The festivities had just begun, when...

...they ended.

Week before last I took a test that identified my top 5 strengths, (in order), as Learner, Intellection, Achiever, Input, Responsibility. This particular examination contains 34 strengths. For only $39.99 I can see all 34 strengths in order. My employer paid for the top 5. This week I am questioning if "strength" is an appropriate descriptor for #34. This question causes me to rethink #5, which in turn has caused me to rethink the definition, (as used by this exam), of strengths. Perhaps a strength is only a strength when it is utilized. Perhaps this questionnaire only identifies predilection. Not perhaps. I believe this to be. It is logical that a dormant strength is merely a predisposition to act or react in a certain way. And perhaps this differentiation (between act and react) is the actual measure of a strength based on if it is utilized volitionally, or if it comes to the fore as a response to another's action. In other words, how lazy are those personal proclivities identified by this learning tool as potential aids to living, learning and growth? The answer for me is always, too lazy.

Not only do I believe a dormant strength to be a weakness, but I also believe some strengths / proclivities to be less valuable than others in that some are more frequently less useful than others (at least) partially because some circumstance in which a strength could be utilized occurs less frequently. This is why one is drawn to jobs and other circumstance in which one can utilize their personal strengths. Again, logical. But I also admit that my own personal definition of "useful" plays a major role in determining which strength to utilize in a specific circumstance. For example, when there is disagreement another may find it more useful to seek consensus and avoid conflict whereas I would find it more useful to encourage reasoned conflict in order to consider diverse opinion and perhaps arrive at a more complete resolution. And perhaps this adds another measure of strength: the ability to act volitionally drawing upon a strength that one is naturally averse to using. Following the same example, I am more naturally inclined toward learner, (precisely because learning requires some pain and adversity), than I am to harmony, yet there are some situations where and when I find it best to call on harmony.

It becomes obvious that I must be aware of those strengths / proclivities that I am less inclined toward, and that I must on occasion utilize them. I took a long, close look at all 34 strengths last week and I was able, (without shelling out $39.99), to sort them into top, middle and bottom tiers according to my preference. Doing so accomplished a couple of things. First, it made me realize that tests like this are, to a large extent, simply a celebration of ME. Yayyy ME! Designed to make one feel good about themselves and thereby increase one's productivity, it is a win-win. Secondly, if I am of a mind to, (and since Learner is my #1 proclivity, I am of a mind to), I can more definitively identify those potential strengths more likely to lie dormant as weakness, and by attaining and maintaining this awareness I can work to better understand and utilize these potential strengths in appropriate circumstance.

I realize that there are some potential strengths that I see as less productive and less useful, such as social networking, but I acknowledge that in some (for me, very rare) circumstance, a certain amount of je ne sais quoi and joie de vivre can be advantageous. This is a personal example but it illustrates the best use of tests such as I took: to study and analyze those points between 150 and 210 degrees opposite of ME. In a sense these strengths / proclivities that I see from a distance on the far reaches of my circumference, (because I am averse to them, and in a couple of instances repulsed by them), represent my evil twin, or my doppleganger. Though it is much easier and of course less painful to celebrate me from the comfort of my 50 degree arc, I am going to learn more by discovering what I am not, than what I will ever learn by reaffirming what I am.

So it appears that my personal doppelganger is friendly, cheerful, outgoing, very positive and hopeful, and wants to make a significant difference. This is indeed far from the comfort of me as mean, surly, angry and realistic. When I am friendly and outgoing, people I know say, "okay, who are you and what did you do with that other guy?" But I truly believe that my doppelganger undermines my quiet listening and learning, my productive output, the cohesion and duration of my reasoned study, and the depth of my considered analysis.

With that said, the paragraph above accounts for my top 5 and (probably) my bottom 5. For me it is unfortunate that the proclivities I am least inclined toward are some that are most necessary for functioning socially; and without some ability to function socially, one has a very difficult time in today's world of political and bureaucratic stupidity. (Reminder: my definition of politics is ANY struggle for power and control.) This paragraph may sound harsh, but I am comfortable with harsh.

So, since I must function socially by drawing upon strengths I am averse to, and since I am comfortable with the necessity of painful reality, (within this specific exam) that leaves 24 strengths / proclivities to study, analyze and learn from. And perhaps this is true for most of us whether in the context of an exam or Life circumstance: one knows personal comfort and personal discomfort, which leaves a middle range from which to most advantageously learn and grow. So to learn and grow, I must willingly move toward discomfort. And this is true within my top 5, bottom 5 and middle range; to qualify as a strength, I must push myself with an effort that creates discomfort. Reaction only, is lazy. Celebration is a reaction. This exam has helped me to focus and more efficiently refine my discomfort.