I crave order. Order requires control. Control requires power. My interpretation of my power to control and insinuate order will lead to an emotional response: fear or joy, anger or sadness, serenity or pensiveness, or an alternating or simultaneous combination thereof. I am Human. I will feel emotion. That emotion will further impact my interpretation.

A perceived lack of power leading to a perceived lack of control leading to a perceived lack of order may ultimately move me to apathy and/or quiescence.

I see four areas in which I work to apply this power / control / order concatenation:

1. My Self.
2. Other Individuals around me.
3. My Physical Surroundings.
4. My (perceived and actual) Circumstance.

I crave order because I want to make sense of things. I want to make sense of things because I crave order. I'm not sure there is a better explanation. As I continue this Life, more and more things though make less and less sense. Is this a reflection of current circumstance? Or am I just coming around to understanding reality? Despite today's social and political divisiveness, I believe I am coming around (and around and around and around and around again) to an ever-evolving understanding of how things really are; realizing that I will never completely know how things really are. But I believe it is better to progress toward an understanding by continuing around and around, than it is to stand in the way shouting (and believing) that I have it all figured out.

I see three ways in which I work to make sense of things. They are…

1. Tradition and Fervor,
2. Reason and Reform,
3. Revolution and Radical Change,

…posted along a single spectrum.

Change is inevitable.

When I call on tradition, I am appealing to emotion to change things back to the way they were. I cannot appeal to (or apply) reason; if I do I might find that the good old days were not so good. So I appeal to emotion to hearken back to better times (that were not) which essentially leaves our wheels spinning and leaves us stuck in the status quo. If I am joyful in my power / control / order efforts, I call on tradition. If I am afraid, I call on tradition.

Change is inevitable.

When I call on reason, I am working to tweak and fine tune in order to incrementally improve the process, knowing we will never reach Perfection. It is difficult to maintain this baby-step pace, especially when strong emotions come into play. I am Human. I will feel emotion. I am most inclined to call on reason when I am calm and/or pensive.

Change is inevitable.

When I call for revolution, I am demanding immediate and radical change, believing Perfection is just around the corner. And if upon rounding that corner, Perfection is disappearing around the next corner, I am going to insist that we continue the chase. If I am angry within my power / control / order efforts, I call for revolution. If I am feeling a great sadness, (heartache, gloom, despair), I call for revolution.

If I were to embrace the fact that change is inevitable, and disregard strong emotions, and somehow quell or at least lessen my craving for order, then perhaps I could be happy with incremental improvement. Tradition and fervor merely keep us running in place. Revolution and radical change merely create a new circumstance that will still necessitate change in order to progress. As a whole, the push and pull between these two ends (tradition and revolution) appears to allow for and perhaps even encourage reason and reform; (i.e. incremental improvement).

I am Human. I will feel emotion. And at times, I will find it difficult to disregard strong emotion. So, at times I will feel it necessary to call on tradition, or revolution. And who is to say that this periodic upheaval is not helpful in moving me incrementally forward. But as a long-term solution, I do not believe that strong emotion and constant upheaval is an answer.

In this moment, my ever-evolving understanding has come around to believe that Reason and Reform from a pensive serenity will carry me further, faster than will tradition and/or revolution. And when I forget myself in fear or joy or anger or sadness, I am confident that I will recognize the perfidious recklessness of extremes and come back to reason and reform. And if I do not, the opposite extreme will forcibly pull me back.