I am angry.

There are people in this world, and I sometimes forget that I am one of them. Where there are egos, without even trying there is pretense and selfishness, and from there a mere shuffle-slide-smirk to greed. Add to that conscious effort toward judgment, authority, control and add to that any sort of consensus and we have created an inescapable yet untenable circumstance for those outside the circle of tolerance. To survive, those on the outside must on occasion step inside the circle, and to do that they must put forth further conscious effort toward more pretense thus further justifying the circle’s smug morality. In addition, those who essentially reside within the circle of tolerance must also consistently put forth effort toward more and more pretense to maintain their residency, thus again further perpetuating and justifying the circle’s smug morality. I used to believe that I could encourage more change for Good from within the circle but I have determined that the inner circle (where the drivers live) is impenetrable thanks largely to the surrounding consensus that is pretense. And as long as the drivers have the means to drive, (wealth and power), the circumstance will remain as is.

There are people in this world, and I sometimes forget that I am one of them. Back to this. Though I would like to believe that my efforts are more altruistic, I must constantly question this because my methods will always be egoistic. I am reminded of this when I find myself angry. Anger is a conceit that comes from and leads to judgment and a desire for authority and control. Authority and control require overt pretense and a smug morality. So I find myself with pretense and a smug morality, but no consensus. To change circumstance, (or for that matter to maintain circumstance), requires some sort of consensus.

1. Ego - Selfishness - Belief - Pretense - Judgment - Authority - Control - Pretense - Smug Morality - Consensus - Comfort - Selfishness…
2. Ego - Selfishness - Belief - Pretense - Judgment - Authority - Control - Pretense - Smug Morality - No Consensus - Anger…
3. Ego - Anger - Judgment - Authority - Control - Pretense - Smug Morality - No Consensus - Anger…
4. Ego - Anger - Sadness - Judgment - Authority - Control - Pretense - Consensus - Compassion - Change - Comfort - Disappointment - Anger - Sadness…
5. Ego - Anger - Sadness - Judgment - Pretense - No Consensus - Anger - Sadness - Despair - Sadness…
6. Ego - Greed - Pretense - Judgment - Authority - Control - Pretense - Smug Morality - Consensus - Comfort - Greed…
7. Ego - Greed - Pretense - Wealth and Power - Judgment - Authority - Control - Pretense - Smug Morality - Consensus - Comfort - Greed…

Of course, on every track ego is a given and there will always be selfishness, but selfishness can be managed with benevolent belief.

Greed is a choice.

When selfishness is not managed, when selfishness overtakes - overrides - overpowers - exceeds belief, selfishness and belief fuse and become greed.

Capitalism encourages greed and discourages any sort of benevolent belief.

Comfort also hinders benevolent belief.

Sadness tempers judgment, authority, control, conscious pretense, and self-righteousness.

No consensus, (admittedly or not), is always followed by some measure of anger.

Change is always followed by some measure of disappointment because whatever the change, it will never be enough.

Disappointment. (admittedly or not), is always followed by some measure of anger.

I believed in the part of the American Dream that promised equal opportunity, but that belief has consistently led me onto tracks with no consensus.

Track #4 is necessary for our survival.

I keep jumping between tracks 3 and 5.

Though a time or two I have stumbled onto track #4, I am unable to consistently sway opposing consensus, thus sadness trips over ego rekindling anger and I find myself back on track 3 or 5.

When one is sailing along on track #1, then is surprised by finding their self on track #2, rather than moving on to track #3 in hopes of finding their way to track #4, I think most individuals give in and rejoin the consensus back on track #1.

Though I would like to think that each one of us begins on track #1, I know that some are born on track #6 or track #7.

There are those on track #6 or track #7 who choose to occasionally pop on to track #4 for a short visit but whereas I cannot find my way to track #4, they never fail to find their way back home.

Selfishnes, Anger, Sadness, Greed, and Consensus all serve as portals allowing an individual to jump tracks, consciously or not.

It appears to me that to survive we need a consensus, consistent Sadness.

As long as the drivers have the means to drive, (wealth and power), the circumstance will remain as is.