Hating Happiness

There are days when I believe myself to be a misanthrope.

Nicolas Chamfort said, "Public opinion is the worst of all opinions."

Voltaire said, "The earth swarms with people who are not worth talking to."

Arthur Schopenhauer said, "There is in the world only the choice between loneliness and vulgarity."

Albert Einstein said, "Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the former."

Bertrand Russell said, "Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."

Despite an affinity to the above quotes, I would like to argue that I do not hate humankind. I merely hate that our intelligence, talent, and creativity are frequently misguided; sometimes horribly so; and often intentionally misguided by a vocal minority. I would like to believe that we are not stupid; we merely do stupid things. I work to maintain the active hope that we will accelerate our progress, and that we are not already too late. Yes, I believe most people are not worth talking to. Yes, I prefer loneliness over vulgarity. Yes, I believe most people do not think to the depth and complexity that is necessary, or that they are capable of. Yes, I am an idealist with high standards and a low tolerance for misguided efforts. But despite these misanthropic characteristics I do not believe that a true misanthrope would exhibit the sincere, abiding care I have put forth in recent years, in an effort to understand and argue for a rational, universal interdependence that will productively contribute to the ultimate survival of Humanity. As unrealistic as these efforts may seem to some, (including, on some days, myself), the logic is sound. I do not hate humankind.

Though as I think about this, I guess I am saying that I do hate this current version of humankind, which I suppose makes me a misanthrope in this moment. But in a sense, shouldn't we all be? The whole of Humanity after all, does reflect back on the individual, (as the perception of the individual reflects back on the whole of Humanity); and if I hate the current version, (or any aspect), of me, I believe I will work much harder to change, than if I simply dislike, or if I am merely uncomfortable with, or if I refuse to acknowledge, the hated version or aspect of me; the same principle should also apply to the whole of Humanity. I still argue that I am not an avowed-for-life, stable misanthrope; I am more of a radioactive misanthrope working toward an interdependent clarity and stability made possible by multiple, forward-thinking radioactive misanthropes. Individual Radioactive Misanthropy in the moment not only adds a sense of urgency to change, but also requires change. Whereas Individual Stable Misanthropy and (individual or collective) Misguided Energy only serve to maintain status quo which (I believe) is ultimately the same as degenerative decay.

With all that said, I sit here awake, kept up later than my usual, facing a potential (and very disturbing, ugly) truthfulness that I do hate this version of humankind (at least to some degree) because I cannot keep up; I feel left out. A few years ago I was in the game; and by some accounts, I was a fairly adept player. Today, when I look into the eyes of those around me, I see disappointment and I feel lost and forgotten. Is this reflection accurate? Or is it distorted? Or perhaps the more relevant question is, "Does it matter?" After all, these feelings of inadequacy have been the guiding force behind the aforementioned "sincere, abiding care I have put forth in recent years..." This loss in standing and power has been the impetus to question, and study, and learn. This fall from acceptable community standards of grace has broadened horizons and forced a depth and complexity of personal thoughts and considerations never before thought or considered.

I believe there to be some (but not complete) accuracy in my reflection as seen in the eyes of others; and I believe (to a lesser degree) there is some self-hating distortion. If I am to be an in-the-moment, radioactive misanthrope, as a part of the Humanity that I hate, I have no choice but to feel some of that hate reflected back on me. But I prefer being part of that painful whole to hating and blaming only others, or to lying to and hiding from myself and others. So yes, it does matter what I see reflected in the eyes of others, in that I must feel to change; and I must change to progress. And I am less likely to change if I set myself apart (as a stable misanthrope) to look down in judgement, or if I allow myself to be lost in a crowd (of misguided energies).

I do not hate humankind. I do not believe humankind to be worthless, or a lost cause. I merely believe we can (and must) be better; and to be better, in this moment I cannot love humankind.

I do not hate me. I do not believe I am worthless, or a lost cause. I merely believe that I can (and must) be better; and to be better, in this moment I cannot love me.

This entry was posted in Philosophy. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Hating Happiness

  1. Pingback: Happiness Fractured | hopelesshappiness.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *