I understand before I even start that this is almost assuredly an exercise in futility – but I just – can’t – help – myself.

I can no longer hide it. And I can no longer hide from it. No matter how much it hurts, most times now I just lean into it, welcome it, embrace it. It is better to recognize it for what it is – a betrayal – than it is to hide its truth behind a mythical American Dream. It is better to look ahead at its trajectory, than to try and hide myself behind privilege that may or may not exist.

To unnecessarily act in one’s self-interest knowing it is at the expense of another is a trespass against all of humanity. Not that we act as if we care.

It does not have to be a zero-sum game, but because it often is, because that is what we have been taught, it is of course the wealthy and powerful consistently and constantly taking from those less-privileged. Must we first somehow reverse the flow of this zero-sum game so each of us can see it from all sides, before we can quit it entirely?

Below is an example close to home.

My employer is a large state university. I am employed in the medical school in a student support position. According to public records released in January, this past Fall I received a 3% pay increase. The dean of the medical school received a 4% increase. One might look and think that the increases are comparable, but if I would have received the dean’s dollars, my increase would have been 75.6%. The dean went from making 18.9 times more than me to making 19.1 times more, which again sounds close but again if I would have received the dean’s dollars (and he in turn mine) the dean would have went from making 18.9 times more than me to making 10.8 times more than me. The issue of course is the growing income gap. To entertain the thought that the dean is 19 times more deserving or more capable or more entitled than I am would require a different conversation; a conversation about available opportunities and available to whom and who makes the rules and bias and bureaucracy and convention and certainty and division. That is not this conversation.

Another way of seeing this conversation is that as said, instead of 3% I would have received 75% and on the other side, instead of 4% the dean would have received 0.15%. I suspect that the dean of the medical school would have been insulted by an offer of 0.15% yet I am expected to attach a different meaning to the same dollars. This example is one-to-one. More relevantly, looking at all pay for more than 23,000 employees in this same frame, if we would have reversed the dollar flow between the top 10% and the bottom 10%, instead of 6.65 times more, the gap would have narrowed significantly to where the top 10% would be making 4.1 times more than the bottom 10%. It is likely not necessary for one’s well-being (in the case of the dean) to pull in $910,000 instead of $875,000, nor is it likely a matter of life and death if the top 10% averaged $209,406.13 or $193,681.12. However, the difference (in the case of the bottom 10%) between $31,524.85 and $47,265.65 could hugely impact an individual’s or household’s well-being. It is worth repeating: a 59% increase for the bottom 10% would change lives. But instead of taking care of each other, the wealth gap widens, and the inequality is further entrenched, and the zero-sum game plays on with no dollar-flow-reversals and no rule changes. It is a trespass against humanity and (apparently) humanity should be grateful.

If we applied this thought exercise reversing the dollar flow between each pair of mirrored deciles, here is what would happen:

• For tier 1 (top and bottom 10%) instead of respective averages of $209,406.13 and $31,524.85 and the more affluent sector making 6.65 times as much, the respective averages would be $193,681.12 and $47,256.65 and the upper half would be making 4.10 times as much.
• For tier 2 (11-20% and 81-90%) instead of respective averages of $105,754.16 and $38,592.13 and the more affluent sector making 2.74 times as much, the respective averages would be $99,741.30 and $44,604.99 and the upper half would be making 2.24 times as much.
• For tier 3 (21-30% and 71-80%) instead of respective averages of $84,679.51 and $44,395.10 and the more affluent sector making 1.91 times as much, the respective averages would be $80,749.08 and $48,327.23 and the upper half would be making 1.67 times as much.
• For tier 4 (31-40% and 61-70%) instead of respective averages of $72,129.23 and $51,702.56 and the more affluent sector making 1.39 times as much, the respective averages would be $70,291.70 and $53,539.29 and the upper half would be making 1.31 times as much.
• For tier 5 (41-50% and 51-60%) instead of respective averages of $64,445.48 and $58,268.89 and the more affluent sector making 1.11 times as much, the respective averages would be $63,698.53 and $59,015.84 and the upper half would be making 1.08 times as much.

Equity! What a concept!

And if you’re paying attention, you will have noticed that this dollar flow reversal has allowed the bottom 10% to (barely) leapfrog the second decile from the bottom thus (in a sense) eliminating the bottom 10%. Wouldn’t that be something? And yes, there will be some in that second decile from the bottom who would want to complain about their paltry 20% increase compared to the 60% captured by the former bottom 10%. But they only need be reminded of two things: 1) that this process will work more in their favor next year when they are in the bottom 10%, and more importantly 2) To unnecessarily act in one’s self-interest knowing it is at the expense of another is a trespass against all of humanity.

Not that we act as if we care.