You ask me to perform a creative task that will help you.

Before I am able---before you allow me to begin work---you do what you had asked me to do, and you acknowledge that your results are likely different than what my results may have been.

You say you are interested in my opinion.

Then you say you really like what you have done.

Then you repeat that you would like to hear my thoughts as feedback, specific to your results.

Then you echo that you really, really like what you have done.

You are the boss. You are the owner of this task.

It is no longer my place to have an opinion.

If you truthfully wanted my opinion, you would have allowed me to complete the task first, before you told me that you had completed it and that you were very happy with your results.

You created an opportunity to see my thoughts, but before I could share, you hijacked the process, diminishing any effort I might now put forth. (Even if I worked very hard to put forth maximum effort, how could it not be weakened and/or influenced by the boss's results; results that she really, really likes.)

At first, yes, I was angry; (small anger, but anger nonetheless) . A small bit of this small anger was probably because it is human nature to believe I can do something better than you; and I am now unable to show that. Probably the biggest bit of this small anger was because I felt personally diminished.

But now I understand that it is also not my place to be angry. You were simply practicing your human nature, and you are the boss. Your actions may have diminished my efforts, and I (We?) may have missed an opportunity, but your actions do not diminish my personal creative value.

Because I am working to understand the workings of my anger, and because this incident truthfully was a small bit of anger, it lent itself nicely to a more objective analysis, which is how I came to this more rational perspective. It took me two days to reach this point, but by adding open-minded reason and understanding, I have not only moved past anger, I have also reenergized my desire to present a creative alternative; knowing that the ultimate decision is yours. And your decision will not diminish my personal creative value; (and my earlier statement that "I am now unable to show that" was in error).

So how do I apply this learning to future incidents of perceived...

• personal affront
• exclusion
• loss of control
• loss of power
• unfairness
• injustice
• missed opportunities

...and bypass anger and it's accompanying snide thoughts, remarks, and actions, moving directly to reason and understanding with no decrease in volition? Wow! Tall order.

But in this moment, I believe it is possible; but now in THIS moment I believe some idiot will come along with some egregious disservice and screw it all up. And in this moment I understand that both alternatives are likelihoods. There will be some days when the level of idiocy is flagrant and I will be unable to bypass my anger, and there will be some days when my level of tolerance is deficient (or nonexistent) and I will be unable to bypass my anger.

For there to be any possibility of bypassing anger, I must remember volition. When I feel anger rumbling and rising, I must channel it into a stubborn resolve that will (courteously) plow through the initial detritus disgorged by my anger. I must not change direction, trying to work around my anger, and I must not stand still, continuing to spout and spew all over others. I believe silently and unpretentiously working my way through the mean of my anger to be a more direct and unpleasant route, (thus a speedier route), to reason and understanding and continued learning and growth.

I believe one day I will tire of wading through anger vomit.