Last week I encouraged doubt and uncertainty in the form of thoughtful (internal and external) skepticism. I also encouraged the following, which (I believe) will flow better from a wellspring of doubt and uncertainty:

• an acknowledgment of the fluid nature of reality;
• an active openness toward change;
• and a larger educational focus on the Humanities (specifically History's greatest thinkers).

This week I want to identify and discuss three prerequisites for the (umbrella) doubt and uncertainty as described last week and see where that leads:

1. Embrace Mistakes; (especially your own).
2. If you don't know, say "I don't know."
3. Learn how to constructively question.

Embrace Mistakes: Look around and you will see there is no dearth of mistakes. Many people are very good at finding other's mistakes, many people are very good at obliviously ignoring or blithely overlooking their own mistakes, and everyone is equally good at making mistakes. The goal here should be to first acknowledge the equality, then treat other's mistakes objectively, as a learning tool, with no malicious intent or avoidable suffering; and then, most importantly, to critically examine one's own decisions and actions, in order to learn from the imperfections. I promise you that every decision I make and every action I carry out is lacking in some way. My humanity prohibits Perfection. With that said, I must also be aware of the iniquity inherent in regret. I cannot dwell on my mistakes to the point of virulent stagnation; I must learn and move on.

I Don't Know: We have a fear of looking dumb. It is sometimes hard to say "I don't know" especially in the (literal or figurative) face of authority or expertise. We can sometimes fake it, lay low, or go on the offensive, but these options simply maintain status quo and/or have the potential to aggravate existing circumstance, and, we still don't know. This week I was faced with an expert (in engine repair) and even in the midst of thinking and writing on the benefits of doubt, I found myself intimidated and pretending to know more than I did. I did not want to look dumb in this testosterone-infused environment, so I faked it. I did not have the courage to say "I don't know", and guess what? - I still don't know. Perhaps ignorance makes us feel more alone. Perhaps our aversion to admitting ignorance is an effort to conquer reality. Perhaps admitting ignorance and owning our mistakes will lead to deeper connections. And perhaps deeper connections will encourage empathic listening and progressive change.

Question Everything: This must be done with respect and an eye to progressive change. When faced with an opinion or belief worth discussing, I believe this can be accomplished more frequently by following the guidelines below:

1. Tell me what you believe.
2. Tell me why you believe it.
3. I will restate (asking questions as necessary) to confirm understanding.
4. I will Agree or Disagree; (to all or in part); (privately or publicly).

If this is an actual face-to-face or public discussion one should then reverse roles (as often as necessary) to come to some agreement, common ground, respectful disagreement, or a blending of these. I will be the first to admit that disagreements I am involved with often do not go as scripted above. It is too easy to skip straight to step #4 and stand firm; and that is as true of agreement (groupthink) as it is of disagreement. Additionally Step #3 should be voluntary; though it is a critical step, to force another to prove their listening skills reeks of indoctrination and will potentially negate any progress made through the remainder of the process. There are some who simply need to absorb information and let it simmer for maximum understanding; this is especially true if the new information contradicts a personal opinion or belief.

Finally: Last week I also differentiated between lower-case happiness (pleasure, good cheer, and/or satisfaction) and upper-case Happiness (one's search for Truth and Wisdom), and pondered the likelihood of more meaningful, worthwhile human interaction that will bring us collectively closer to Truth and Wisdom. This week I stumbled across the following thoughts from a character in Matt Bell's work of fiction 'In The House Upon The Dirt Between The Lake And The Woods':

The days were thieves, and the happier ones the worst, their distractions allowing the hours to pass unnoticed, allowing the minutes to be snatched away without knowledge of their passing ... whenever we were satisfied, then we were deluded, and in our delusions the days took from us what was ours, as wood hollowed with termites, as all iron rusted, as our clothes faded and split their machined threads, and as the home-sewn furs that replaced them grew stale and stiff."

This passage almost perfectly describes the dangers inherent in lower-case happiness. We are a people very busy with life and happiness to the extent that we too often neglect Life and Happiness. Many factors contribute to this thievery including Us vs. Them, the influence of mass media, a culture of narcissism, and a work ethic aptly characterized by a current ad slogan for a technology giant - "Work Easy / Play Hard". We seem to think we deserve EASY especially in the context of unpleasant tasks such as work. Embracing mistakes is not easy. Admitting ignorance is not easy. Asking thoughtful questions in a potentially adversarial context is not easy. Being part of 'Us' and having to deal with 'Them' is not easy. Yet all of these challenges are necessary for learning and growth. It is too bad that our thoughts and actions often choose 'Easy' over 'Happiness'.

I recently read a philosophical comparison of those competitive sports with a clock (football and basketball are examples) and those competitive sports with no clock; (baseball is an example). With a clock competitors have some opportunity to stall. Life has a clock. Lower-case happiness is a stalling strategy. Upper-case Happiness requires an internal moral and aesthetic transcendence. Think about it...

Stolen Minutes, Passing Hours - Stolen Opportunities, Passing Truths - Stolen Wisdom, Passing Lives.