hopelesshappiness.com

What happens when an organization's inefficiencies overtake and surpass its efficiencies? According to organizational economic theory the organization will either add/improve efficiencies to regain balance, or scale back its operations to regain preexisting efficiencies and restore a healthier bottom line; but in some cases an organization (or an entire industry) may increase rates and/or fees to cover up negligent inefficiencies. Additionally some organizations are not dependent upon profits. Any organization that is subsidized (by taxpayers for example) and is not regeneratively independent, is not necessarily subject to this market mandate of efficiency.

What happens when an individual's inefficiencies overtake and surpass his or her efficiencies? Much the same as above: (1) existing efficiencies must be improved, and/or (2) new efficiencies must be added, or (3) he or she must scale back efforts and/or expectations to maintain stability and to ensure functional daily operations. As individuals many of us are subsidized via human interaction ranging from casual contact to intimate relationships. With this support we are often able to get through rough patches and occasionally we can demand extra attention (i.e. a rate increase) for a short period, but ultimately it comes back to the individual to decide if effort and/or expectation stagnate or if we continue to progress painfully. Ultimately many of us find that there are days (minutes... hours... weeks... months... years... Lifetimes...) when we are unsubsidized and alone; and in the marketplace of humanity, this is a normal state - one we should expect and embrace.

Many would argue that they are not unsubsidized and alone, and that it (unsubsidized and alone) is not a normal state. I would argue that it is not only a normal state but a preferable state, and that each of us is more alone than we perceive ourselves to be. It is preferable because it encourages efficiencies in learning and growth, and one's ability to close the gap on Truth and Wisdom. A bevy of friends and family, after a point, can serve as a distraction and keep us from our quest. This can also contribute to how, (in this narcissistic world of distractions), we (too often) may find it easier to scale back our effort and expectation, and ignore our calling/purpose; that is, if we have identified a calling. Just as the invisible hand in economics tweaks the marketplace through pricing to balance supply and demand, so does the esoteric nature of humanity require either an equivalent tweaking of efficiency and inefficiency, or inner justification of negligent inefficiency. An overabundance of human interaction can serve as that justification.

One of the points I am arguing for here is moderation in and equally progressive effort (as possible) toward all the elements of Happiness as seen on the Periodic Happiness Table of Elements. I have made this point in previous posts and will not belabor it here, other than to say lower-case happiness (everyday cheerfulness / satisfaction) is a trap.

Another argument I would like to expand on is my belief that each of us is more alone than we perceive ourselves to be. I accidentally stumbled upon a conversation this week in which I was the topic and the conversing parties did not know I was in earshot. Their perception of me was not consistent with my self-image. After the expected hurt subsided this served as a reminder that in many ways, and more often than we would like, our self-image is not consistent with other's perception of us. I can turn this around and think of many, many individuals who behave as if others consider them in one regard, yet myself and/or others consider them in a completely different light; and I know the perceived truth of this because I hear both considerations verbalized by all concerned. It only makes sense that I have the same deluded self-image. When I see myself in this way, I realize I am indeed more unsubsidized and alone than I want to be or would like to believe. I have previously touted the benefits of 'uninhibited truthfulness' to oneself - this is an example. Yes, it (uninhibited truthfulness) hurts. Yes, it is hard work. But I believe, in the long run, it is well worth the effort.

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Upon letting this post (to this point) simmer for a day I can't help but objectively ask, do I truly believe that this state (unsubsidized and alone) is advantageous? Or am I simply attempting to justify personal circumstance? To answer these questions, I have to ask, is my circumstance by choice? I know that part of the answer lies in the fact that I began feeling more alone and excluded 7 years ago when I left full-time work due to disability. In the last three years though, I have spent seventeen months working full-time (which I had to stop again due to the disability), and fifteen months (and counting) working part-time. I have been married 33+ years and I have three grown children and one beautiful granddaughter, as well as numerous extended family members. I provide this personal background to substantiate my belief that this propensity toward solitude is by choice. I have my whole life been a bit of a loner. I have always been one to enjoy coffee shops, restaurants, travel, movies, and other activities alone (as well as with others), and though circumstance may have jump-started and intensified these proclivities, I also choose them, again substantiated by the fact that I could choose otherwise.

I stand by the belief that one is more likely to close the gap on Truth and Wisdom with a proper mix (according to circumstance and opportunity) of cloistered learning and productive, interdependent synergy; (the latter not to be confused with having a beer with the gang - though that also has its place). I have been holding up my end of the cloistered learning, and have held my own in the communal beer department; but perhaps, ...perhaps I could seek a more active synergy...

