First and foremost this is for myself AND this is for ALL of Humanity. Secondarily this is for those I Love. And finally this is for those I know and for those I have known and for those I will know. I am the same as ALL of Humanity. I am past, present, and future. I am an abstraction. I am a pointillist landscape, undone; redone. I am uncertain, and I am unknowable. You are concrete and whole; defined and knowable. You are here and now. You are evolving into a future full of promise. You are forever etched. Because I am hazy and indistinct, and because you are coherent and comprehensible, I cannot presume to know for you what I cannot know for myself. Thus I must first consider that which is less focused; less refined. I must first consider myself AND ALL of Humanity. I must first bequeath to myself AND to ALL of Humanity.

So what is "this" that I am so dramatically and magnanimously passing on?

"This" is all of my thoughts; including those I have spoken, those I have written, those I have dreamed, those I have reinterpreted, those I have cherished, those I have loathed, those I have held on to, those I am yet to think, and those I have forgotten.

This is not much; I admit. And, this is everything. This is both ends of a spectrum from insignificance to essence; perhaps a circular spectrum; perhaps a snake eating its own tail. The question then becomes, "will I choose to be the gaping jaws or the vanishing tail?" Regardless of my choice, jaws or tail, (and regardless of my perception in any given moment), I remain both, insignificant and essential. And this is why the undone, redone, abstract, ever-changing, uncertain, unknowable content of all of my thoughts is first and foremost gifted to myself and to ALL of Humanity, and the effort and intent (along with any content you may find useful) is secondarily gifted to you; because it would be unjust and pretentious to presume.

But is it pretentious to bequeath to ALL of Humanity? I believe it is pretentious only if I see myself as knowing and Humanity as unknowing. But I am as disordered as ALL of Humanity. I am as ever-changing as ALL of Humanity. I am as myopic as ALL of Humanity. I am the same as ALL of Humanity. So it is not pretentious; it is a necessary reminder of my insignificance, and my essence.

If you were to say, "I agree with all of your thoughts," I would not believe you. I would respectfully suggest that you are lazy. If you were to say, "I agree with certain thoughts as presented by you," I would remind you that I have bequeathed these thoughts to you. Once considered and processed by you, these are no longer my thoughts. Again, I admit, this is not much.

I will continue to question and think and process and pass along. And then I will question and think and process and pass along. If I am struggling, if I am in pain, if I am comfortable, if I am cheerful, if I am conscious, and sometimes when I am unconscious, I can still question and think and process and pass along first and foremost to myself AND to ALL of Humanity.

Then, and only then, to you...

Will Humanity listen? Yes, in its own way. It is difficult for Humanity to hear an individual voice; as it should be. Just as it is difficult for me to hear a broken heel if my broken ribs are screaming. Just as it is difficult for me to hear my head if my heart differs. Just as it is difficult for me to hear reason if my anger intercedes. And, because it is difficult to hear that faint and distant voice, it is also difficult to hear the whole; I am more likely to feel the predominant rhythms and hear the ascendant arguments and then dance to that driving drumbeat. And finally, whether in the midst of an overpowering syncopation or surrounded by its slowly-dying echoes, it is additionally as difficult to change direction. So, if it is difficult to hear an individual voice, and if it is difficult to hear the whole, and if it is difficult to change direction, I will sow seeds.

To many, this week's thought is unrealistic. And as I just now read it again all the way through, I thought, "this is really dumb." (I bequeath this thought to you.) I also thought, "at best it is far too idealistic." And as it regards personal behavior, it is idealistic. I have opinions and give advice on a very consistent basis. But if you examine that transaction, I am able to do so only because you have allowed us to switch roles. You have become an abstraction representing ALL of Humanity, and I have (momentarily) become concrete and whole. Though still presumptuous, the reality is that I am merely sowing seeds. As I transform back into my hazy, uncertain self, I realize that you are likely not so careless as to adopt the content of my thoughts in its entirety. I trust that you will process and reinterpret. So in this sense, this construct of you and I as presented is realistic in that roles are transferable. And I suppose it is also realistic to trust that I will question and think and process before offering to change roles and express opinions.

This transactional trust is necessary for growth. There is much potential for growth, within a seed. This is why, when I am presented with a fully formed thought, (whether mine or another's), I must pick it apart to find those seeds with potential. To digest a fully formed thought whole, is to suppress, confuse, and sometimes destroy potential. Additionally, to digest a fully formed thought whole causes gastric upset that frequently results in a garbled reinterpretation being spewed all over nearby (and often unappreciative) innocents.

I began this post by saying, "First and foremost this is for myself AND this is for ALL of Humanity." When this thought formed it felt spiky and cumbersome. I was uncertain why, other than it felt smugly overconfident to prioritize otherwise. I believe I have smoothed and polished now to where I better understand this web of you and me and transactional trust. Beyond what I have already said, to maintain integrity within this concept of transactional trust, I should add that first and foremost I must constantly question myself as a representation of ALL of Humanity AND I must never be certain that I am more knowing than you. I believe that what appears to be concrete and knowable in this moment is very likely a driving drumbeat, a dying echo, a spewed thought, and/or a full-blown delusion. I must not presume otherwise...