This week I tripped over a spectrum in my search for Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness. Dazed but unhurt, I picked myself up and (though I never reached the extreme in either direction) traveled some distance in both directions, identifying one end of the spectrum as 'the approval of others' and the other end as 'the disapproval of others'. Each manifested itself as varying degrees of (or lack of) trust and confidence. Puzzled as to why this should trip me up and impede my progress, I have spent 2 or 3 days walking alongside this serpentine troglodyte to study, learn, and better understand its nature.

I have learned that it is a cave dweller, preferring the deeper recesses of my mind and, whenever possible, avoiding the light of day, thus perpetuating the belief that I am an independent thinker with independent thoughts. I have learned that unlike many, this spectrum is full of twists and turns; hidden curves that increase the likelihood of head-on impact. I have learned that it is deceitful, indirect, and devious, leading me to think it is inconsequential with little or no influence on thoughts and actions. I have learned that I am foolish to take it lightly; not only for the reasons above, but perhaps because it contains more legitimacy and truthfulness than is apparent on the surface thus validating a connection between humanity and 'other-worldly' considerations.

So it seems that what I must do is get hold of this beast and drag it (writhing and squirming) from its hidey-hole into the sunshine that's my life. Once in the light I believe I should soothe it with kind words and gentle caresses in order to attain some degree of control over the influence of the approval/disapproval from others. (I believe all of us acknowledge and accept the influence/impact that loved ones have on us, but in many if not most cases this influence is unwelcome when it comes from mere acquaintances, bosses, co-workers, or strangers. Nonetheless, it is real.) So instead of ignoring it and allowing it to remain hidden, I believe acknowledgment and respect will not only domesticate and house-train its unruly nature but will ultimately lead to a partial melding or fusion of the aforementioned connection between our humanity and our potential for Happiness.

I am hesitant to admit the power of another's words or actions; sometimes even of those I am close to. I would like to think their approval is superfluous and their disapproval is misguided and/or unnecessary, but ... the reality typically does not match my bravado.

I like praise. I do not like that someone (anyone) does not trust me. This week I specifically asked someone to "Please Trust" - They did not. What ensued was an unpleasant downward spiral.

No one is beyond reproach. It is human nature to make mistakes, so logic dictates that no one can be trusted. But doesn't it feel better to trust and be trusted, than it does to judge and be judged? And isn't it more likely that a spirit of mutual trust and confidence will create better results faster, than an atmosphere of mistrust? Studies consistently show these things to be true.

From my experience this week I would add that mutual trust and confidence will assist in closing the gap on Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness, while mistrust, judgment, and castigation will widen that gap, or at the least, impede progress. This for me is proof that a connection does exist between my Humanity (even those malformed, misshapen, ugly aspects of my Humanity that I'd prefer stay hidden) and my potential for Happiness.

It's nice to know.