It is easy to forget - all the world's connections do not begin and end with Me. I am but a tiny link in a global chain that includes all the things (living and non-living; known and unknown) of this world and beyond. I can make rules; I can change rules. I can follow rules; I can pretend that man-made rules matter. I can believe, and I can influence others to believe. I can be Good, and I can be vacuous. I can learn and grow; I can pretend to know. I can feel peace, and I can experience turmoil. I can rage against bureaucracy, and I can fear what I do not understand. I can pretend to control; (having learned from the past), I can live in the moment, for the future. I can acknowledge my ignorance; I can be oblivious to my ignorance. All the world's connections do not begin and end with me.

The following passage comes from 'The Girl Who Sang to the Buffalo' by Kent Nerburn. The context is a conversation about trust.

"'Nice' is about wanting people to like you. 'Good' is about doing what you're supposed to do, even if nobody likes you. When you're worried about being liked, it gives people too much power over you. They can lead you around like a dog chasing a bone. All they got to do is withhold their approval, and you'll piss down your leg to make them like you. You're an easy mark."

One can be nice and still be trusted if they are also doing Good. It is good to be nice to those who understand Goodness, but when one demands a servility and I accommodate their demand, my leg feels warm and wet. Some relish that control and laugh at my discomfort, and others simply don't care.

I too have been trained to expect a level of servility in certain circumstances, and, if it is not received, have found myself dissatisfied. Willing service is good. Compulsory servility however, puts a strain on a relationship or transaction, thus creating some tension and wariness, which in turn strains mutual trust. Then when an additional expectation of obsequious obedience is added to the equation, trust is smothered to death by the dishonest / artificial exchange that has been created; an exchange in which one party thrives on the power and the other party is reduced to a plaything.

Another quote from 'The Girl Who Sang to the Buffalo: "... there's good scared and there's bad scared ... Good scared is just respect turned inside out." (What follows below are my written thoughts as a result of the preceding quote and not a reflection or interpretation of the author's extended thoughts.)

'Good scared' is the beginning of an evolution from acknowledged ignorance to a greater wisdom. The greater the wisdom, the less the fear, which infers that 'no fear' equals maximal wisdom; and since maximal wisdom is an unattainable ideal 'no fear' is impossible, which in turn means that 'no fear' is delusional.

'Bad scared' begins as 'good scared' but becomes 'bad scared' through denial and oblivious ignorance. 'Bad scared' is characterized by any or (sometimes) all of the following:

• a claim of 'no fear';
• a verbal or behavioral belief that all the world's connections begin and end with 'Me';
• a verbal or behavioral claim of maximal wisdom;
• an attempt to make rules to control and/or to justify - (that ultimately leads to an exponential bureaucracy);
• an expectation of obsequious obedience;
• a lack of empathy, compassion, and/or Exoteric Goodness.

(This feels like a partial list, but it covers considerable ground within this week's realm of thought.)

And this leads me to revisit the first-paragraph statement above that "I can pretend that man-made rules matter." I have always liked structure and felt that rules were necessary for self-discipline; and discipline was necessary for learning and growth. I still believe this. What I am coming to realize is that man-made rules simply beget more man-made rules. The rules that really matter -- rules like 'Do No Harm' -- were here long before man codified them with hundreds and thousands of subpart, addendum, and interpretation. The rules that really matter are not man-made rules; they are basic moral tenets that come from within and beyond, and to identify them as such (in a very large majority of individual circumstance) need no more than to ask, "Would your Mom be proud?" ('Mom' could be Dad, Grandma, or any more-experienced, ethical role-model.) And anyone that wants to argue for the necessity of the current entanglement of man-made rules, is scared; and probably not in a good way.