"'Saudade': an inexplicable longing, an unnamed and enigmatic yearning of the soul; ...the desire to be transported from darkness into light, to be touched by the hand of that which is not of this world."
--Nick Cave, 1999.
And so we move from duende to saudade; from spasmodic waves to desperate whispers; from freakish grace to obtuse buoyancy; from strident urgency to pensive hunger.
It is a circular progression.
"Duende is ardent and frenzied and fervent, yet it will not consume. Duende is creation and death. Duende is intimate and ferocious. Duende is paradoxical; filled with the joy of Light and suffused with the pain and fear of Living. Duende is necessary."
November, 2014.
Saudade is quiet and fretful and desperate, and it threatens to consume. Saudade is a search for answers and a desire for enlightenment. Saudade is distant and aloof. Saudade torments, with no malice; filled with a haunting promise that cannot be revealed, and suffused with the pain of Living and the fear of Death. Saudade is unavoidable.
Duende encourages Living.
Saudade drives purpose.
A focus on saudade without duende leaves one grasping; lost at sea; recklessly and dramatically holding up this and that superficiality as an Answer. Then tossing these overboard to embrace a new Answer. And on occasion, creating a larger-than-life framework to support a favored myth.
A Life Purpose should be important. A Life Purpose should be beyond meaningful. A Life Purpose should be Grand. A Life Purpose should be filled with the Happiness of Truth and Wisdom. Yet duende asks us to live the mundane; and the inane; and the profane; and the dark sounds. How can I build the splendor I desire, the glory I require, by merely living my life? For me, the answer lies in the dark sounds; in their cracks and crevices, in the surrounding space of their gravitational pull, and in the outer reaches of their searching tendrils. For me, these dark sounds constantly exchange influence with Light. I can choose to avoid the dark sounds, but on occasion I will be caught on a periphery; or briefly snatched and held by a reaching tendril. I believe this is as it should be. And I believe that on occasion I should choose to immerse myself within the dark sound. I believe it is within this intermingling ebb and flow and especially within the pulsating influence of the dark sounds where I will connect with greater meaning. For me to experience saudade, I must begin in duende; and here, on the cusp, I must choose. Do I wallow in the quagmires of saudade, reaching and yearning for Light, and pretending some distant light is the Answer? Or do I acknowledge the alluring artifice, and traverse the tricky entanglements to find my own way? I believe by listening with empathy, the dark sounds will provide a momentum enabling me to better work my way through the seductions of saudade. Living is duende. Living is work.
"Each Word has as many interpretations as reflections in crystal"
--from The Clockwork Dynasty, a Novel by Daniel H. Wilson.
It is important to understand differing interpretations. For some I may have added unnecessary complexity, ineffability and/or ambiguity. For some saudade is a defined or a definable longing. (Other definitions will fall between these obscure-to-tangible extremes.) For those who need to feign control but still recognize and manage dark sound - okay; I understand a need for security. But for those who consistently claim an unwavering certainty of direction and purpose, duende becomes expendable; deaf to dark sound, I believe these individuals wallow.
For me, duende must be work. It is messy. It is difficult. It is complex. But I believe that any answer that is not work is not an answer. Saudade without duende misinforms and leads one astray. In today's culture of egocentric consumerism, an impulse buy is saudade - a trip to the grocery store is duende; a glass of wine is saudade - a glass of tap water is duende; plastic surgery is saudade - a triple bypass is duende; easy, feel-good answers represent saudade - work represents duende. This perspective is skewed. Saudade has become something it was never meant to be because Life Purpose has become egocentric consumerism.
Look at the examples above. Living Life is work. Saudade and duende are meant to be together; duende to ignite saudade to differentiate dark sounds from Light to search for meaning and purpose to work toward meaning and purpose to recognize pre-packaged purpose to skeptically question everything to see saudade as a springboard to duende, dark sounds and work.
When I am hungry, I must eat; knowing I will be hungry again. Yet within my yearning for Happiness, I often expect immediate and long-lasting satisfaction in my next meal. It is the same. I will only be quenched from within the dark sound; the mundane; the inane; the profane. I will only be quenched by Living each moment of Life thoughtfully. I will only be quenched by working within duende and through saudade; over and over and over and over, again and again and again and again...