hopelesshappiness.com

Human individuals fear insignificance. We work to counter or fill this emptiness with Self-Righteous Pretense or with Reasoned Action or with a mixture from somewhere along that spectrum.

Hope: an unburst bubble.

Active Hope: hope filled with reasoned action.

Reasoned Action: considered conduct from intelligent, dispassionate thought.

Self-Righteous Pretense: sudsy weightless blather.

Self-Righteous Pretense works to hide fear and float hope and the outcome is insubstantial at best.

Reasoned Action works to manage fear and structure hope and the outcome is a learning experience at worst.

Every decision that comes my way is closely shadowed by my fear of insignificance.

To surround one’s self with competence inspires Reasoned Action.

To surround one’s self with competence may also exacerbate one’s fear of insignificance.

Who you surround yourself with and how you treat them is an indication of which end of the spectrum, (Self-Righteous Pretense or Reasoned Action), you gravitate toward.

Too often we choose comfort over improvement, security instead of progress, people like us rather than those we might learn from.

We talk about culture and diversity but we make decisions and we act according to fit.

Fit: the perceived potential for adapting. Suitability, agreeability, accordant cooperation.

Diversity: a perceived or actual reality of being dissimilar or distinct in character and disposition. Difference.

Fit and Diversity are mutually exclusive.

Yet as we make our decisions and act according to fit, we still insist upon talking about culture and diversity.

Groups of like-minded individuals are more inclined toward Self-Righteous Pretense than Reasoned Action.

Talk is cheap.

Fit is more conducive to longer-term relationships.

Diversity is more conducive to creativity and problem-solving.

For it to be Diversity, everyone in the circumstance must feel it.

Suddenly, instead of same old vs. same old it has become fist-pumping blood-spattered hillbilly American patriotism vs. Same old same old. And in recent decades we have become an either/or nation incapable of subtlety, finesse, or autonomous individual change. So of course, true to our consumerist nature we will not see beyond the anticipation of something new and exciting; even when new and exciting is only relatively new; even when new and exciting repeatedly and continuously fails to fulfill.

It fails to fulfill because the anticipation is but hollow hope, and when the objective is attained, when that bubble bursts, we may work for a time to retain that baseless feeling of confidence and possibility but for most of us it does not take long to give it up and fall back on habit. And that habit has become divisiveness – pain – confusion – either/or – the next latest greatest.

And all this flitting about from one unburst bubble to the next, driven by a bit of manic desperation, knowing deep down that in the short run we’re standing still and in the long run we’re not keeping up, you’d think that more of us would work toward improvement, (and at least individual) fulfillment. But even those who do consider and encourage this active hope, (hope filled out with reasoned action), cannot ignore how today’s reality of 8+ billion people alongside the ever-growing wealth, income, and power gaps severely limits the efficacy of autonomous individual change.

And personal circumstance can further complicate and hinder progress. For example, to all this I can add my personal limitation of senior citizenry, (a limitation not of capability, contribution, or potential, but of opportunity); a circumstance that I recognize as a better circumstance than many (probably most) yet still a circumstance in which I am sadly contemplating retirement. It would be a mutual loss.

No, I am not new and exciting. I apparently do not spark imaginations nor do I often find occasion to pump my fist. And the closest I come to blood-spattered is as a pedestrian on my daily 4 mile trek to work; but even that is, well, pedestrian. If you look closely though, I am also not hollow. I work to fill my hope. There is substantial and even essential reasoned action within my method and my madness. And I’m not sure you can say that about our latest and greatest – or even our same old, same old.

Shingles triggers hives that bring on stress that exacerbates both Shingles and hives.

Political divisiveness triggers bombast that brings on closed-minded ignorance that exacerbates both divisiveness and bombast.

Power triggers self-importance that brings on indifference that exacerbates both power and self-importance.

Insignificance triggers anxiety that brings on confused indecisiveness that exacerbates both insignificance and anxiety.

Acclaim triggers pretense that brings on exaggeration that exacerbates both acclaim and pretense.

Certainty triggers overconfidence that brings on delusions that exacerbate both certainty and overconfidence.

Conformity triggers a benign negligence that brings on an impression of safety and security that exacerbates both conformity and negligence.

Taylor Swift triggers fervor that brings on frenzy that exacerbates both Taylor Swift and fervor.

Fervor triggers gall that brings on recklessness that exacerbates both fervor and gall.

Vanity triggers insecurity that brings on defensiveness that exacerbates both vanity and insecurity.

Existence triggers denial that brings on belief that exacerbates both existence and denial.

Healthcare visits trigger more healthcare visits that bring on excessive (often unnecessary) concern that exacerbates both Healthcare visits and more Healthcare visits.

An efficient bureaucracy works to distract, intimidate, persecute, partially by turning the ‘poor and oppressed’ against each other.

How do we just stand by and let this happen? Why do we play so readily into the hands of power?

We each choose a set of rules to follow, often staking our identity to those rules and thus resistant to change, and we look down upon those who have chosen a different set of rules. All the while, the rich and powerful do what they will, most often under the cover of an efficient bureaucracy. The majority of our majority – the poor and the oppressed – pretend to be a part of the elite by denying our majority. We are taught to set ourselves apart and we are taught to follow arbitrary rules and we are taught to believe the layer we occupy is primary. This enforced stratification is a house of mirrors. This enforced stratification maintains status quo. This enforced stratification is imaginary. The reality for all intents and purposes, like it or not, is that the layer we occupy is completely interchangeable with every other layer in our majority. And again, while we expend all our time and energy jockeying for make-believe position, the rich and powerful continue to do what they will.

