I believe everyone in existence (past, present, and future) is a Zombie; everyone that is, except me. Granted, you are a very sophisticated form of Zombie in that I don't see you eating brains and each one of you present yourself as very much like me, but I still believe you are a Zombie. I know I am not a Zombie because I have a sense of me; I can self-identify. I would like to believe that you also are able to self-identify, but I can think of no way to prove this. I have no sense-of-me for you. You are you - a Zombie.

You may truly believe you are not a Zombie and I know you would like to argue and plead your case but the fact is there is nothing you can say or do that will compel me to conceive or believe otherwise. As long as you maintain this facade of humanity, I will do so in kind. We can continue to learn and grow together in mutually beneficial and respectful relationships. You are no more or less necessary than me, and I am no better than you in any way; except one - I am not a Zombie.

Here is another supporting proof that you are a Zombie: I have free will; that is the potential to feel, think, and act in any way I please. You, on the other hand, are simply out there impacting my desired results; (which is okay because the impact is often synergistic and positive, and when it is not, I learn from the adversity - just please don't eat my brain). You do not have free will in that all I observe from you are reactions. If you want to disagree on this point I challenge you to reveal the source of your free will which you will be unable to do because the source of my free will is my sense-of-me and since you cannot prove a personal sense-of-me to me you cannot have free will and, you are still a Zombie.

Further supporting proof: I am fairly adept at reading and interpreting my thoughts but I am unable to read or interpret your thoughts with any consistent accuracy (oftentimes even when you verbalize them). Additionally, you are unable to read or interpret my thoughts and I 'Have' a sense-of-me which (if you were a non-zombie like me) should simplify the process. So the fact that you are contemplating my brain as a comestible delicacy instead of a thought-producing consciousness often gets in the way of sharing thoughts beyond words.

Additional substantiation: I have purpose in my movement supported by the fact that wherever I go, there I am. You wander aimlessly, often in packs, you are easily distracted by and attracted to noise, and wherever you go if I am not there you lack a sense-of-me. Those times I do find myself out amongst you it is me exercising free will, and often when I am there and I ask you 'what's going on?' you respond, "nothing." 'Hello' - 'Anyone Home?' - No; because you are a Zombie.

At this point you might want to argue that you could invert this equation and claim that you are the only non-zombie. This will not hold up because (1) that is exactly what a Zombie would say, and (2) if you were not a Zombie you would have already made this claim. It took me 53 years as a rational, sane, non-zombie human to discover this truth and as far as I know it has never been presented in exactly these terms. Now though, there will be many Zombies jumping on the bandwagon, confusing the issue, and claiming not to be a Zombie; which is sadly predictable.

In my Lifetime there have been a few Beings that I have felt occasional, momentary vibrancy in what is otherwise a pale, translucent reflection of a mutual sense-of-me. Please don't misread this as an aspersion; it is not. This pale reflection is a thrilling accomplishment, because for all but a very small handful of the Zombies on this planet I have no 'sense-of-me' connection at all. Unfortunately though, even in these connections with my wife, my children, and other close family and friends, I am still unable to verify that any part of this sense-of-me is emanating from anyone but me. Therefore, regardless of the sincere, deeply-felt Love, the fact remains that I am married to a Zombie, my children are Zombies, and the in-laws are ... well ... the in-laws are Zombies and in-laws.

Bottom line: I believe I have now proven that everyone in existence (past, present, and future) is a Zombie; everyone that is, except me.

Happy Halloween!