps adding a spark to a segment of the flock, perhaps even improving some process along the way.
• There are malcontents: part of a flock but looking for a better flock, or a better circumstance, or looking to make existing circumstance better. Malcontents only fluff plateau pillows when forced.

I am a malcontent who first finds my way to the plateau then works very hard to make existing circumstance better and only after considerable-effort-to-no-avail do I look for a new circumstance in which I can make a difference – at least during my climb to a new plateau.

Human individuals fear insignificance. We work to counter or fill this emptiness with Self-Righteous Pretense or with Reasoned Action or with a mixture from somewhere along that spectrum.

Hope: an unburst bubble.

Active Hope: hope filled with reasoned action.

Reasoned Action: considered conduct from intelligent, dispassionate thought.

Self-Righteous Pretense: sudsy weightless blather.

Self-Righteous Pretense works to hide fear and float hope and the outcome is insubstantial at best.

Reasoned Action works to manage fear and structure hope and the outcome is a learning experience at worst.

Every decision that comes my way is closely shadowed by my fear of insignificance.

To surround one’s self with competence inspires Reasoned Action.

To surround one’s self with competence may also exacerbate one’s fear of insignificance.

Who you surround yourself with and how you treat them is an indication of which end of the spectrum, (Self-Righteous Pretense or Reasoned Action), you gravitate toward.

Too often we choose comfort over improvement, security instead of progress, people like us rather than those we might learn from.

We talk about culture and diversity but we make decisions and we act according to fit.

Fit: the perceived potential for adapting. Suitability, agreeability, accordant cooperation.

Diversity: a perceived or actual reality of being dissimilar or distinct in character and disposition. Difference.

Fit and Diversity are mutually exclusive.

Yet as we make our decisions and act according to fit, we still insist upon talking about culture and diversity.

Groups of like-minded individuals are more inclined toward Self-Righteous Pretense than Reasoned Action.

Talk is cheap.

Fit is more conducive to longer-term relationships.

Diversity is more conducive to creativity and problem-solving.

For it to be Diversity, everyone in the circumstance must feel it.

Suddenly, instead of same old vs. same old it has become fist-pumping blood-spattered hillbilly American patriotism vs. Same old same old. And in recent decades we have become an either/or nation incapable of subtlety, finesse, or autonomous individual change. So of course, true to our consumerist nature we will not see beyond the anticipation of something new and exciting; even when new and exciting is only relatively new; even when new and exciting repeatedly and continuously fails to fulfill.

It fails to fulfill because the anticipation is but hollow hope, and when the objective is attained, when that bubble bursts, we may work for a time to retain that baseless feeling of confidence and possibility but for most of us it does not take long to give it up and fall back on habit. And that habit has become divisiveness – pain – confusion – either/or – the next latest greatest.

And all this flitting about from one unburst bubble to the next, driven by a bit of manic desperation, knowing deep down that in the short run we’re standing still and in the long run we’re not keeping up, you’d think that more of us would work toward improvement, (and at least individual) fulfillment. But even those who do consider and encourage this active hope, (hope filled out with reasoned action), cannot ignore how today’s reality of 8+ billion people alongside the ever-growing wealth, income, and power gaps severely limits the efficacy of autonomous individual change.

And personal circumstance can further complicate and hinder progress. For example, to all this I can add my personal limitation of senior citizenry, (a limitation not of capability, contribution, or potential, but of opportunity); a circumstance that I recognize as a better circumstance than many (probably most) yet still a circumstance in which I am sadly contemplating retirement. It would be a mutual loss.

No, I am not new and exciting. I apparently do not spark imaginations nor do I often find occasion to pump my fist. And the closest I come to blood-spattered is as a pedestrian on my daily 4 mile trek to work; but even that is, well, pedestrian. If you look closely though, I am also not hollow. I work to fill my hope. There is substantial and even essential reasoned action within my method and my madness. And I’m not sure you can say that about our latest and greatest – or even our same old, same old.

Shingles triggers hives that bring on stress that exacerbates both Shingles and hives.

Political divisiveness triggers bombast that brings on closed-minded ignorance that exacerbates both divisiveness and bombast.

Power triggers self-importance that brings on indifference that exacerbates both power and self-importance.

Insignificance triggers anxiety that brings on confused indecisiveness that exacerbates both insignificance and anxiety.

Acclaim triggers pretense that brings on exaggeration that exacerbates both acclaim and pretense.

Certainty triggers overconfidence that brings on delusions that exacerbate both certainty and overconfidence.

Conformity triggers a benign negligence that brings on an impression of safety and security that exacerbates both conformity and negligence.

Taylor Swift triggers fervor that brings on frenzy that exacerbates both Taylor Swift and fervor.

Fervor triggers gall that brings on recklessness that exacerbates both fervor and gall.

Vanity triggers insecurity that brings on defensiveness that exacerbates both vanity and insecurity.

Existence triggers denial that brings on belief that exacerbates both existence and denial.

Healthcare visits trigger more healthcare visits that bring on excessive (often unnecessary) concern that exacerbates both Healthcare visits and more Healthcare visits.