Twas the light before darkness, when all through my head
This word it escaped and that word it has fled;
Intention's been pushed and my thoughts thusly shoved,
But still I remember how much I am loved;
---
My children they gathered and I told them this,
I'm fuzzy, I'm foggy, there's something amiss;
Embarrassed to say now it's not just my age,
I'm lost, I'm afraid and I can't turn the page,
---
Uncertain, confused, in this world full of clatter,
I can't put my finger on just what's the matter.
To be busy with plans is a thing of the past,
The days go by slow as my thoughts fly by fast.
---
My mind peeking out through its new-fallen snow
Makes me know that I don't know what I used to know.
When what to my wandering brain should appear,
But the thought that my thoughts don't have to be clear.
---
Just look who is driving this world to its brink,
They don't know, they don't see, they don't care, they don't think.
I'm better than that all because I once was,
And I still have my moments without too much fuzz,
---
My Husband! My Children! Their kids and their spouses!
Memories of places, vacations and houses!
To the jobs that I've had! To respect that I've earned!
To the people I've known! To the things that I've learned!
---
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So too my thoughts flutter and bandy about,
No reason, no rhyme, in a head filled with doubt.
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And then the next thinkling, I know it's December,
But what I just said I just cannot remember,
I know you can see it, the blank on my face,
My words disappearing with nary a trace.
---
It's okay to be blank; I'll just sit and be strong,
I'll look through my eyes and know it's not wrong,
And soon it will lift, the mist it will clear,
In the meantime I'll sit and be filled with good cheer.
---
My eyes – they can see you; my children so smart!
My mind – it can know you; you're dear to my heart!
I'm fulfilling my purpose, I'm living my Life,
All the work and the play, all the joy and the strife.
---
I don't want to burden, I don't want to change,
But I am encircled by new and by strange,
I need someone's help, so please help, by all means,
An end's a beginning, I'll find new routines,
---
Life is chubby and plump and ripe for the pickin’,
We’ll laugh and we’ll cry, and we’ll just keep on kickin’,
And I heard Santa say with a nod of his head,
“Just sit and be strong, you have nothing to dread.”
---
I don't need all the words to continue my work,
My days will be full despite darkness and murk,
And so laying my finger aside what is right,
I am loved, I am strong, I'm surrounded by light.
---
So I'll spring from my doubts, to my faith give a whistle,
In hopes that fear flies, like the down of a thistle,
And though not that easy, I'll continue to fight ---
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.
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