Lamentable Happiness

The following is modeled after Samuel Taylor Coleridge's The Rime of the Ancient Mariner (Part 1 and Part 2) with exact (or very near) quotes denoted by quotation marks and italics.

The Lament of the Ancient Derelict

Part 1

1. It is an ancient Derelict
Who posts here once a week
With gray-flecked beard, and fiery eye
Fool tongue trapped in his cheek.

2. The Internet was open wide
A platform for his talk
No one arrived; no one to hear
No one to point and gawk.

3. He paid no never mind to this
Each week he kept on talking
Unjustified; there's some would say
Twas he, he kept on mocking.

4. He works to grab them with his wit
His savvy and his cool
He listens to his echoed tripe
The Derelict still the Fool.

5. No one to hear; no one to scoff
No one to contradict
"And thus spake on that ancient man"
The wild-eyed Derelict.

6. The Truth was cheered, and Wisdom sought
Tied up with Happiness
All tempered with reality
And shadowed Hopelessness.

7. His journey thus began alone
Armed with his bow and sword
Those few he asked to come along
Refused to come aboard.

8. 'To Hell with them,' he stayed the path
With faith that he'd persuade.
But thoughts and words unheard left him
Discouraged and dismayed.

9. Nonetheless, he rambled on
And found some rough terrain
A rocky, stumbling path that brought
Adversity and pain.

10. The path thus far; what was to come
No gypsy could predict
"And thus spake on that ancient man"
The wild-eyed Derelict.

11. Scraped and bruised he fell and crawled
And fought and cried and cursed
Driven by his need to slake
His hunger and his thirst.

12. A storm came up; the wind did howl
The rain came down like lead
Yet he could not, despite the fray
Leave unheard words unsaid
So driven on he hunkered down
"And southward aye he fled."

13. Or so he thought, but there was ice
And snow and sleet and cold
A land outside of time and place?
A mystery to unfold.

14. He felt the heat of eyes on him
He felt a chill most strange
The land was deathly calm and still
He called out for exchange.

15. "At length did cross an Albatross"
Were these the eyes so feared?
A bird that brought good luck, some thought,
Put gray into the beard.

16. He heard the cracking ice retort
A loud-sharp pang of sound
He felt the bird nearby as he
Traversed the slippery ground.

17. He found his way to trees and bush
The Albatross perched near
Sheltered from the ice and snow
The bird congealed his fear.

18. But with a fire and newfound warmth
A sudden melancholy
Reminded him of distant dreams
The fool and his folly.

19. He eyed the bird and questioned all
He pondered how and why
He saw that bird for what it was
Superstition that must die.

20. "Truth save thee, ancient Derelict
From the fiends that plague thee thus!---
Why look'st thou so?---With sword and bow
He slew the ALBATROSS."

Part 2

21. The sun now rose assuring him
That it was meant to be
The bird had died in search of Truth
Though some would disagree

22. Those who refused to come aboard
He felt their presence near
Their judgment weighing down on him
Their cocksure cloak of fear.

23. "And he had done a hellish thing,
And it would work 'em woe:
For all averred, he had killed the bird"

That put them in the know
"Ah wretch! said they, the bird to slay,"
That put them in the know.

24. Of course, it was imaginings
He heard within his head
Those very same who would not hear
Now filled him with cold dread
The spirit voice of all as one
Those past and those ahead.

25. But No! He argued with himself
He must stay skeptical
To question why; to seek the Truth;
No time to gather wool.

26. So in this melancholy state
He traveled on again
To lands of people he once knew
A place where he'd once been.

27. But he had changed, and they had not
They did not understand
For they'd found comfort and good cheer
In this, their candied land.

28. He looked around and saw great things
Much Beauty and some Truth
But they lived day to day, to daze
Hypnotically uncouth.

29. Knowledge, knowledge, every where,
And all the minds did shrink;
Knowledge, knowledge, every where,
Yet no one dared to drink.

30. He caught a whiff of stagnant rot
He glimpsed a glimpse obscene
He felt the crawl of slimy things
That oozed a slimy sheen.

31. But no one else took heed or note
"The death-fires danced at night;"
Bewitched by powers beyond their ken
Bedeviled by their fright.

32. They lived a dream of mice, not men
Caught up in this, their maze
Unwilling to besmirch their hope
Or venture from their haze.

33. So in daylight the Derelict
Commenced to lift the shroud
From o'er the bird that died for Truth;
A silence choked the crowd.

34. "Ah! Well a-day! What evil looks
Had he by old and young!
Instead of the cross, the Albatross
Around his neck was hung."

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