If it weren't for me, I would not be a very nice person; (as it is, there are days...). It is true that there are many forces influencing my desire to be pleasant; from physical discomforts and ailments to dealing with difficult people and organizations to banalities such as the weather to some daily responsibilities and expectations to a plethora of other miscellaneous unplanned or unexpected annoyances and irritants. Like it or not, I am in many ways controlled by my environment. And (like it or not) there are many ways in which I can influence my environment, but (again, like it or not) to do so meaningfully requires work.

If it weren't for you I would never have realized that you care about me from a perspective (no matter the effort otherwise) of how I impact your environment; and I would never have realized that I care about you from a perspective (no matter the effort otherwise) of how you impact my environment. This is the nature of one's humanity. Please note that I did not say you 'only' care based on personal impact, or I 'only' care because it is all about me. Nonetheless we can only on occasion escape this mutual burden of personal humanity, and oftentimes we project this hardship onto others because we do not recognize it as personal baggage - it feels to me as if you should make the effort, and I am certain it feels to you as if the onus is on me. To meaningfully escape these narcissistic human tendencies requires a sense of introspective attentiveness and determined, incessant work.

Time is measured by passing events. When one speaks of wasting time, one is really saying that better choices could have or should have been made. Each one of us have certain actions or behaviors throughout our day that are regrettable in the sense that the outcomes are undesirable, inconsequential, or disappointing. Of course, the act of regret itself (once we have extracted the learning and growth) is regrettable. To make meaningful choices one must live in each moment, having learned from the past, with an eye to the future; this requires work.

Ninety percent of everything is crap. So to find the ten percent that is good, we must first wade through a lot of crap. To find something that is both good and cutting-edge is even rarer. This is why it is important to learn from history's greatest thinkers; those that have passed the test of time. That is not to say one should ignore new thinking; science is leaping and bounding (it seems) daily. There is considerably more than a Lifetime of information available to choose from, so how does one choose wisely? If one trusts their intuition, hones their crap-detecting skills, and keeps their head up to consider / explore diverging paths, there should be no wasted regret. To progress meaningfully in this manner requires diligent perseverance; (i.e. work).

There are many mundane tasks we accomplish with little thought; they seem automatic. There are some (paid) jobs that due to repetition, simplicity, or rules allow us to practice competence without meaningful comprehension. Sure, we may understand that we are 'part of the team' and that 'they' couldn't do it without us (and there is some truth here), but we often only understand what we are allowed to or what we choose to; we seldom see the big picture. Competence without comprehension is 'artificial intelligence' both literally and metaphorically. Competence with meaningful comprehension leading to a valuable contribution requires one to work.

Absolute determinism is possible, if you allow it. Those that claim 'nobody is ever responsible for anything they do' are correct, if we allow them to be. A herd mentality, unquestioning obedience, and oblivious ignorance will continue to nourish the egos of the powers that be, as long as the food supply remains plentiful. To meaningfully assert free will choices, in every potentially feasible circumstance, requires constant vigilance and hard work.

I will continue to work hard ...

Last week (with tongue firmly planted in cheek) I claimed that everyone in existence, with the single exception of me, is a Zombie. So what was the point? Some may believe it was an exaggeration presented to invalidate the concept of a philosopher's zombie; and though this is true to an extent, I did not mean it as a supporting argument for physicalism. I believe it was meant more as a dismantling of the logic of the zombie argument, and an encouragement to find a more compelling argument that will help us to cross that divide from the empirical to the transcendental. I have done some work in this regard (see Recycling Happiness and Conceptualizing Happiness) presenting Exoteric Goodness, Inner Peace, and the Why-Cycle as structural components grounded in the empirical and arching outward toward the transcendental; but a gap remains - a gap requiring a thoughtful, intuitive leap. The original Zombie argument (I believe) attempts to make this leap; the exaggeration I presented last week (I believe) illustrates why it falls short.

By definition (and for purposes of this discussion), transcendental is 'beyond'. So by definition, any argument for anything transcendental is exactly that - an argument. There will always be a gap requiring a thoughtful, intuitive leap. If we do not perceive a gap, we are deceiving ourselves. So is there a creative argument of conceivability that can intuitively narrow the gap and/or boost acceleration and make the crossing more communal? (I originally asked myself if there was a 'logical' argument of conceivability but I rephrased knowing that for some 'logical conceivability' is contradictory; this number, based on last week's post, includes me.)

Many/most of us have a considered sense-of-self that is esoteric in nature and difficult to verbalize. Some attribute this to (strictly) physical origins, some believe its origins are (wholly) divine in nature, and many find that varying Life circumstances move them back and forth along this spectrum, sometimes daily. No matter its moniker (brain, mind, consciousness, self, spirit, or soul) there are aspects of this 'sense-of-me' that are beyond our ability to define or understand; (i.e. Transcendental). And depending upon our beliefs - (which moniker we use for our personal 'sense-of-me') - individual intuition and/or indoctrination likely drives one's direction of argument. So perhaps agreement to use 'transcendental' as the identifier / descriptor, instead of an emotionally charged belief such as soul, will be a first step toward shared effort and (at least) some common ground from which to argue.

As I write this sentence (on Wednesday) I have no route planned from here to the end of this post; (it could be a very short post). I would very much like to come up with a creative argument of conceivability to help us with the leap. I believe (as previously stated, but worth repeating) Exoteric Goodness, Inner Peace, and the work accomplished with the Why-Cycle will structurally narrow the gap, and I believe the Why-Cycle has the potential of acceleration (if used repeatedly and with proper intent) to assist in the take-off, but not being able to see the transcendental side of the chasm, that doesn't feel enough; perhaps though, it is a start.

I believe a key concept here can be 'the work accomplished' not only through the Why-Cycle but also in establishing a foundation of Exoteric Goodness and Inner Peace. In case you have not read previous posts covering these concepts, relevant excerpts are below:

"Based on recent week's thoughts, I believe the flow from (1) acknowledged ignorance to (2) uncertainty and doubt to (3) thoughtful, skeptical questioning of everything to (4) our continuing search for Truth and Wisdom, (I originally dubbed the Why-Flow) also has the potential to bridge that gap from empirical reality to a potential transcendental reality. Upon further examination I believe this Why-Flow is more of a Why-Cycle as the last position (our continuing search for Truth and Wisdom) brings us back to our first position (acknowledged ignorance), thus like all efficient cycles accomplishes some work and restores the system to its original position in order to accomplish more work."

"Exoteric Goodness - The Goodness one leaves in their wake, as one passes through this empirical reality; one's legacy as interpreted by others."

"Inner Peace - The calming of and satisfaction with one's energy previously distributed via feelings, thoughts, and actions; one's legacy as interpreted by oneself."

By definition work is / should be difficult. By definition the Why-Cycle is work, and I believe it contributes to Exoteric Goodness and Inner Peace in a positive, constructive manner. I believe any work, no matter the task or responsibility, impacts Exoteric Goodness and Inner Peace; whether it is a positive impact or a negative impact is up to individual interpretation. Many minimum wage employees set an outstanding example and enjoy a strong sense of accomplishment in their labor. A drug dealer on the other hand, sets a sketchy example at best, and though they may feel a sense of accomplishment, do they enjoy it?

Circling back, my original intent in this post was to find a compelling, intuitive, creative argument for a communal understanding of Transcendental. To this end, consider the following human traits / characteristics: (1) Sociopathic; (2) Wealthy; (3) Apathetic; (4) Narcissistic. Now imagine an individual that is at the upper extreme in all four of these aspects. Some might argue that various combinations of these traits are not compatible, but it is not only conceivable to conjure up this abomination, it is also unnerving. At this point some may say that I have simply qualified the philosopher's zombie, and perhaps this is so, but with one important difference and one important result: the difference is that this individual has actual identifiable human traits consistent with one's Life experience and potential personal 'sense-of-me' as opposed to zombie traits that are unfamiliar, and the result is that this individual has no reason or compulsion to work. And now some may argue that I have not taken away his or her personal 'sense-of-me' and I have not disconnected this individual from their soul / brain / consciousness / self, and I would respond that you are correct; I have not taken away or disconnected anything; but this individual has. He or she has disconnected from everyone and everything, including him or her self.

Whether we speak in terms of the (broader) Transcendental, or to more specific beliefs and preferences, I believe many/most of us would agree this person (as described above) will never narrow the gap by sowing Exoteric Goodness, reaping Inner Peace, or working on the Why-Cycle, and will therefore never create potential to cross the divide; they have indeed lost their way / mind / self / soul. I offer more depth and insight in three consecutive posts from this past Summer, (Zero Happiness Part 1, Zero Happiness Part 2, and Universal Happiness), including the following:

"Imagine a heavy spring placed upright on a table, with its top circumference about the size of the palm of your hand. Now imagine pushing down on this spring to hold it at its maximum tension. To suppress Evil is much like suppressing this spring; the tension and potential energy of this mechanism pushing back against your palm, occasionally forces one to let up (at least) a little, thus releasing (at least) a little Evil. The balance resides in the unreleased potential (crouched and ready to spring), thus allowing for the illusionary reality of Goodness and Strength having overcome Evil and Weakness. We have not eliminated, destroyed, or otherwise won a war against Evil; we are simply holding it at bay."

