Eternity: “infinite (unlimited or unmeasurable) time; duration without beginning or end.”

Is eternity important? Or is it merely a talking point? A distraction to make us feel better about all things temporal. An unprovable feature of our belief that I am important and we are the reason. I try to wrap my head around ‘eternity’ and come away blown away. How is it possible? How can something be both endless and beginningless? And if there is no beginning or end, am I moving outward or inward? Expanding or contracting? Exploding or imploding? Is it possible to not move at all? Are there still three dimensions? Two? Five? Is it possible to have zero dimensions? Is it still tangible? Can I touch it? Can it touch me? Do I lose consciousness? Am I pure ego? Or a mental construct? Or just feeling? Or extreme emotion? Will I discover the spirit? The soul? Is there a difference between the two? Will I find that there is no spirit? Or there is no soul? Or perhaps we are all one? And if I find I am not an individual spirit or soul, will I comprehend what I have unfound? Blown away.

Endless.

Beginningless.

Insubstantial?

Nothingness?

Meaningless?

I believe this is why some, (perhaps many), who ponder eternity, see it as a continuation; perhaps a giant banquet table in a giant banquet hall filled with past and present family and friends and acquaintances all playing a giant game of remember when; or simply loved ones waiting on the other shore; or all those virgins. I am far, far away from expertise, but in my limited knowledge I don't believe that these imaginings are consistent with the definition, scriptural depictions or scholarly interpretations of eternity. My desire for eternity though is attached to this temporal existence so I am naturally inclined to ascribe features of this existence to a next. It takes effort to seriously consider the possibilities contained in all the questions above.

I live a life in which I am hard pressed to find this moment. Each moment slips by into the past as it anticipates the future moment already coming. St. Augustine observed “if the present were always present and did not go by into the past, it would not be time at all, but eternity.” That observation (to me) is pretty brilliant. In this context of an ever-present present, to reconcile my desire for eternity with my place here, now, (which is a different place in each here and in each now), becomes exponentially difficult. What do I wish for in an eternity where there is no anticipation? No recall? I will be there. And only there. One here. One now. One place. For all eternity. If I have a choice, I can understand no choice but to be within my self in that place. In my idea of my body? In my heart? In my mind? In my spirit? In my soul? In all and everything at once? If there is no recall, and no anticipation, perhaps this is peace. Is this the Buddhist aspiration? Is peace synonymous with meaninglessness? If not, how is it different? If so, is this okay?

Blown away.

To have faith in a concept of eternity consistent with this temporal existence is necessary for some. I think I get it and I don't want to take that away unless that faith interferes with Goodness, impedes progress or overtly contributes to divisiveness in this temporal existence. If one wants to believe eternity will include connection with this temporal existence, and especially if one believes there is a judgement to be faced, then it feels logical that in this existence one should strive to do Good and advance Humanity, (save Humanity), by working together. Yet here we are.

I had a documented beginning. I personally recall events from nearly sixty years ago that have grounded me in that beginning. One day I will die. My beginning. My end. Temporal. As this moment slips into the past and I anticipate the next moment, I allow eternity to slip through my fingers. Even if I stretch a moment with stillness and perceived peace, I am only privileged with a narrow, tiny glimpse of one of an infinite number of possibilities. Movement continues all around me. Regardless of efforts toward stillness and peace, I cannot help but to continue as well. In this Life, to know eternity is not possible. In this temporal existence, I am not just a spirit, or a soul, or a heart or mind or body. In this temporal existence, I am all of these things or I am none of these things. In this temporal existence, I am everything and I am nothing. In this temporal existence, I am flow.