This powerful faction says, “do this and all your problems will be solved.” That powerfully faction says, “do that and all your problems will be solved.” And when problems are not solved, the layers of the majority who did this blame those who did that and the layers of the majority who did that blame those who did this and the powerful factions congratulate each other and pat themselves on the back and continue to do what they will. And we look at each other, not recognizing ourselves, throw our hands in the air, and continue to look at each other.

If, as a whole, we could look outward, as the majority what might we do? Instead, as we are, divided into brittle layers, we look inward and ask what can we do?

What can we do?

An individual is understandably stymied by this question. And a single brittle layer instinctively feels they cannot move past the local animosity to look outward toward the actual problem. To disengage from even a single battle front in order to seek and find and breach the walls of a seemingly invincible fortress far-far-away just doesn’t make sense knowing once you retreat from your position it will be overrun. And though in the grand scheme that battlefront defeat may mean little, at least it is immediate – here and now. And again, their fortress is invincible. So we decide it is better to latch on to a chosen piece of rhetoric fired from a rampart of the fortress and continue to urgently attack the opposing brittle layer, and the rich and powerful continue to do what they will.

Though our immediate enemy is us, and though I make a case that our actual enemy is the rich and powerful, we could depersonalize further by recognizing that the True enemy is the system. And if the majority – the poor and the oppressed – were somehow persuaded to deny and let go their vested interest in the here and now, and if the majority of the majority were somehow persuaded to deny and let go their vested interest in the rich and powerful, and if the rich and powerful were then somehow more easily persuaded to deny and let go their vested interest in their bureaucratic system, then the greater good would shift and grow accordingly.

Justification can easily be found in power and in bureaucracy.

Justification is not Justice.

As long as the rich and powerful continue to control the system, the bureaucracy, the narrative, they will continue to do what they will.

Justification is oppression.

Who Are You?

• Are You Serious or Are You Casual?
• Do You Strive For Excellence or Do You Strive For Acclaim?
• Do You Produce or Do You Pretend?
• Are You Driven By Process or Are You Commandeered By Urgency?
• Do You Plan For Improvement or Do You Maintain Order?
• Do You Focus On Operations or Are You Lost In Bureaucracy?
• Do You Seek Understanding or Are You Too Busy?
• Do You Seek Justice or Do You Look For Justification?
• Do You Apply Knowledge or Do You Give Orders?
• Do You Learn And Grow or Do You Seek And Destroy?

I believe very strongly in the first choice in each pair above and I work very hard to practice, maintain and strengthen the resulting discipline in both my work and in my life. I am employed at a large state university alongside more than 20,000 other cogs. And asking me to go to work each day is like asking a swimmer preparing for a competition to train in a public pool catering mainly to children and teens who are there merely to make a big splash.

I don’t mean for that to sound harsh, pretentious, or judgmental, but perhaps it does. I only mean that I work hard at a regimen intended to lead me toward improvement, learning, and growth and if others choose not to, I don’t want to be critical of their choice so much as I want them to get the Hell out of my way.

Though I believe strongly in the first choice in each pair above, I understand they are not mutually exclusive. Regardless of intentions, we find ourselves moving up and down each spectrum. What I work to be conscious of is the cause for the movement. For example, when I am commandeered by urgency I find it is often because of someone being the Hell in my way. The same is true for bureaucracy. But when I am casual or unproductive or busy, I find it is often personal choice.

I am currently in a place at work where my supervisor is, (and most supervisors within reach are), destructive, meaning they tend strongly towards the second choice in each pair above. Regardless of which direction a supervisor’s direct reports lean or stand, the job itself by definition is rooted firmly in the first choice in each pair, and the further a supervisor finds their self from that ideal, the more entrenched we all become in our second choices.

Additionally and unfortunately, due to the large numbers of constituents and the job specialization that requires, we have some jobs and departments totally immersed in a second-choice function. For example, Human Resources is completely about bureaucracy and within that function they may practice first-choice habits and even learn and grow within their bureaucracy but because they are rooted where they are, they are destructive.

Additional thoughts:

To be serious is to differentiate fluff from substance from essence.

To maintain order, to keep the peace, hinders, stunts, limits improvement. Progress requires upheaval.

To seek understanding is to become increasingly more efficient.

Justification is Oppression.

Process implies forward movement. An urgency is an interruption.

Busyness is not busy. Busy is at times unavoidable. Busyness is pretentious.

It is much easier for a destructive supervisor to maintain order than it is for him or her to plan for improvement.

Operations implies active accomplishment. And if active accomplishment is serious productive improvement, then a bureaucratic operation arbitrarily hinders, stunts, limits accomplishment.

An efficient bureaucracy works to distract, intimidate, persecute, partially by turning the poor and oppressed against each other.

Busy is the top layer. Busyness is the only layer.

Acclaim for excellence is a waste; time and energy better spent on serious productive improvement.

To seek power destroys personal learning and growth. Once attained, to maintain power or to exert power hinders, stunts, limits potential for improvement and others’ learning and growth.

Justification can easily be found in power and in bureaucracy.

A destructive supervisor is one who is immediately responsible, conspicuously separated from that responsibility, and often protected, safe, comfortable.

Final thought, for now:

Please, get the Hell out of my way…