Holding the Dark at bay is hard work; it is also conceivable and (I believe, as an individual) possible. If one were to assume Exoteric Goodness without work that would be delusional ego. For one to feel Inner Peace without work, one would be obliviously ignorant. I believe 'work' to be a propellant that will assist in powering us across the divide from empirical to transcendental, and I believe our conceivable, non-working, Sociopathic, Wealthy, Apathetic Narcissist to be the embodiment of empirical sans transcendental, and to be the intuitive encouragement to create a communal transcendental possibility.

This argument also falls short. There will always be a gap. In this world we need to work as hard as humanly possible to narrow this gap, and we need to work as hard as humanly possible to suppress the Dark that appears and is propagated by many methods including the familiar human traits and characteristics discussed above. This hard work, as encouraged by the mutant atrocity of non-work, (I strongly believe) has the intuitive potential to carry us across the divide, and this hard work, against the backdrop of varying degrees of non-work, is an argument for that Transcendental potential.

I will continue to work hard ...

I believe everyone in existence (past, present, and future) is a Zombie; everyone that is, except me. Granted, you are a very sophisticated form of Zombie in that I don't see you eating brains and each one of you present yourself as very much like me, but I still believe you are a Zombie. I know I am not a Zombie because I have a sense of me; I can self-identify. I would like to believe that you also are able to self-identify, but I can think of no way to prove this. I have no sense-of-me for you. You are you - a Zombie.

You may truly believe you are not a Zombie and I know you would like to argue and plead your case but the fact is there is nothing you can say or do that will compel me to conceive or believe otherwise. As long as you maintain this facade of humanity, I will do so in kind. We can continue to learn and grow together in mutually beneficial and respectful relationships. You are no more or less necessary than me, and I am no better than you in any way; except one - I am not a Zombie.

Here is another supporting proof that you are a Zombie: I have free will; that is the potential to feel, think, and act in any way I please. You, on the other hand, are simply out there impacting my desired results; (which is okay because the impact is often synergistic and positive, and when it is not, I learn from the adversity - just please don't eat my brain). You do not have free will in that all I observe from you are reactions. If you want to disagree on this point I challenge you to reveal the source of your free will which you will be unable to do because the source of my free will is my sense-of-me and since you cannot prove a personal sense-of-me to me you cannot have free will and, you are still a Zombie.

Further supporting proof: I am fairly adept at reading and interpreting my thoughts but I am unable to read or interpret your thoughts with any consistent accuracy (oftentimes even when you verbalize them). Additionally, you are unable to read or interpret my thoughts and I 'Have' a sense-of-me which (if you were a non-zombie like me) should simplify the process. So the fact that you are contemplating my brain as a comestible delicacy instead of a thought-producing consciousness often gets in the way of sharing thoughts beyond words.

Additional substantiation: I have purpose in my movement supported by the fact that wherever I go, there I am. You wander aimlessly, often in packs, you are easily distracted by and attracted to noise, and wherever you go if I am not there you lack a sense-of-me. Those times I do find myself out amongst you it is me exercising free will, and often when I am there and I ask you 'what's going on?' you respond, "nothing." 'Hello' - 'Anyone Home?' - No; because you are a Zombie.

At this point you might want to argue that you could invert this equation and claim that you are the only non-zombie. This will not hold up because (1) that is exactly what a Zombie would say, and (2) if you were not a Zombie you would have already made this claim. It took me 53 years as a rational, sane, non-zombie human to discover this truth and as far as I know it has never been presented in exactly these terms. Now though, there will be many Zombies jumping on the bandwagon, confusing the issue, and claiming not to be a Zombie; which is sadly predictable.

In my Lifetime there have been a few Beings that I have felt occasional, momentary vibrancy in what is otherwise a pale, translucent reflection of a mutual sense-of-me. Please don't misread this as an aspersion; it is not. This pale reflection is a thrilling accomplishment, because for all but a very small handful of the Zombies on this planet I have no 'sense-of-me' connection at all. Unfortunately though, even in these connections with my wife, my children, and other close family and friends, I am still unable to verify that any part of this sense-of-me is emanating from anyone but me. Therefore, regardless of the sincere, deeply-felt Love, the fact remains that I am married to a Zombie, my children are Zombies, and the in-laws are ... well ... the in-laws are Zombies and in-laws.

