Life is not fair. There will always be another who is better off than me; and even more who I perceive as better off than me. There will always be a circumstance that would improve my lot in Life; and many others where, from a distance, the grass appears to be greener. Some of us constantly move from one lot to another, and some of us settle down and make the best of it, and some of us give up and make the best of it, and some of us are perplexed by the thought that Life is not fair. …I am pondering the difference between settle down and give up and I am amazed by those who are perplexed.. But that is not where I want to go with this.

To acknowledge Life is not fair is to acknowledge nature; most specifically my nature. I will always want for something. Be it tangible, intangible, tangible leading to intangible, intangible leading to tangible, intangible leading to greater tangible, intangible leading to greater intangible, and on and on and on and on; I will always want for something.

I have moved now from Life is not fair to my nature is such that I will always want for something. Where to next? Perhaps acknowledgement that your nature is such that you will always want for something? Which (though seemingly a step backward) may lead me to the realization that you may also see Life as unfair. Will this realization lead to empathy? Or resentment? Competition? Respect? Duplicity? All of the above. And then some.

It feels now like I am no longer being led to a next logical step. It feels now like I am simply living; better for knowing that I am not the only one. To get hung up on a detail is to clump through heavy snow, head down against a biting wind. To deal with “all of the above and then some” is to run, (at times guardedly and at times with abandon), and feel the amercement of a gauntlet and the exhilaration of a marathon. To move past the fact of consciousness is to swim naked and free in the shallows and in the depths, coming up as necessary for air and sustenance and sunshine and to clothe my brazenness in modesty.

I am not the only one.

And because I am not the only one, I have to come up for air and sustenance and sunshine; and clothing. When I come up, I will come up to run; but on occasion I will find myself clumping through heavy snow. For me, the brazen exploration makes the detail bearable; and the detail makes the gauntlet preferable and the marathon worthwhile. And each time I come up, the experience makes the brazen exploration increasingly more brazen.

Moments stolen here and there. To see me reading or writing, deep in thought, one might not see risk and adventure, but I am there. To question everything – to doubt everything – to, each morning, start with nothing – no knowledge, no assumptions, no identity, no hope – and to spend the day searching for these things – that would be the ultimate in thrill-seeking freedom and adventure. But of course I am tied to my detail, and to the fact of my consciousness. So all I can do is glory in those stolen moments; here and there.

This is how it should be. Moments interrupted by a butterfly, or a speeding car, or a menial task, or a heart attack. Moments interrupted by Life. This is how it should be.

To get hung up, to move past, to acknowledge another, to live some moments, and to steal some others; this is how it should be.

And though it should be this partially because it is this, I believe part of “this” must be brazen exploration; or at least, exploration; even if only in the shallows, clothed in caution and constraint.

Details are not fair. The fact of consciousness is not fair. But I believe each one of us has opportunity to steal a few moments, here and there.