It was a heart-sinking, heart-shrinking, heart-thinking moment. This prevalent prioritization of nonessential concerns leaves me wrung out. In my ignorance, I am still on occasion entertained and amused; and even participatory. In recent years this has more frequently progressed to sadness and anger, which in turn has propelled me toward self-education and efforts to persuade. And ultimately now this has evolved into these feelings of helplessness and futility.

I believe that (unfortunately) it will always be a majority of all individuals that fall into this consensus complicity of simplicity, choosing easy over difficult; choosing divisiveness over common ground; choosing ineptitude over meaningful accomplishment; choosing personal satisfaction and gain---in this moment, in this Lifetime, over the advancement and (possible) survival of all Humanity---past, present, and future.

I believe it is a fear of growing closer to death that urges us to make these choices. I believe it is a choice between relevance and irrelevance; but I believe that a majority of us mistake individual recognition and self-congratulations as relevance and overlook the actual relevance of difficult, meaningful, universally-applicable progress because we fear we may not stand out in the crush of the larger common ground. We do not want to be lost in a crowd.

Standing in that crowd, (imagined though it may be), I do feel crushed; and lost. But I believe my feelings are due to the imaginary nature of this crowd. I believe that to fill this common ground with the energy of worldwidespread interdependence would leave me feeling exhilarated; as opposed to helpless. I believe I must continue to work very hard at self-education and (when and where I'm able), persuasion, because I believe there is a limit to how much my heart can sink - and shrink - and think - before it ultimately bursts.