Bottom line: I believe I have now proven that everyone in existence (past, present, and future) is a Zombie; everyone that is, except me.

Happy Halloween!

We do not have to understand the reason we are driven or compelled to act. There are multiple examples in nature of animal and plant behavior that is beneficial, but we do not believe that the tree comprehends or is able to express why it spreads its branches. The same can be said of why the cicada has a reproductive cycle that is a prime number, or why the optimal shape for cells in a honeycomb is the hexagon; 17-year locusts and bees cannot express the mathematical reasoning behind their natural inclinations except by continuing to act in a manner that is (for whatever reason) more beneficial.

So why do we (humans) feel compelled to search for answers / reasons? It must be the same (underlying) reason that the bee creates hexagonal honeycomb cells; it must, (in some way that we cannot quite grasp, express, or prove), be beneficial.

We humans have long asked the question 'Why?' It is one of the first questions we (feel compelled to) ask as a very small child, and it is (unfortunately) one of the first questions discouraged by the world of adults. It appears that other animal and plant species do not spend energy pondering 'why'. They seem to simply go about their business resolving where, what, when, who, and how in order to live another day. If you are following the line of thought, you know I am not suggesting we model our behavior after other species; though some 'powers that be' may prefer that. I am suggesting that we continue to ask 'Why?' and I am suggesting that we do not get caught up in asking why we ask why. As a group (all of Humanity) we will (and should) continue our quest for Truth and Wisdom; i.e. Happiness. As individuals we will continue to do this to varying degrees, but I am confident that a very large majority of us periodically ponder 'Why?' in one set of circumstances or another. I am 53 years old - My wife and I went shopping for a new bed 2 weeks ago - The one we chose has a 25 year guarantee - The night we purchased it I asked her if we had just bought our deathbed. We laughed; but it is on this proverbial deathbed that many of us ultimately come around to the question 'Why?' And that is as close as I will get to a reason why we ask why, (and why we attempt to answer why); and it is very similar to the question - Why do all plant and animal species feel compelled to live another day?

These thoughts encouraged me to revisit a previous post. Upon doing so I am struck (again) by the wide chasms between varying transcendental beliefs, and the absolute certainty with which many are presented. This is (briefly) characterized by the following excerpt from that post, 'Global Happiness':

"Look at what large populations in proximity to other large populations have accomplished compared to isolated bands, tribes, or even small countries with smaller populations. Yet spiritually we have chosen to isolate ourselves in small bands, on separate islands, whose flora and fauna represent varying faiths, beliefs, and superstitions. Perhaps we need a Great Flood to bring us together; or a Great Drought to dry up the land and the seas, and show us we are not that far apart."

And this took me back to the previous post 'Discomfortable Happiness' in which I quoted Soren Kierkegaard:

"If I am able to apprehend God objectively, I do not have faith; but because I cannot do this, I must have faith. If I want to keep myself in faith, I must continually see to it that I hold fast the objective uncertainty, see to it that in the objective uncertainty I am out on 70,000 fathoms of water and still have faith."

From there I went on to say that 'Certainty is the antithesis of true faith.'

Faith is defined as 'belief that is not based on proof.' A 'Leap of Faith' further illustrates the implied uncertainty that is necessary for faith to be faith. Those who claim to KNOW the answer to the question 'Why?' and those who have stopped asking the question 'Why?' are operating from a position of oblivious ignorance, as opposed to the favorable acknowledged ignorance; (see 'last week's post' where I make the case that to know is to not know, and to not know is to know).

In previous posts I have touted exoteric goodness and inner peace each as a potential bridge from empirical reality to a transcendental possibility; (see this previous post - 'Conceptualizing Happiness'). Based on recent week's thoughts, I believe the flow from (1) acknowledged ignorance to (2) uncertainty and doubt to (3) thoughtful, skeptical questioning of everything to (4) our continuing search for Truth and Wisdom, (I originally dubbed the Why-Flow) also has the potential to bridge that gap from empirical reality to a potential transcendental reality. Upon further examination I believe this Why-Flow is more of a Why-Cycle as the last position (our continuing search for Truth and Wisdom) brings us back to our first position (acknowledged ignorance), thus like all efficient cycles accomplishes some work and restores the system to its original position in order to accomplish more work.

And asking 'Why?' is work; especially in the face of those who would like to squelch the question and cast out those who ask it. Though my efforts may appear futile (even at times to myself) I have faith that, like the accidental discovery of polishing stone into a hand axe, my incremental accumulations will continue to benefit me and (by virtue of this active, contributory hope) hold the potential for wider beneficence.